Tuesday, June 2, 2009

"Walter, I love you, but sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fact you're a goddamn moron..."

The Best Movies of Our Lives, Part Four: 1998 - 2003

See also: part one (1979-1985), part two (1986-1991), and part three (1992-1997).

Shuk's picks

1998....The Big Lebowski
: Well, obviously. One of the most compulsively rewatchable movies of all time. I've always been struck by how some filmmakers just get into grooves, not unlike baseball players. The Coen brothers made some solid films and had a lot of indie cred through the early 90's, and then boom, Fargo and Lebowski, back-to-back. Talk about a powerful duo. Lebowski wasn't actually a notable hit upon its release, but it became a big cult favourite and now, over a decade later, I think we can all agree that John Goodman was royally jobbed out of an Oscar. I could go on and on about the script alone, which I still think is the Coens' best just due to all of the layers it works on at the same time. It's kind of a mystery, but not really, yet still has the complexity of classic film noir while spoofing the genre at the same time. Along the way there's also about a half-dozen scenes that are as funny as any ever filmed. Fun fact: when I saw this for a screening in first-year film class, people gave Steve Buscemi's first appearance a raucous ovation.

Kyle: excellent selection....and very nearly my own. Agreed re: Goodman (it was a tour-de-force performance, though surely not as memorable as actual winner...James Coburn in Affliction?!? Good Lord!). I feel like Turturro's two-minute cameo has to be mentioned--hysterical (see part of it here). Three bits of TBL that I love: (1) that most of The Dude's clothes actually belonged to Jeff Bridges; (2) that Donny (Buscemi) bowls a strike every single time, except for the scene immediately before he dies; and (3) (which I just discovered) The Dude never bowls in the film. (Also: Jacob from Lost is one of the thugs--very cool.)

Mark: Those tidbits are awesome. Apparently the Coens thought about making a Jesus spinoff film, before realizing that it's hard to make an egomaniacal pederast into anything remotely sympathetic. The only positive of James Coburn winning an Oscar is that when I'm doing the "name the best supporting actors" quiz on Sporcle and type in 'Coburn,' I also get Charles Coburn's win in the 1940's, which I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Runners-up.....(I'm cheating just a bit and adding six runners-up instead of the usual four since I just couldn't decide. Consider this just a half-use of my extension.)

Pleasantville: Don't let the high-concept premise --- two teens (Tobey Maguire and Reese Witherspoon, both of whom pre-real fame) are somehow zapped into the universe of a 1950's sitcom --- fool you. This is a surprisingly deep and endlessly interesting film. It's bolstered by gorgeous photography that makes full use of the black-and-white-turns-to-color gimmick. I actually wrote about this film in an essay about the use of colour in movies back in school and, since I racked up an A-minus, I have a major soft spot for ol' P-Ville. In addition to Reese and Tobey, you've also got character actor stalwarts like JT Walsh, Jeff Daniels, William H. Macy, and even fucking Don Knotts (!) adding some credibility to the occasion. I'm a little stunned that Joan Allen didn't garner at least an Oscar nomination, especially since this movie came out right in the middle of the Academy's 'we love Joan Allen' period in the mid-1990's.

Run Lola Run: I'm a little hesitant to put RLR on the list since its quality tricked me into a lifetime of thinking that Tom Tykwer was a good director. Oh, the hours I wasted watching 'Perfume' or 'The International.' But, proving that a broken clock is right twice a day, Tykwer struck gold with the always-exciting Lola Rennt. I've used 'Schisse' as a curse word ever since reading it in a novel in sixth grade, but after RLR, I stretched it out to 'Schisse Manni,' thus making RLR rank surprisingly high on the list of my most oft-quoted films. Ah, profanity.

Shakespeare In Love: The 'Shakespeare In Love vs. Saving Private Ryan' debate is one of the quintessential apples vs. oranges examples of the difficulty of picking a Best Picture every year at the Oscars. The feeling in the aftermath of the 1998 Oscars was that 'Private Ryan' got hosed, but honestly, Shakespeare In Love is the better movie. (It also saved the Academy the embarrassment of awarding Best Picture to a movie starring Vin Diesel.) It's strange that Joseph Fiennes basically dropped off the face of the earth after a starring role in a major film like this.

A Simple Plan: Three men find a bagful of money in a field. Complications ensue. That's all you really need to know. ASP is classic psychological film noir that stands up with the best of Hitchcock or Highsmith. This is Sam Raimi's best movie that doesn't feature Alfred Molina in metal tentacles.

There's Something About Mary: It still holds up! Woo-hoo! It would've been a shame if this teenage classic had suddenly become dated. If anything, it might be even more relevant now given that it features Brett Favre unable to let go of the past. There's not much more to be said about the movie other than it's hilarious, and that Matt Dillon hits a home run. If there's one thing different about watching TSAM now, it's that Dillon's performance is the funniest thing in the movie.

Zero Effect: As mentioned before, I'm a sucker for a good mystery, and Zero Effect is one of the best mysteries of the last decade. Bill Pullman plays an eccentric detective, Ben Stiller is his exasperated assistant, Kim "Sawyer's babymama on LOST" Dickens is the sorta-femme fatale, and in spite of these big names, this might be the most obscure film on either of our lists. Literally NOBODY I know has ever even heard of this one.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Gods and Monsters, The Thin Red Line, Out Of Sight (though I have read the original Elmore Leonard novel)

Kyle: I saw Zero Effect a few years ago, possibly on your recommendation, and recall enjoying it quite a bit....though it still seems curious to me that someone had enough confidence in Bill Pullman to make him a leading man (possible angle: "he was semi-believable as Commander-in-Chief in Independence Day!" Note: this will be the only mention of ID4 on these lists.) Good call, too, with Run Rola Run and Shakespeare in Love (which nearly made my list. I remember wanting to hate it, because I was annoyed that SPR didn't win Best Pic, watching it, then begrudgingly acknowledging that it was pretty damn good. And, yeah, what the hell happened to Joseph Fiennes? He was terrific here.)

As for Pleasantville, I had extremely high expectations, and couldn't help being very let down. Some of it was well executed (the whole basketball team never missing because, well, they never missed during their--limited--screentime on the show? Very cool), but a lot of it felt pretty heavy-handed to me. Here's a question, was it a meta-commentary on Director Gary Ross's part to make the issues so black and white in the movie? Like, wouldn't it have been more satisfying if William H. Macy was right even once during the 124 minutes? I believe at one point I actually blurted out "we fucking get it! It's a metaphor for racism!" (which was awkward, since I was watching it with my parents...). And I maintain that the scene where the tree explodes in color as Joan Allen climaxes in the bathtub is almost unbearably stupid. That said, I'd really like to read your paper--do you still have it?

Mark: I still have it around somewhere, probably on the computer in my parents' house. Hope you like converting Corel WordPerfect files! Joan Allen climaxing to a burning tree is still less stupid than Eric Bana climaxing to images of the Munich Massacre....I swear, Kyle, if Munich is on your 2005 list....

1999....The Talented Mr. Ripley: Here's a movie that has been lost to the sands of time in spite of the big-name cast behind it. Patricia Highsmith is pretty much the master of unsettling psychological thrillers, writing a number of classic suspense novels including Strangers On A Train and the Tom Ripley novels. Matt Damon gives the best performance of any of the actors (Dennis Hopper, Barry Pepper and John Malkovich) who have portrayed Ripley on film since he gives Tom just enough of an in-over-his-head edge to balance his natural sneakiness that keeps the character's fate in question. Hopper-as-Ripley, for instance, was so smart and composed that you never believed he was in any danger. Damon-as-Ripley seems to always be one step away from being found out. If you never thought much of Matt Damon's acting skills, check this movie out and prepare to have your mind blown.

Kyle: This is your only pick in part four that I vigorously disagree with, mostly because, at best, Ripley is half a movie. Up until the point where (SPOILER ALERT) Damon kills Jude Law (roughly an hour in, if I recall correctly), the movie is outstanding (that scene in particular is shot so perfectly), but it quickly goes downhill after that. As much as I like Matt Damon, I felt like Hoffman was acting circles around him whenever they were onscreen together...and the whole thing had a Brady Bunch feel to it (see, in particular, the episode where Peter inadvertently schedules two dates on the same night--in the Brady household!--and has to juggle both of them, including changing his outfit each time he changes girls. Season 5, episode 18 "Two Petes in a Pod." If you watch it, I swear you'll like Ripley about 15% less.)

Also: have you seen all the other Ripley flicks? I think the only one I watched was Ripley's Game (with Malkovich), a direct-to-DVD (or, in the alternative, in theatres for approximately nine seconds) job that was jaw-droppingly dull. I think I actually fell asleep 30 minutes in, woke up, remembered why I'd fallen asleep, then passed out until the credits rolled. Am I being too harsh?

Mark: I've seen the Malkovich and Hopper ones, and neither are any good. Comparing TTMR to a Brady Bunch episode? Harsh. And really, I like Damon a lot too, but I hardly expect him to put on a clinic when it's in a scene with Hoffman.

Runners-up.....extension number three! Er, three and a half!.....

American Beauty: What a weird choice as Best Picture. Not that AB isn't a great movie or anything, but man, it's strange how every once in a while the Academy seizes on an out-there choice that just goes whole-hog in giving it every Oscar under the sun. Just a spectacularly well-cast movie, with almost every actor turning in the second-best performance of their careers. (Spacey: Usual Suspects, Bening: Grifters, Janney: West Wing, Cooper: Adaptation, Birch: Ghost World...as for Wes Bentley and Mena Suvari, yeah, this was definitely their best work.)

Being John Malkovich: Back in 2000 I was having a depressing weekend. A girl was involved, I ate a lot of ice cream, it was a long story. Whereas some people might watch a fluffy comedy to get their mind off things, I instead watched Being John Malkovich, and frankly, my mood went from blue to WTF in about a five-minute span. It takes balls just to conceive of a movie like this, let alone actually make it, but Charlie Kaufman and Spike Jonze produced one of the great surreal comedies of our time. You've got all of the body-swapping, mind-bending stuff bookended by the hilarious story of the 7 1/2 floor and the inexplicable Malkovich/Charlie Sheen friendship. ("Ma-sheen!" "Malkotraz!") Who gives the best performance in the movie, oddly enough? John Malkovich.

Election: The Hillary Clinton = Tracy Flick joke was made by roughly 850,000 different people during the 2008 presidential campaign. (Does this make Barack Obama into Chris Klein? That comparison doesn't really work. For one thing, I'm pretty sure Obama has never tried to seduce a woman by saying 'Suck me, beautiful.' Joe Biden, however, almost certainly has used this line.) Anyway, Election is a terrific satire and notable for being one of the few times I've ever actually enjoyed Matthew Broderick in a movie.

Galaxy Quest: As an old Star Trek fan myself back in my teenage days, this couldn't have been a more pitch-perfect satire of sci-fi shows, and yet it also serves as a tribute to nerdy fandom itself. I actually almost ranked it #1 for the year. The cast, impressive in 1999 is even more impressive today given the future credits of most of the supporting cast; you've also got the likes of Enrico Colantoni and Rainn Wilson as aliens, Justin Long as the geeky Galaxy Quest uber-fan and even Robin 'Ethan Rayne on Buffy' Sachs as the villain, totally unrecognizable under about a quart of makeup. And that's not even counting main cast actors like Sam Rockwell and Tony Shalhoub who went on to larger successes in the wake of this movie. And, last but not least, the Great Alan Rickman. That's his official name now. "By Grabthar's hammer..."

The Insider: For all the tabloid nonsense that Russell Crowe gets himself embroiled with, the fact of the matter is, the guy is one of the 10 best actors in the world. 'Insider' was his first major role and he just knocks it out of the park. He totally outshines Pacino, who wasn't quite in the phone-it-in phase of his career yet. This was one of the great journalism-themed movies of our era, and it's too bad that Crowe followed it up a decade later with the blah 'State of Play.' Spoiler alert, that one won't end up on my 2009 list. It's also worth mentioning that Insider star Christopher Plummer gave the commencement address at my graduation, and basically just made drinking jokes for 10 minutes. Good times.

Magnolia: The downside of being a film major is that when you watch a movie like this with your buddies, they all turn to you afterwards and ask, 'Whoa, hey Mark, what was up with that movie?' I believe my cultured, enlightened response was 'Uhhhh....' There may have been more h's, I'm not sure. I've already expressed my love of Robert Altman's interconnected, large-cast movies, and PT Anderson takes a page from Altman's book to create a similar type of film, except perhaps with a more out-there feel.

Office Space: No list of great movie villains is complete without Bill Lumburgh. Everything else in the movie is pretty great, but the addition of Lumburgh puts Office Space into a class of its own. This movie is basically required viewing for anyone who's ever worked in an office of any kind. I may have once called a fantasy baseball team the Pieces Of Flair.

Sleepy Hollow: Let's see, Tim Burton adapting the story of Ichabod Crane and the Headless Horseman. Yeah, this has slam-dunk written all over it. The film suffers just a bit from the "let's cast a talented actor in a seemingly tiny role, which makes it kinda obvious that they're the killer" syndrome, but SH has so much else going for it in terms of creepy atmosphere and the plot becomes almost secondary. (And I wouldn't dream of revealing who actually plays the Horseman when you see him in a flashback avec his head.) Given that we're just a few months away from Burton's adaptation of Alice In Wonderland with Depp as the Mad Hatter, I think we can safely put Burton-Depp near the top of the pantheon of legendary director/actor collaborative duos.

Three Kings: It's too bad that David O. Russell is apparently a legendary asshole, since when he does manage to piss off few enough people to actually make a movie, it usually ends up being at worst interesting, at best tremendous. 'Three Kings' is one of the few war movies made in the last 20 years or so that hasn't been as boring as hell, due in part to the original script and the fact that Russell filmed it in such a unique way. The story of Russell and Clooney literally coming to blows on the set is pretty funny as well. (Also, since lord knows I won't be mentioning I Heart Huckabees on this list, track down the YouTube clip of Russell and Lily Tomlin getting into a screaming match on the set of that film. C-bombs are dropped, fake doors are slammed, it's quite a production.)

(And, just because I haven't mentioned enough movies yet, American Pie, Payback, Notting Hill, Matrix and the South Park movie were also excellent. 1999 was a hell of a year for great cinema.)

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Cider House Rules, as I was dissatisfied with the novel so I figured the film couldn't be much better. I was at least pleased to see John Irving win the best adapted screenplay Oscar, since while he didn't deserve it, c'mon, it's John Irving. Also, the Iron Giant (*ducks rock thrown by Kyle*) and Topsy-Turvy.

Kyle: Delighted you included: Magnolia (the last great Tom Cruise performance? I'm excluding his work in Tropic Thunder, which, while amusing, is really more like sketch comedy), American Beauty (the only movie I've ever gone to see on my own), The Insider (YES! Though the fact that you got Christopher Plummer for your commencement address while I had to settle for Sheila Rogers is all kinds of annoying), Galaxy Quest (great selection! Surprisingly moving in places. Insert joke about Sigourney Weaver still getting it done in that jumpsuit), and Office Space (Gary Cole!). Lukewarm towards: Sleepy Hollow (I liked it, but it didn't make much of an impression on me. Without looking it up, I can name a single person aside from Depp that was in the movie), Three Kings (wanted to love it; didn't. Agreed re: war movies being a bit of letdown of late. That said, I liked Jarhead and In the Valley of Elah, tolerated (though only just) Lions for Lambs, and am hearing wonderful things about The Hurt Locker), and Malkovich (which, again, I enjoyed, but didn't blow me away. I feel as if there's something about Charlie Kaufman that I'm not getting/may never get, since he's written six movies now and I've only loved two of them--Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Enternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind--and outright hated a third one, Synechodche, New York).

Mark: Has Tom Cruise ever had a 'great' performance? Seriously, every role is a variation of the young hotshot who learns a lesson by the end. The only really outstanding performance I'd say Cruise has delivered was in Collateral, where he just totally broke type and did a surprisingly tremendous job. And I'm surprised that you've only seen one movie by your lonesome in your life. I do it surprisingly often....but then again, I'm also a sad loner.

2000.....Unbreakable: Man, why can't M. Night Shyamalan make movies like this anymore? 'Unbreakable' is a fascinating thriller/mystery with a twist ending that only enhances the rest of the film for a second viewing, not ruins it (I'm looking in your direction, Usual Suspects). It's also one of the great superhero movies ever made, and I probably should've put it on my best comic movies ever list last year. By far Shyamalan's best movie, though I should note that the 'Sixth Sense' ending was ruined for me before I saw it, so I didn't experience the film in its purest form.

Kyle: the awesome. I think you were right in leaving it off your comic book list, since I think you stipulated that it had to be based on a comic book character or graphic novel. Agreed that this is best movie. Aside from the ending sequence (which I think I go on and on about in my entry), how great are some of the individual scenes in this? I'm thinking in particular of the scene where Willis is progressively benching more and more weight, while his son moves further and further into the backroom ("we can't ever tell your mother about this"), the train sequence, and the scene where Elijah chases after the guy with the gun, and falls down the stairs. Outstanding movie...such a downer that it's poor performance at the box office shut down the trilogy idea before it even got off the ground (though, given M. Night's career arc, that could be a blessing in disguise now--maybe David would've fought the pollen count in part two...)

Runners-up:

Best In Show: Yet another gem from Christopher Guest's mockumentary team. Hard to pick a funniest scene; I've always been partial to Fred Willard talking about how much he bench-presses, or the whole sequence when Parker Posey is trying to find her dog's Busy Bee toy. I'm not sure either is funnier than the running gag of Eugene Levy gradually realizing that his wife has slept with half the men east of the Mississippi. Weird item: my uncle HATES Christopher Guest's movies. He just thinks they're the dumbest things on the market. It's a good thing he's a Packers fan or else I'd assume we're not actually related.

Cast Away: Kind of a borderline addition given that the bookends of the film when he's back in the real world both fall a bit flat, but man, that 50-minute stretch when Hanks is on the deserted island is just spellbinding. I could've easily watched two hours of that alone. For all of Tom Hanks' acclaimed performances, this might have been his most impressive --- he makes the loss of a volleyball into a tear-jerking moment. That whole sequence on the island is just a masterpiece of acting, direction and sound effects editing. (In a totally unrelated note, I included Cast Away in a film class presentation on sound editing.) As much as I love LOST, I think a show about an actual plane crash on a normal deserted island could've been as equally fascinating even minus the time travel and immortals and walking dead. Funniest one-line criticism of Cast Away: "He spends all his time trying to get back to civilization just for Helen Hunt? Come on, they could've cast someone better than that." The preceding line was delivered by, of all people, former Jays catcher Gregg Zaun. He HATES Tom Hanks. Don't get him started. I'm dead serious.

High Fidelity: It's funny that this movie is going to suddenly be dated as hell in about 5-10 years when record stores no longer exist, but that aside, this is probably the finest of the John Cusack romantic comedy series. I hold HF in such high regard that it is one of the few film posters hanging on the wall of my old bedroom back in my parents' house in London. The others? Pulp Fiction and, somewhat inexplicably, the old Sarah Polley/Katie Holmes movie 'Go.' Okay, perhaps the wall poster thing isn't the greatest possible honor.

Waydowntown: Yay Canadian content! Waydowntown is the spiritual ancestor of that semi-crappy 'Billable Hours' show on Showcase, in the case that it it spoofs office life and has a main cast of Fab Filippo, a girl and another guy. The another guy, by the way, is Don McKellar, as part of his streak of starring in every Canadian-made film from 1999 to 2003. WDT is about a group of office workers who have an ongoing bet to see who can stay indoors the longest in Calgary's interconnected downtown area. As I write this, my current indoor streak has lasted....let's see...11 hours! Eat it, Fab Filippo!

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Well, after spending 1998 rapturously praising the Coens, I'm now forced to admit that I've never seen O Brother Where Art Thou. Dang, I'm in a tight spot. Also on the list is The Contender and Wonder Boys.

Kyle: Waydowntown...nice. A TMN staple of mine. Doesn't Filippo remind you of Dave Lee? I find the resemblance uncanny. However, if we're going for quirky CanCon starring Don McKellar, I think I'd have to go with Last Night--a small movie about an awfully big idea (the end of the world), though, admittedly, it came out in 1998. So, basically, I just wanted to brag about my film chops.

O Brother is great (though not enough, it seems, to be included on my list for this year. Ah, well). Wish I'd never seen The Contender...so let's just leave it at that. I'm with you re: your breakdown of Castaway--the stuff on the island is so interesting that everything else feels unnecessary. High Fidelity--which we caught on cable a couple of weeks back--still really holds up, though I'm mystified as to why they ditched London for Chicago (the original script maintained the original location, but was ditched for Cusack and co. version set in the U.S.). Disappointing...though given what ended up happening to Fever Pitch (the second time around), perhaps we should all be relieved that they screwed up HF so little.

Mark: See if you asked Dave which celeb he's most often compared to, he'd tell you it's Robert Downey Jr. That guy is like a chameleon. Unlike me, whose closest Hollywood lookalike is either Shrek or Christopher Lloyd in his Uncle Fester gear....Gotta believe the High Fidelity switch is just so Cusack could set another movie in his hometown and give him closer access to Cubs games.

2001.....Memento: The reverse timeline is a great storytelling gimmick, most notably used in Harold Pinter's play 'Betrayal' and in the backwards Seinfeld episode (titled, in fact, 'The Betrayal' as a shout-out to Pinter). The idea of a mystery where the protagonist has only short-term memory is a brilliant one. Put the two together, and you have arguably the best mystery/noir in movie history. This is an endlessly fascinating and brilliantly-constructed picture. It's the rare mystery that stands up to repeated viewings; in other mysteries, knowing the solution takes away some of the suspense, but Memento sidesteps that by making things so oblique (but in a satisfying way) that you'll be debating what you just saw long after the end credits. Bonus points to the DVD for making you answer a memory quiz before you can access the main menu.

Kyle: word. Though if you could frame your review as more of a direct attack on A Beautiful Mind, it would be appreciated. Agreed re: its rewatchability, which has a lot to do with its ambiguousness (I still don't think it's totally clear--though you may disagree--how, exactly, his wife dies). Currently ranked #28 on imdb.com's top 250, with the only more recent movie that's higher being The Dark Knight (#7)...so, yeah, not a bad stretch for Chris Nolan, eh?

Mark: My theory was always that Catherine Shelby committed suicide by having Leonard give her an intentional overdose, since he wouldn't remember giving her the dose a few minutes earlier. So Leonard's story was basically the real-life version of the Sammy Jenkis situation. Then again, there's also the whole alternate theory that Leonard actually knowingly killed her and isn't exactly 'faking' his condition, but is just really deep in denial about his actions.

Runners-up:

Amelie: It's been a few years since I've seen Amelie, so I sat down with it the other day to see if it could unseat Memento. In the end, I just couldn't say no to ol' Chris Nolan, but rest assured, Amelie would've been #1 in most other years on the list. Just an endlessly sweet, clever and funny story of a woman who subtly tries to bring joy to strangers and acquaintances. It's also strange, watching the movie today, and realizing that Travelocity totally ripped off their 'roaming gnome' campaign from this movie. Did Jean-Pierre Jeunet get royalties?

Moulin Rouge: There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who make absurdly declarative statements like 'there are two kinds of people in the world...' and those who don't. Wait, no, that's not my point....it's those adore Moulin Rouge, and those who think it's a piece of straight-up garbage. There doesn't appear to be any middle ground in this debate; an old film class of mine almost turned into a Jets vs. Sharks rumble when discussing MR's merits in a seminar. As you can tell from its placement on the list, I'm definitely in the love camp.

Ocean's Eleven: Kind of an upset pick over the likes of Black Hawk Down or Gosford Park, but Ocean's 11 is one of those movies that grows on you over time. I enjoyed it the theatre in 2001, but subsequent viewings on cable (Peachtree shows it roughly once a month) only reinforce what a clever, fun movie this is. By the way, NEVER watch the original Ocean's 11 with Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Dean Martin, etc. It is impossibly boring.

Zoolander: Just too many hilarious moments to recount, but I personally love the gas fight, the whole sequence with David Duchovny's hand model character and "Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people's lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?" It's funny, Zoolander was a huge bomb when it originally opened in theatres, but then it really took off on video due to word-of-mouth. The summer of 2002 is unofficially known in my extended circle of friends as the Summer Of Zoolander Quotes.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Never got around to watching Y Tu Mama Tambien, which is pretty wild given that I love Alfonso Cuaron's work.

Kyle: tip: if you do get around to watching Y Tu (and you really should), do not watch it with your mom and dad. Trust me on this one.

Confession time: I've never seen Zoolander from start to finish. I watched the first 30 minutes when it came out on video, and then shut it off. Since you've seen fit to put it in your top five, I hereby promise to watch it and report back/explain to you why you are wrong for including it.

I liked Amelie but weren't you at all bothered by the roundabout way the titular character goes about pursuing her man? I'll admit that, after a while, I was somewhat exasperated. Just go and tell him you love him, already! Does that make me unsentimental? I see. (Note: I also feel like this movie is responsible for that tedious --and, given that the movie is horribly bloated, I have to say: completely fucking unnecessary--sequence in Benjamin Button where we see all the things that needed to happen for Cate Blanchett to get hit by that car).

Mark: The idea was that Amelie was a very withdrawn and shy person, which is why she engages in all these little escapades rather than helping people directly. Or, maybe, she just picked up on the fact that this guy was pretty odd himself, and he'd probably appreciate the chase (to a point).

2002.....Talk To Her: Maybe the best example I can use to describe the effect of Pedro Almodovar's best film is that the lead male character rapes (there's no other way to describe it) the comatose lead female character, and yet you don't blame him for it. Almodovar deals with love and obsession in such a --- seems like an odd word for it, but it fits --- sweet way that it carries you through the more disturbing and surreal aspects of the movie. I think a big part of TTH's allure is the fact that it's in Spanish. Everything sounds better in Spanish. I could describe my bowel movements to you in Spanish and it would still sound like poetry. Mi mierda es bueno!

Kyle: Thought you might pick this. Great, great, completely-and-uncontrovertibly-fucked-up movie. Impressive selection.

Runners-up:

Adaptation.: Another brilliantly original idea from Charlie Kaufman, as he made a movie out of his frustrations at turning Susan Orlean's "Orchid Thief" novel into a movie. I'm sure that somewhere, Susan Orlean is still wondering what the hell happened, especially given that Meryl Streep ends up playing her as an adulterous criminal. The whole film is one long mediation and semi-satire of the writing process, culminating in the hilarious ending sequence that actually disappointed me before I suddenly realized the joke. The fact that Donald Kaufman was actually given co-writer credit and thus became the first fictitious person nominated for an Oscar is the perfect real-life punchline. And man, Nick Cage. As much as Nicolas Cage's acting is kind of a running joke, he is just phenomenal given the right role.

The Bourne Identity: Too bad that Doug Liman is apparently a David O. Russell-caliber pain in the ass, since otherwise he might still be directing the Bourne franchise rather than merely serving as a producer. It seems like everyone's favourite Bourne movie is either Identity or Ultimatum, and I think I'm an Identity guy. The action scenes are tight as hell, and Bourne's amnesia is an actual plot point, not the momentary hindrance it becomes in the later films. The chemistry between Damon and Franka Potente is so good that, while she's missed in the latter two films, you totally buy into Bourne's quest for revenge and frankly are a little pissed off yourself. C'mon man, you don't go after Lola!

Catch Me If You Can: A great con man movie from Messrs. Spielberg, DiCaprio and Hanks that avoids the usual pitfalls of con man movies by having the conner on the run for most of the film, thus keeping the plot from becoming a predictable web of double-crosses. The opening credits were the best I've seen of their kind until the Watchmen movie came out last spring.

Minority Report: I almost feel like Spielberg was so frustrated by "A.I." the previous year that he hunkered down and re-doubled his efforts at making a truly great sci-fi thriller. Mission accomplished. Between this and Catch Me If You Can, 2002 was a banner year for Spielberg, and yet it was only the second-best two-movie year of his career (1993 had Jurassic Park and Schindler's List). This just in, Senor Spielbergo's unionized American equivalent is a pretty good director.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: The Pianist, About A Boy, Spirited Away, 8 Mile and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Man, at least you can't accuse me of being biased against a certain genre of film, since that's a pretty damn diverse quintet right there.

Kyle: but here's my knock against Adaptation: the joke isn't that funny. And (at least for me) knowing it doesn't improve the third act for me. I will say this, though: the scene where Charlie decides to include himself in the story and then narrates into the dictatophone that his character will narrate the following into the dictaphone is simply spectacular. But, beyond the literary recursive loop stuff, I was underwhelmed.

Jesus, good call with Minority Report. If I'd remembered, I'd likely have included it. Intrigued as to whether you're happy with the Bourne trilogy as it stands or would have preferred Liman doing all three at once (a la LOTR)...the two statements aren't mutually exclusive, mind you. Also, while Liman's career seems to have gone off the rails a bit (Jumper...I don't think I need to elaborate), I'd put the first three studio movies he's directed--Swingers, Go, and The Bourne Identity--up against pretty much anyone else's first three. (Spielberg, who immediately springs to mind, directed something called The Sugarland Express--which I believe was some sort of hovercraft...--in between the underrated Duel and Jaws).

Mark: I often roll my eyes at movies where things are really interesting for the first three-quarters, and then it just devolves into a shootout. So to actually have that turned into a gag really amused me. Minority Report is an almost-forgotten movie today, which is surprising to me. I have issues with Cruise as an actor, but more often than not, the man picks great projects. I'm pretty pleased with Greengrass helming the Bourne series given how good the third one was, though I had the exact opposite feeling after Supremacy. And come on, you're citing Doug Liman as the seminal 'best first three films ever' director? Just from guys we've covered in this list alone, you've got Tarantino, Shyamalan, Nolan, Frears, Zemeckis, Guest, Payne, Mendes, PT Anderson...the list goes on and on.

Kyle: Damn you, Shuk! First you clobber me with that Munich comeback...and now this. I said that Liman's in the conversation, not definitely #1. But now I'm a bit defensive, so: (movie that hurts them in this argument in parenthesis): Tarantino (Four Rooms or Jackie Brown, depending on how you want to score this); M. Night (Signs is only ok); Nolan (wasn't blown away by Following or--especially--Insomnia, which is the one Chris Nolan film I think I actually dislike); Frears (assuming we start with Dangerous Liasons, #2 is The Grifters--which was great--and #3 is Hero--which, decidedly, was not); Zemeckis (Romancing the Stone, BTTF, Who Framed Roger Rabbit--ok, that's a solid pick); Guest (this one is kind of stunning: Guffman, Almost Heroes, then Best in Show. The hell? He directed Almost Heroes? Talk about your ultimate shit sandwich. Guest is out.); Payne (not a fan of Citizen Ruth); Mendes (American Beauty, Road to Perdition, and Jarhead--solid); Anderson (retroactively, everyone seems to want to pretend that Hard Eight is a gem, but, no, I've seen it and it's a snooze. If that's too obscure, #3 becomes Punch-Drunk Love, which would make P.T. eligible.)

So...of the nine you list, Liman clearly outclasses seven of them, plays one to a draw (Zemeckis...only because
RTS is clearly the weak link), and--arguably--loses to one (Mendes). So...I stand by my original position.

2003.....Love Actually: I kind of glossed over 'Notting Hill' in my 1999 entry, so let's give full props to the great Richard Curtis here in 2003. Here's the guy who was behind Mr. Bean, Blackadder, the Vicar of Dibley, Four Weddings And A Funeral, Notting Hill and (in the case of Love Actually), pretty much the ultimate in multi-layered romances. This one covers pretty much all ends of the relationship spectrum, from schoolyard crushes and teenage lust to broken marriages and a, um, 'nicer' version of the Clinton-Lewinsky affair. It's the rare multiple-storyline film that can make every plotline interesting, but LA does just that, and is also able to move effortlessly from the harrowing Emma Thompson/The Great Alan Rickman story to the cute subplot about the sex actors. It's also of note that Bill Nighy basically steals the whole movie as the washed-up rock star. Fellows, if you're looking for a good date movie to rent, 'Love Actually' is the perfect choice. Not only will you enjoy the film yourself, but then it'll be your pick for a rental next, so you can get away with picking, say, Predator.

Kyle: couldn't agree more. Was late to this film (2006), but it's now one of my favorites.

Runners-up:

Bad Santa: Pretty much the definition of a dark comedy. It's so odd and off-kilter that first you laugh at just how weird it is, and then it just gets even funnier as you get increasingly sucked into the film's strange world. Pretty much any interaction between Billy Bob and the fat kid (Thurman) is gold, as is Billy Bob's midget sidekick/adversary.

Kill Bill (Volume One): I wasn't sure of what I was going to do with Kill Bill, given that the movie was split over two years but I absolutely wanted to make sure it got on the list somewhere. Vol. 1 is probably the stronger of the two halves, and since Kill Bill would've been released in 2003 anyway had it been just one epic film, it goes into the 2003 slot. So, yeah, what else is there to say other than that KB1 is one of the best action movies ever made? The second installment is more talky, but full of that Tarantino dialogue I love so much and it was still very worthwhile. How is it possible that Tarantino hasn't released a single-film version of this yet? I'd snap up that DVD in a second.

Old School: Tough pick over the equally funny Shanghai Knights, the crazy action of Ong-Bak and the mindfuck that is The Shape Of Things (god, is Rachel Weisz ever a bitch in that movie), but Old School gets the nod perhaps due to historical significance. It was Will Ferrell's first big lead, plus it resurrected Vince Vaughn's career, and it gave everyone in the world named Frank the easy 'Tank' nickname. Have you ever noticed the cavalcade of 00's TV stars that make up the supporting cast? Luke Wilson is pursuing Meredith Grey, he sleeps with Kim Bauer, his boss is John Locke, his nemesis is Ari Gold and his two buddies are married to Ari's wife and the Queen of Queens, respectively. I guess you could even argue that Ferrell himself was a TV star at the time, given that 'Old School' was his first big project after leaving SNL.

21 Grams: I'm told that this movie is very reminiscent (some might even say a copy) of Inarritu's previous film, Amores Perros, in terms of structure and overall tone. But, I've never seen Amores Perros, so 21 Grams stands out in my mind, at least, as a really well-made character study of how a car accident impacts the lives of the main characters. You get typically great work from Penn, Watts, Del Toro and Leo and the intricate flashback/flash-forward structure gives the story more weight than it probably could've achieved just in a straight-forward manner. Not to be confused with the family comedy '21 Brams,' when Bram accidentally makes 20 clones of himself while Sharon, Lois and the Elephant try to figure out which one is the original. Sean Penn is actually in that one too, starring as the Elephant.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: House Of Sand And Fog, City of God, The Cooler, The Station Agent. HOSAF is probably the most glaring omission, given that it stars one of my bald idols Ben Kingsley and noted Jack Bauer adversary Shohreh Aghdashloo.

Kyle: go with HOSAF if you feel like you haven't been curled up in a ball and crying for nine consecutive hours nearly enough this year (though it is good). Hey, hey, City of God! Me too! Currently 17th on the top 250--this feels worthy of us actually getting together to watch it.

As it happens, Old School was on Peachtree last Thursday at midnight, so I watched it (while, ostensibly, studying for the bar exam). Still pretty damn funny ("honey, do you think KFC's still open?" still slays me). And since I watched this basically every night in the summer of '03 (while, ostensibly, writing my M.A. thesis...noticing a trend?) let me add two to the list: Craig Kilborn as Meredith's smarmy boyfriend, and Sarah Shahi (as Perry Reeves' friend)--can't believe you missed that last one...didn't she eye fuck you in traffic once?

Haven't seen Bad Santa and, oddly, the DVD of 21 Grams we rented from Blockbuster conked out with about 25 minutes to go, so I still haven't seen the ending (note: this was 3+ years ago, so perhaps I should get on the ball...). KB1 is pretty sweet, but, I have to say, I intensely disliked the second one. I would think that stringing the two together would only really serve to underscore how dull part two is.

Mark: Oh man, I forgot about Shahi and my (imagined) flirtation with her doppelganger on Lawrence Ave (post about it is here). I think a combined Kill Bill would be structured quite differently. I could see Tarantino splitting up the 'quiet kills' and 'ultra-crazy-action kills' a bit more evenly. Maybe, in order, the Bride would've gone Vernita, Budd, Elle, O-Ren and then finally Bill still at the end. And we've got to be the only two people in the world who are planning a 'City of God' party. I'll bring the soda pop! You bring the chips! Have Carrie bring the Kleenex for when we're all weeping at the abject poverty!

Kyle's Picks

1998: Rushmore: Such a well-written movie, which, like all good comedies, is funny and has a heart. There really isn't enough to be said about Bill Murray's work here, so I won't really say anything at all. I think my favorite part about Rushmore is that, based on the last scene (Max dancing with Ms. Cross with a creepy glean in his eye), I believer we're supposed to think that Max is insane (or rapidly approaching insanity) and that this is all a dark fantasy. In other words, I still think he thinks he's going to get the girl. I love that, for some reason.

On another note, is there anything funnier than Max receiving the following letter from 11-year old Dirk Callohan (real name: Mason Gamble, aka the kid who, five years earlier, played the lead role in the big-screen version of Dennis the Menace), which is then read, via voice over, by Dirk: "Dear Max, I am sorry to say that I have secretly found out that Mr. Blume is having an affair with Miss Cross. My first suspicions came when I saw them Frenching in front of our house. And then I knew for sure when they went skinny dipping in Mr. Blume's swimming pool, giving each other handjobs while you were taking a nap on the front porch." Still makes me laugh.

Mark: Interesting selection, and I have to admit, it wasn't on my radar at all. I'm more of an admirer of Wes Anderson's films than I am an actual fan. They have some great moments (the aforementioned letter from Dirk, plus Murray slapping his son from the front seat of his car, and the 'O.R. scrubs' joke that I try to use as often as possible) but overall, I dunno, there's just something missing. There is literally no reason why this should be so....deadpan quirky humor is right up my alley.

Kyle: wow...really? I'd definitely recommend you watch it again. It doesn't get much better than the opening montage of all of Max's extracurricular activities...

Other nominees...

The Big Lebowski: As recently as two months ago, this would've been my pick for '98, but I watched this with Carrie and Ann in Ireland and...it wasn't quite as good as I remembered. Don't get me wrong, it's still terrific (I'm especially fond of Phillip Seymour Hoffman's blink-and-you'll-miss-it role in the film), but rather more aimless than I recalled. Specifically, I'm going to call out the extended bowling fantasy sequence and anything involving Julianne Moore. Underrated joke: that the Dude was one of the co-authors of the Port Huron Statement.

The Wedding Singer: currently has a 6.8 on imdb.com, which is unfathomable to me. Absolutely everything works in this movie, right down to the kick-ass soundtrack (including the tremendously underrated "Somebody Kill Me"). Sandler and Barrymore have never been better--unfortunately, this movie's success no doubt led to the rather poor Fifty First Dates being made. Screw it, it was worth it. Also: Matthew Glave (Glenn Ghulia), I officially welcome you to the Bad Movie Boyfriend Hall of Fame.

American History X: Still not totally over the fact that Derek (Ed Norton)'s Nazi propaganda-spewing father in the movie was played by the dad from Boy Meets World. That shook me to my core. This movie, ultimately, is so dark, that I have my doubts it would even be greenlit by a studio today.

Saving Private Ryan:
admittedly, the plot here would be considered thin for a short film entry, let alone a 3-hour epic, but, visually, it's so stunning (notably the first thirty minutes) that I'm willing to forgive it. Fun fact: when I went to see this in the theatre, I couldn't quite make out what Hanks says to Damon as he (Hanks) is dying and thought, for the two or so hours after the movie ended, that the line was "Earnest," only to be publicly and brutally corrected by Eric Mayr (He [incredulous]: "Earn this, Kyle. Earn this. You thought his dying advice was for Private Ryan to live a serious life?"). This may or may not have involved tears.

There's Something About Mary: I'm adamant this should've been nominated for Best Picture. No clue what led the Academy to conclude, mid-70s it would seem, that including comedies in the mix would discredit the process. It's a bunch of bullshit. Watched this not too long ago on cable, and it holds up surprisingly well, particularly anything involving Matt Dillon.

Rounders: I added this after the fact--and technically it's my sixth pick--but it's an all-time "great movie to watch in its entirety when it airs at 2 a.m."

Movie from 1998 that I really should've seen by now: Gods and Monsters

Mark: So in your alternate version of Saving Private Ryan, Ryan goes back in time to become Oscar Wilde and write 'The Importance Of Being Earnest'? (rim shot) (alternate joke was "...goes on to father Jim Varney?")....Never seen AHX, should add it to my list.....I think the only reason the Academy didn't nominate 'Mary' is because they just knew that Billy Crystal would promptly walk on-stage with the semen-gel haircut, and the younger Academy members didn't want to face the awkwardness of explaining the joke to their grandparents....The fact that Lebowski ends up being completely pointless is the point, so to speak. And oh man, you didn't enjoy the Maude Lebowski experience? Julianne Moore's faux-Hepburn voice just killed me, as did that scene in her apartment with her giggly hipster friend. ("Who the fuck IS this guy?!")

Kyle: was that what Moore was going for? Totally over my head. At least that explains the naked zip line scene. Wait a minute--no, it doesn't. Agree completely with the "who the fuck IS this guy" bit--Bridges' line reading is absolutely perfect there.

*1999: The Matrix: this is so tough, since I'm certain I get more out of my #2 choice (Election) now, and the trilogy ended up being so shit in the end, but, if I'm being truthful, I don't think I was ever as blown away by a movie the first time I saw it as I was by The Matrix. Just out and out dazzled by it....and this wasn't even in the theatres. Yes, somehow I managed not to watch this movie until the day it came out on DVD. Still not sure how. Anyway, I still think that at handful of scenes--Neo and Morpheus fighting in the simulator; the rooftop sequence involving the helicopter, Neo and Trinity being fired upon, and Morpheus's extraction; and Neo and Smith fighting in the subway station--remain the gold standard for special effects. Not sure whether to be impressed with the movie...or totally dismayed with Hollywood. Very curious to see what the next generation will think of this film.

Mark: Apparently I was the only person in the world who wasn't blown away by the Matrix. Thought it was a good movie, have seen it a bunch of times, and even enjoyed the first sequel. But overall, it didn't quite turn the corner from good to great. The problem might stem from the fact that I originally saw it at that old theatre on Dundas Street in London that they tore down a few years ago, and the lousy sound system made large chunks of dialogue incoherent. Because really, what is the Matrix without being able to hear Keanu's awesome line readings? Fun fact: apparently the first choice for the role of Neo was Will Smith.

Kyle: Will Smith, eh? That would've been shit cool. Plus, given the timing, it would have saved the world from both Wild, Wild West and The Legend of Bagger Vance. Everybody wins! Um...except for Keanu, who would almost surely be dead by now in this alternate universe...

Other nominees....

Magnolia: "frogs are falling from the sky." P.T. Anderson's best movie. Provocative enough for you?

Election: in part two of our team up, I believe I called Jon Favreau's Mikey (from Swingers) out as possibly the biggest loser in film history. Well, having thought about it, I think that Matthew Broderick's Jim McCallister here matches Mikey cringe-for-cringe. Consider: decides to have an affair with his wife's best friend; rents out a seedy hotel room and, in an unfortunate turn, washes his genitals in the bathroom sink; his wife's best friend stands him up; he goes to her house, only to get stung by a bee on his eyelid; his potential mistress, overcome with guilt, confesses to his wife, who promptly kicks him out of the house (he ends up with neither of them); gets caught rigging the election; gets fired; becomes a national punchline; runs into the kid in charge of counting the votes later on, only to have him spit on his car; his comically small apartment in NYC; sees Tracy when he's in D.C., and throws a milkshake at her limo, then scurries away. I'm telling you: he's a loser for the ages.

Fight Club: hated it the first time, now I think it's a modern classic.

Toy Story II: probably just ever so slightly worse than the original, but absolutely belongs in the conversation of "best sequel ever" (off the top of my head, my top ten, in order: Godfather II, The Road Warrior, Toy Story II, The Dark Knight, Superman II, The French Connection II, X2, The Two Towers, T2, The Empire Strikes Back).

The Insider: Russell Crowe has never been (and will never be) better than he is here as schluby Jeffrey Wigand. He's so good here that I can forgive Pacino for Pacinoing it up for two hours (or maybe he actually was good in this...I really must watch this again). A hell of a movie, my favorite Mann film, and, for whatever reason, among the most overlooked films of the past twenty years--can't even begin to speculate why.

The Sixth Sense: actually haven't seen this from start to finish in probably eight years--but I'm guessing it still holds up well. Since they're both involved (to a varying degree) with this film, here's a question: whose career went off the rails faster, M. Night Shyamalan or Mischa Barton? I think--in a bit of an upset--it's M. Night. Pretty sure I would've lost this bet five years ago, when Barton was almost single-handedly murdering The O.C.

The Iron Giant: one of the two or three movies that consistently makes me cry--surprisingly effective for a n animated movie.

October Sky:
relatively standard coming-of-age tale that is raised to another level by the work of Chris Cooper and Jake Gylenhaal. Plus the scenes where Jake has to work in the mines are legitimately soul-crushing. I had to look this up, but this was directed by Joe Johnston, who took all the goodwill he earned from this movie...and then took a giant dump on his career--helming Jurassic Park 3 and something called Hidalgo--yet has somehow landed the plum gig of directing the upcoming Captain America movie. Really?? Was Brett Ratner not available?

Varsity Blues: such a guilty pleasure. I think, since this movie has come out on DVD, I've rented it once a year. $5 a year over nine years adds up to $45, so, basically, I could've bought it twice by now. No matter, it's tradition. Roughly a year ago, I named this my 8th favorite sports movie of all-time...and, if anything, it's moved up slightly (be less boring, director's cut of The Natural!). Full of first-rate chill scenes, which is really all I ask for.

Movie from 1999 that I really should've seen by now: The Straight Story

Mark: I'm impressed that we both went to a 10-movie list for 1999 and yet only had three common films to each list. 1999 was indeed a great year. M. Night totally went further off the rails since he was actually on them to begin with; three good-to-great movies in four years trumps being the fourth or fifth-hottest chick on a teen drama.....Apparently the rule at Marvel is that they're only allowed to pick good directors for one out of every five franchises. Singer, Raimi and now Favreau have filled all the good spots, so we won't see a good choice for a Marvel project until 2014, when the Coen Brothers direct the Ant-Man movie.....Ok, quick rundown. Agreed with Magnolia, Insider and Election. Have never seen Iron Giant, Toy Story II, October Sky or Varsity Blues (yikes, long list). Liked Sixth Sense but didn't love it. And I HATED Fight Club. Just did not care for it at all. That would be my pick as the most overrated movie of the decade.

Kyle: really thought I'd goad you into a big debate about the best sequels ever. Since you didn't touch it, I can safely assume that you agree with me completely. Huzzah!

2000*: Memento: my pick for movie of the decade. It's basically perfect. Top shelf performances by Pearce and Joey Pants. Tight editing. Genius writing. Unsettling score. Thrilling throughout...and a (non-?)payoff that kept people talking about the movie hours after leaving the cinema. You can't ask for much more. Also, it spawned "The Betrayal," a top ten all-time Seinfeld episode.

I'm feeling like we're destined for another Usual Suspects-type debate here (special once, ordinary every time thereafter, thus rendering the initial viewing less special), so allow me to go on the record here. To all those that say this movie would be pedestrian if it ran in chronological order, I submit: (1) that's not the fucking point...and it's a total dickish way to approach film criticism (watch me try it: "Rashomon wouldn't be worth all the hype if all the witnesses viewed the crime the same way" [dusts off hands triumphantly]); and (2) it was presented in reverse for a reason: mainly, it puts us on equal footing with Leonard, which is deeply unsettling for the viewer. Rant over...except to say: I've probably seen this movie twenty times and never fail to come away from it totally in awe.

Oh, and, by the way, this film wasn't nominated for Best Picture. Gosford Park (which beat it out for Best Original Screenplay like I'm so fucking sure people will be talking about how marvelous Gosford Park was in 2030) and A Beautiful Mind (your winner, ladies and gentlemen) were. Coming up on ten years and...yup, still terribly bitter.

(* = note the discrepancy with Memento, as Shuk awarded it in 2001 (the year in which it was eligible for Oscar nominations. Since it went into limited release on December 15, 2000, I made it my 2000 pick, since I wanted to single-out In The Bedroom in '01. At any rate, if Memento were ineligible, Unbreakable would've been my pick, so it doesn't really affect the list).

Mark: Hey, I liked Gosford Park. Direct all of your ire towards Beautiful Mind, please and thank you. And I kind of cover the 'seeing the ending hurts subsequent viewings' argument in my own list, but there are so many ways to interpret the story of Memento that the ending doesn't take away from the rest of the film if you see it again and again. Memento's ending doesn't invalidate the rest of story, whereas Usual Suspects' ending does. But, in summation, yeah, Memento is fucking great.

Kyle: it's not that GP is bad (I actually kind of enjoyed it at the time), just completely unmemorable.

Other nominees.....

Unbreakable: man, I'm kind of gutted that this came out the same year as Memento, since both are on my top ten all-time list. It doesn't get much better than nineteen of the last twenty minutes of this movie (I'm conspicuously leaving out the very last minute, which breaks one of my cardinal movie rules: don't drop in the 'freeze frame with a subtitle describing the characters' future' for fictional characters--I think only Animal House and, in a bit of an upset, The Girl Next Door have pulled this off successfully). Also: how fucking phenomenal is this soundtrack? James Newton Howard, you are a genius.

Billy Elliot: Any movie that opens with T-Rex's "Bang a Gong" has already engendered a lot of goodwill with me, so it's probably not surprise that I think this is a wonderful, wonderful film (I'm dying to see the musical--do you happen to have $385 that you're not using at the moment? $770, actually, since Carrie will no doubt feel left out). I can't help but feel that Jamie Bell's career has been a massive letdown since this came out (though this could still be lingering bitterness from Jumper--Jesus Christ, what a fucking disaster that was). Also, what the hell happened to the actor that played Billy's dad (Gary Lewis)? He was terrific here?

Best in Show: earns its place here just on the Fred Willard parts: "Excuse me if this off the subject a little bit, but just take a guess at how much I can bench press. Come on, what do you think? Take a guess. 315 pounds, at the top of my game, maxing out at 500!"; "Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?"; "If you put them in a race, who would come in first? You know if you had a little jockey on them, going like this..."; "And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten." And that doesn't include his bits about dressing a dog up like Sherlock Holmes...or the one about whether foreign dogs bark with an accent. Not that the rest isn't pure gold either (I'm especially fond of the running gag with Catherine O'Hara's character, where it's apparent that she's slept with virtually every able-bodied man on the Eastern seaboard).

Requiem for a Dream: just a devastating film experience. Devastating. If you're not slowly rocking yourself back and forth in a near-catatonic state for the thirty minutes immediately following your first viewing of this film, I humbly suggest that you weren't watching it properly (perhaps it was on tape?). Unrelentingly bleak and unbelievably good. If you've seen it: of the four, which storyline do you feel is the saddest? (If you haven't, I'll end up answering it myself.)

Initially, I also had: Almost Famous, Traffic, and Gladiator here, but, aside from placing me in the embarrassing situation of using two 5+ exemptions in a row, I also came to the realization that, as great as those three movies are (ok, maybe 2.5 with Traffic), they're not quite on the same level as the five above.

Movie from 2000 that I really should've seen by now: Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Mark: Crouching Tiger is awesome. I really wanted to find a place for it on my list, but just couldn't pull the trigger....Saddest story in Requiem, eh? Tough call. I'd go with Marlon Wayans, just because it had the added real-life tragedy of proving that Marlon Wayans could actually act, and then relegating him to Scary Movie bullshit for the rest of his career....I love that we both cited the Willard bench-press line AND a geography-related way of describing Catherine O'Hara's character's sluttiness. Great mind think alike....Never seen Billy Elliot due to these things between my legs called testicles. (And this is coming from a guy who picked The Dresser as the best movie of 1983)....Huh, neither of us picked Almost Famous OR Traffic. Surprising.

Kyle: hmmm...I feel like when I asked that RFAD question, I actually had an answer in mind, but now I honestly can't remember. Hold on. OK, I'd say that it pretty much has to be Ellen Burstyn, since she's too far gone at the end for the viewer to hold out any semblance of hope for her making a recovery (brilliantly conveyed by her two friends positively bawling on the bench in front of the mental institution). That said, you could make a pretty convincing case for Jennifer Connelly. The way she cradles that bag of heroin (is that what the kids are calling it these days? Surely not. I must confess--despite my repeated viewings of The Shield--I'm not all that up on my drug slang.) suggests that she will continue to things as depraved (if not more, if such a thing is imaginable) as the horrifying ass-to-ass sequence, so long as she gets her fix. Her obliviousness (or, perhaps more acurately: her singular focus) is chilling.

2001: In The Bedroom: This may surprise you, but I think this is one of the finest movies of the entire decade, and, almost assuredly, the most underrated flick of the past ten years. I defy you to find a film where the five main performances--Tom Wilkinson (officially my favorite actor at this stage, hammy performance in Batman Begins aside), Sissy Spacek, Nick Stahl (unfairly maligned for his work in Terminator 3), Marisa Tomei, and William Mapother (Ethan!)--are stronger than the work presented here.

What I really like about the film (SPOILER WARNING--skip this paragraph if you haven't seen the film), and what keeps me coming back to it year after year, is that it's a relatively simple movie that absolutely nails all the minor details (Spacek slapping Tomei being the one glaring exception, but I'm willing to forgive it). Note how Todd Fields wisely omits the scene where Wilkinson has to tell his wife that they're son has been murdered by his (the son's) girlfriend's psychotic ex-husband (the movie goes right from him about to tell her to the post-funeral gathering). Why? Because it's a deeply private moment, and having us watch it would be unseamly. Note how Wilkinson doesn't scream at the heavens as a result of this, but rather (far more believably) simply becomes dead inside. Everything that once brought him pleasure has become tainted in an instant. Note Wilkinson and Spacek's mounting rage (in tandem with a growing sense of helplessness) as they realize their son's murderer may get off on a technicality. Note how Wilkinson, as his plot unfolds, drives around at night, listening to the midnight re-air of the Red Sox game on the radio. It's all so beautifully executed.

I'll readily admit that this is a quiet film, but it's also a wonderful one. How Wilkinson didn't snag a Best Actor statue here (Denzel won for his ridiculously over the top turn in the thoroughly mediocre Training Day) continues to mystify me.

Mark: Outstanding pick. You're right about Wilkinson getting jobbed out of the Oscar. I think Denzel was maybe the fourth or fifth best performance that year, but was 'owed' one. Dammit Academy, wouldn't it be easier to just get it right the first time?

Other nominees...

The Royal Tenenbaums: This would win most other years (1998 and 2003, certainly), and is notable for being Wes Anderson's last really good movie (though I haven't seen The Darjeeling Limited, my sense is my opinion wouldn't differ if I had). What I enjoyed here was the interplay between the funny (everything with Bill Murray; everything with Pagoda; Gene Hackman and Danny Glover interacting; Ben Stiller training his kids in case of emergency; Owen Wilson's peyote addiction; Richie's meltdown during the U.S. Open) and the serious (Richie's suicide attempt--which comes out of nowhere and is seriously gut-wrenching; the profoundly sad Margot Tenenbaum; the fact, all jokes aside, Royal has wasted his life away). In fairness, in the lesser hands, this movie would be an absolute mess, but Anderson makes it work.

A special shout-out to the scene where Stiller's Chas moves back home and sleeps in the same room as his kids. If memory serves, his sons sleep in a single bed, and he--ever the protective parent--sleeps on the floor next to them. But, just as they're about to fall asleep, one of his kids crawls out of bed and curls up next to his dad on the floor. It's all done in one overhead shot...and I continue to find that moment deeply moving.

Ocean's Eleven: a terrific film that never fails to reel me in when it's on Bravo at 3 in the morning. Shame they pissed that goodwill away with an atrocious sequel, and an only okay third outing.

Mulholland Drive: my favorite David Lynch film...by a wide margin. Agreed, it makes no sense. Agreed, it's too weird by half. Agreed, you shouldn't have to consult outside sources to understand a movie (see here), but goddamn if this movie doesn't have a fever dream quality to it that makes it compulsively watchable. Oh, and Naomi Watts gives the single best performance by an actress I've ever seen. (If you think I'm pissed about Denzel beating out Wilkinson for ITB, you should see me whenever I'm reminded that Halle Berry's intensively uncomfortable turn in Monster's Ball beat out Watts. I'm sure it raises my blood pressure 30 points on the spot. Even writing about it here is making me agitated. DAMMIT.)

Moulin Rouge: Before I went to see this, I was warned by several different people that this film was flat-out strange...but, being a snobby cinephile, I brushed off this criticism, only to be so alarmed by the first fifteen minutes that I contemplated leaving the theatre. Of course, I ended up staying, and I'm glad I did, since this is actually a fantastic film.

Donnie Darko: Wow...I'd put these five films up against any other year's top five. DD is, admittedly, not for everyone (and, by all accounts, is one of those rare movies that is actually worse if you watch the Director's Cut), but I really dig it. Time travel, ominous tone throughout, plus a kick-ass 80s soundtrack? I retract my earlier statement: what's not to like here? This movie should have a wider following.

Movie from 2001 that I really should've seen by now: Waking Life, though I often lie and say that I have.

Mark: You're not the first one to have that complaint about the opening of Moulin Rouge. I think that was Luhrmann's way of saying, "Ok, fuck it, let's just throw people into the deep end and see if they can swim or not." There's definitely an adjustment period....I actually went out and rented Mulholland Drive a few weeks ago in preparation for your list, since I'd never seen and knew you'd give it a high ranking. Honestly, up though the love scene, it's terrific, but it doesn't just go off the rails, it salts the earth so no other rails can grow behind it afterwards. You can definitely tell the point where Lynch was realized he had to tack on an ending since the film wasn't going to be picked up as a TV series (his original intent). And boy, Watts gives the best performance EVER? That's a big statement to make....You're not missing much with Waking Life. I'm not sure if anyone has ever actually seen it. You don't really need to, frankly...."Did you just call me Coltrane?" "No. (beat) But if I did...."

Kyle: lol...love the Tenenbaums exchange. As for Mulholland Drive, I never said it was perfect (in fact, I went out of my way to highlight how perfect it isn't), but it hooks me every time. And as for the Naomi Watts thing...well, I mean, give me a better example. My rationale (and here's where I'm going to look like a total idiot): I haven't been especially blown away by many female performances in my years of watching movies. For instance, pretty much any performance by an actress prior to, say, 1965 is pretty much dead to me. I mean, I respect Katherine Hepburn and all, but performances from that era are, on the whole, way too (for want of a better term) affected for me to take totally seriously. And a lot of the stuff that people fall all over themselves lavish praise upon (Berry in Monster's Ball, Angelina in Changeling, Bening in American Beauty) have been way too over-the-top. So, aside from Watts in MD, I can only think of a handful of performances where I left the theatre thinking "goddamn, that was excellent": Sissy Spacek in In The Bedroom, Kate Winslet in Little Children, Naomi Watts in King Kong, Faye Dunaway in Bonnie and Clyde, Anne Bancroft in The Graduate, Laura Linney in You Can Count On Me, and Kim Novak in Vertigo. That's it. That's the list.

2002: 28 Days Later: it's neck-and-neck between this and The Bourne Identity for my pick for 2002, but 28DL gets it by virtue of the last twenty minutes, where Jim (Cillian Murphy) goes on a jaw-dropping rampage as the music swells. Probably one of my five favorite film sequences ever. Not sure why, but many people merely like (as opposed to love) this film, going so far as to say that the sequel--the, in my opinion, absolutely atrocious 28 Weeks Later--is basically on par with it. I continue to find this rather strange, as I feel like 28 Days Later is modern horror classic, and remains, for me, Danny Boyle's best film. Cue controversy.

Mark: Count me in the 'like' category and I haven't even seen the sequel. Maybe it's time for a second viewing, preferably in my apartment with the lights out.

Other nominees...

The Bourne Identity: ...though this movie is seriously awesome, too. As much as I liked #3, this is still the best in the series. My two favorite things about the movie: (1) on the DVD's audio commentary, director Doug Liman pointed out that, when a regular person is placed in a stressful situation, their immediate reaction is to panic, so he thought it would be cool that, when something stressful happened to Jason Bourne, he would calm right down and think his way out of problems. The best example of this is Bourne pulling the map of the Swiss bank off the wall while trying to escape, and then stealing the downed security guard's walkie-talkie so he can listen in on the people trying to track him down. Little things, sure, but they really make the movie for me. (2) this monologue: "I can tell you the license plate numbers of all six cars outside. I can tell you that our waitress is left-handed and the guy sitting up at the counter weighs two hundred fifteen pounds and knows how to handle himself. I know the best place to look for a gun is the cab of the gray truck outside, and at this altitude, I can run flat out for a half mile before my hands start shaking. Now why would I know that? How can I know that and not know who I am?" Awesome.

Road to Perdition:
as far as I'm concerned, this is better than American Beauty, yet there appears to be a tacit agreement among moviegoers to pretend as if this film never existed. This is a beautifully shot movie, with strong performances across the board (with Newman and Hanks both, impressively, playing against type), a gut-punch of an ending, and a final line ("he was my father") that is strangely haunting. Are you a fan, Shuk? Please restore my faith in humanity.

Chicago:
I so wanted to despise this movie, but it won me over (except for Richard Gere's song, which is hide-your-eyes-cover-your-ears terrible). I'm rather curious to see if this was a one-time thing for director Rob Marshall--I don't recall anyone being blown away by Memoirs of a Geisha--or if he can recapture the magic with Nine, the trailer for which is pretty damn intriguing.

The Two Towers: what is probably everyone's least favorite of the trilogy is actually my favorite, mostly because the Helm's Deep battle--which, I swear, takes up two-thirds of the movie...is it possible TTT is a one-act movie?--is so totally kickass. I liked the thing with the trees, too.

Spellbound: the best documentary ever made about the Scripps Howard Spelling Bee. What's that? It's the only one? Oh. What I like about Spellbound is that it provides you with kids to root for (Nupur and April) and kids to root against (Neil, who, through no fault of his own, has a major competitive advantage thanks to his rich parents' uncomfortable fixation with the Bee and Harry, who's just fucking weird). See also: Nation, Kid. What I'm still desperate to know is how many kids the producers followed initially in order to be reasonably confident that they'd have the winner (which they ultimately did). 15 kids? 30? 50? Is there a nine-hour Blu-Ray version just waiting to be foisted on an unsuspecting public? I'm in!

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind: Sam Rockwell is brilliant here (see, in particular, when he sinks deeply into a paranoid state and asks, while on live TV, to be killed by a unseen--and non-existent--sniper; also: the scene with Clooney by the pool). If Leatherheads wasn't such a big bag of shit, Clooney (by virtue of this and Good Night and Good Luck) would be right in the thick of the "first three" conversation.

Movie from 2002 that I really should've seen by now: City of God

Mark: Great call on Spellbound and Chicago, they were both tough cuts from my list. If you believe the Spellbound producers, they only followed the kids that are highlighted in the film and 'just happened' to come upon the winner. Surrrrrre....Road to Perdition gets a thumbs-up from me. What was up with all the 'Tom Hanks is playing a villain!' hype that preceded the movie? His character isn't a villain at all....Just realized that none of the LOTR films made any of my 2001-03 lists. Huh. Should I have just picked one as the representative of the whole trilogy, like the Academy did? You're right about Two Towers being underrated. It's also the installment where Gollum shows up, to boot.

Kyle: can't believe I forgot Gollum. Inexcusable. Serkis was flat-out robbed in '02...and '03. That Spellbound factoid has to be bullshit...but then, why lie about it? Thinking about it, the movie would work equally well if the best showing from one of the featured kids was, say, sixth.

2003: (weak year!) Love Actually: in the interests of full disclosure, I actually didn't see this until 2006, when I was living in Korea. My bad. It's one of my life's missions to make this the go-to Christmas Day movie in all households, instead of the manipulative and very much played out (the latter of which isn't really its fault, since it's 65 years old) It's A Wonderful Life. You with me? Favorite scene: guy with cue cards who is in love with Keira Knightley. Saddest: Laura Linney. Underplayed story: that Liam Neeson's advice to his son throughout the movie is uniformly awful (and before you say anything at all: too soon, Shuk).

Mark: "Son, just remember, when you get older, never take your wife on a ski vacat...", oh wait, your pre-emptive 'too soon' cut it off. For shame!....It's too bad that the very sad Linney story has been made unintentionally funny due to the fact that her beloved is Rodrigo 'Paulo on LOST' Santoro. Nothing like an actor becoming a running joke on a hit show to make his past roles as a dashing lover seem comical in hindsight. I kept waiting for Linney to have one of those paralyzer spiders bite her brother to keep him quiet for a few hours while she and Paulo could get it on.

Kyle: hey, it was Paulo! How the hell did I miss that? And since I may or may not include The Squid in the Whale in part four (thus making this my last chance to touch upon this) how phenomenal is Laura Linney? She rocks.

Other nominees....

Capturing the Friedmans: great/totally uncomfortable documentary about whether or not a tutor and his son sexually abused their pupils. Also a source of never-ending amusement among my friends, since I went to see this movie at Rainbow Cinema with my former boss, John Hatch (quite possibly the nicest person on the planet) on a weekday afternoon...and we were the only two people in the theatre. Good times!

Oldboy: going Korean on your ass, Shuk! Have you seen this? I don't think you have, so I'm hesitant to say anything about it, beyond it being, not only among the best revenge films ever (Kill Bill: Vol. 1 seems tame in comparison), but maybe the only example (and thus, by default, the best) double revenge in cinema history. Before I drown in hyperbole, let's quickly move on...

Return of the King: Really, my only complaint is that this one ended too abruptly.

Shattered Glass: for like the ninth time in this post, let me say: underrated flick. For the uninitiated, this is about late-90s New Republic fabulist Stephen Glass (played quite well--much to my amazement--by Hayden Christiansen). Of note is Peter Saarsgaard's excellent work here. My only issue is that the script is too deliberate in conveying that Glass is making this shit up. I mean, I get that we, as viewers, would already know that he's a liar, but his stories are so outrageous that, even within the first fifteen minutes of the film, it quickly becomes implausible that anyone he worked with wouldn't see him for the fraud that he was.

Movie from 2003 that I really should've seen by now: Dogville

Mark: I haven't seen any of these save ROTK, so my comments will be kept to a minimum. Apparently they're doing an Oldboy remake with Will Smith as the lead. Your thoughts?

Kyle: Clearly, I'm horrified that they're remaking Oldboy, for the same reason I'm horrified they remake any good movie (foreign or otherwise): there's zero upside. Like, why bother at all? And the trend towards remaking good foreign films (Open Your Eyes, Timecrimes, Oldboy) is no better than the older trend of remaking shitty domestic films. Really, it smacks of parochialism. How about instead of making an English version of Oldboy, you guys actually let the original version play in North American cinemas. I know, I know...totally insane. Anyway, two quick points: (1) I really do like Will Smith, so part of me is intrigued; and (2) apparently the American version will be based on the graphic novel (which, prior to yesterday, I didn't even know existed), so it'll be slightly different than the original (aside from the whole not being in Korean thing...) which deviated somewhat from the book.

Up next...part five (2004-2008), followed by a PTI-style discussion on the whole series (reader questions welcomed!)

Friday, May 15, 2009

"Is TV Guide a Book?" "No." "Son of Sniglet?" "No." "Katherine Hepburn's Me?" "No!" "Oh, I suck..."

2009 Reading Competition

Yup, still alive. New content next week (and if you believe that: thank you).

Kyle

1. Outliers | Malcolm Gladwell (299 pages) | Grade: C+
2. Boys Will Be Boys | Jeff Pearlman (365 pages) | B
3. Acme Novelty Library #19 | Chris Ware (80 pages*) | A
4. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao | Junot Diaz (340 pages) | A
5. Rome 1960 | David Maraniss (460 pages) | B+
6. The Reckoning | David Halberstam (733 pages) | A
7. Generation Kill | Evan Wright (370 pages) | B
8. Friday Night Lights | Buzz Bissinger (400 pages) | B+
9. Pictures at a Revolution | Mark Harris (496 pages) | A+
10. The Withdrawal Method | Pasha Malla (321 pages) | B+
11. Long Lost | Harlan Coben (374 pages) | D
12. Liar's Poker | Michael Lewis (249 pages) | B
13. McCain's Promise | David Foster Wallace (138 pages) | A
14. The Long Walk | Stephen King (380 pages) | A


Jesse

1.
America America | Ethan Canin (450 pages) | C+
2. Outliers | Malcolm Gladwell (299 pages) | B-
3. Lester B. Pearson | Andrew Coyne (174 pages) | B+

4. All The King's Men | Robert Warren (609 pages) | A
5. The Gamble | Thomas E. Ricks (325 pages) | A


Rob

1. The Inner Game of Tennis | Timothy Gallwey (134 pages) | A
2. The Last Shot | Darcy Frey (240 pages) | A+
3. The Road | Cormac McCarthy (287 pages) | A+

4. Outliers | Malcolm Gladwell (299 pages) | C+
5. The Last Season | Phil Jackson (304 pages) | B-
6.
The Sunset Limited | Cormac McCarthy (160 pages)| B-
7. The Education of a Coach | David Halberstam (288 pages)| B+
8. Downtown Owl | Chuck Klosterman | (288 pages)| B

9. Can I Keep My Jersey?| Paul Shirley| (336 pages)| C-
10. Then We Came to The End| Joshua Ferris| (416 pages)| B+


Brief reviews may follow (though I wouldn't count on it...)

* = will not be included in final page count.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

"People say: You must have been the class clown. And I say, No, I wasn't. But I sat next to the class clown, and I studied him..."

The Best Movies of Our Lives: Part Three (1992-1997)

previously: 1979-1985, 1986-1991

Kyle's Picks


To borrow a line from "Bartlet for America" ("I would like our ten-minute breaks to be closer to fifteen minutes than they are to a half-hour"), I'm going to try not to stray quite so far from the three-sentence maximum for non-winners.

Mark: Don't worry, I go over three sentences as often as a judge that's tough on crime.

1992: A Few Good Men: ok, so, as much as I love this movie, I think I have enough distance from it now to say: is Cruise's plan at the end not colossally stupid? Even though the film holds up after many (many, many) late night viewings, I think I'd like the ending just a little bit more if he had some sort of backup plan (aside from crying and running out of the courtroom) should the Jessup thing fail. Anyway, it's a great movie (wish I'd seen the play), and making it my pick allows me to link to a classic Bill Simmons column (back when he was funny, as opposed to just whatever the hell it is he's doing now) where he uses quotes from AFGM to summarize the 2001 NBA season (part one and part two).

Mark: Excellent selection, it made my runners-up list. I think it was established that Cruise was flying by the seat of his pants and that if he hadn't hit a home run with that final gambit with Jessup that he was going to lose the case anyway, so why not go for broke? [Kyle: you mean, aside from being court-martialled?] It was basically the exact opposite of what happened with Marcia Clark, Christopher Darden and the infamous phrase "Hey, let's have him try on the glove."

Other nominees...

A League of Their Own
(switch with AFGM?): torn here, since this could really be my #1. I'd argue/have argued that it's the 3rd* best sports movie ever. I like this film so much that I even included a reference to it in my personal statement to U of T Law (the part where Geena Davis tries to quit the team because it's too hard to play and maintain a family and Tom Hanks fires back “It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard, everyone would do it. The ‘hard’ is what makes it great.”) Awesome.

*
= ok, technically I put it at #2 back in June '08, but that seems pretty indefensible now (it's not better than Friday Night Lights).

Reservoir Dogs:
better than Pulp? The older I get, the more I lean towards yes. It's certainly not as showy, but it's a tighter movie.

The Player:
my first Altman movie. Aside from the opening shot (the long tracking shot with--in signature Altman fashion--numerous overlapping conversations), this is probably rather more run-of-the-mill than I'd like to remember, but Robbins really carries it through.

Glengarry Glen Ross: maybe the meanest movie of my lifetime (or Kids, though GGGR has the distinction of, you know, actually being good). Few films have ever done as good a job as this one at conveying sheer desperation (the way they coveted those leads still makes be shudder). I'd be remiss, of course, if I didn't mention that Jack Lemon's portrayal of Shelley Levene is said to be the basis for Gil Gunderson from The Simpsons (my favorite character).

movie from 1992 that I really should've seen by now: Malcolm X or Last of the Mohicans

Mark: Have you ever noticed that a lot of 'best sports movie ever' lists omit A League Of Their Own, or at most mention it with a "Pfft, Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell playing baseball? Shyeah right!" type of comment? I think some people are just biased against women's sports in any incarnation.

Dude, c'mon, Reservoir Dogs better than Pulp Fiction? I don't think so. They're playing on two different levels.

I'll end this Oreo of criticism with a final layer of tasty cookie agreeability by saying that I really, really need to see Glengarry Glen Ross. Something tells me I'll love it. My favourite GGR reference was an old SNL skit with Alec Baldwin as a tyrannical head elf in Santa's workshop whose motto was 'Always Be Cobbling.' Also notable for the fact that Baldwin slips up and says 'closing' at one point, thus causing the elves (yes, one of them was Jimmy Fallon) to crack up.

Kyle: ok, now that I've seen my Reservoir Dogs > Pulp Fiction in print, I'm regretting it. If forced to stand by it, I'll say that nothing in RD is unnecessary (no Butch's French girlfriend, no Gimpesque "wtf?" moment) and that it builds relentlessly to a pretty kick-ass climax. Yeah, ok...not very convincing (though I disagree entirely that the two are on completely different levels).

1993: Dave: maybe my sleeper pick of the series (or '94). A part-time POTUS lookalike secretly becoming the actual President when the real President falls ill, Kevin Kline at his charming best, Sigourney Weaver at her absolute friskiest, Frank Langella as a first-rate foil, and Charles fucking Grodin? Seriously, what's not to like here? How this only rates a 6.8 (I know, I know, I'm too invested in these ratings) on imdb is beyond me. This is a terrific movie. Of particular note is the scene where Dave single-handedly (some might say preposterously) balances the budget so that the First Lady's childcare initiative can be saved. I love that scene.

Mark: OH HELL YES. I thank you for giving Dave this recognition. It killed me to leave it off my 1993 list since it's such a good comedy and Kevin Kline is a personal hero of mine. I like this pick so much that I'll overlook the fact that you referred to Sigourney Weaver as 'frisky.'

Other nominees...

The Fugitive: one of the all-time "it's on TV so I need to watch it from whichever point it's at and see it all the way through to the end." This movie never stops being awesome.

Groundhog Day: not a lot to say that hasn't already been said (is this your pick for '93? I'm guessing yes), so I'll ask this: how much time do you think goes by in the movie? Before you answer, remember that Phil Connors learns how to play the jazz piano professionally, speak fluent French...and claims to have died every way imaginable. (If you've heard this before and know the answer, pretend my question was "if you didn't already know, how long would you estimate that Phil was trapped on February 2nd?")

In the Name of the Father:
this is all DDL (not sure if I can name another actor in the movie without looking it up) and he's flat out tremendous here. (Oh, turns out Emma Thompson was in it, too. My bad.) Is there a better secretly awesome director than Jim Sheridan? Here are some of the movies he's directed (see if you can spot the one that doesn't seem to belong but was, indeed, directed by him): My Left Foot, In the Name of the Father, The Boxer, In America, and Get Rich or Die Tryin'.

Philadelphia:
a very good film that, if I'm not mistaken, I have not seen more than three consecutive of since the night it was released sixteen years ago (which is somewhat anomalous compared to...pretty much every other movie I've listed). Notable for inspiring Eric Mayr and I to refer to every dingy movie theatre (Huron Market Place) as the Mustang Theatre (and don't even get me started on the Mustang Drive-In). Good (by which, I of course mean: immature) times.

movie from 1993 that I really should've seen by now:
Schindler's List (inexcusable, I know.)

Mark: Well, we need to get together and having a Schindler's List viewing party some night. I'll bring the popcorn, which I'm sure will be left cold and uneaten after the first five minutes. I should've put Philadelphia and ITNOTF on my 'must-see' list, though I agree that Sheridan is a tremendously underrated director. Gratuitous U2 mention: they have a new song on the soundtrack of Sheridan's upcoming film Brothers.

Now, Phil's time in Punxatawney...apparently, in an early draft, Harold Ramis planned to leave him there for thousands of years, but that was scaled back a bit. I'd guess four years at a minimum; one year being a jerk, one year trying to kill himself and at least two years learning piano/French and being a nice guy.

Kyle: yeah, Ramis's original plan was 10,000 years. It's actually supposed to be 10 in the movie, though they're really isn't any empirical evidence one way or the other.

*1994 (5+ movies): Quiz Show: a bit of a shocker, I'm sure. I went back and forth with this and Shawshank, but I ultimately selected Quiz Show. Why? (Seriously: why, Kyle?) Well...I was going to go off on a rant about how it was prescient in terms of predicting the baseball drug scandal (interesting...but a bit of a stretch), but I think what really gets me about this movie is that it's a great story, simply told, with outstanding performances by Ralph Fiennes, John Turturro, Rob Morrow, and Paul Scofield (the only one of the lot to get an acting nomination for this). Redford could've used the Twenty One corruption as a jumping off point for America's loss of innocence and blah blah blah, but wisely elected to focus his attention on how this affected the contestants, dirty or otherwise. Van Doren's downfall, when it comes, is incredibly moving, largely because Fiennes, in his understated way, infuses the character with so much sadness that you can't help but pity him (even though you know you shouldn't). A great movie...easily one of the most underrated of the decade.

Mark: Wow, Quiz Show? Seriously? I toyed with the idea of making 1994 a ten-movie year, but Quiz Show was nowhere near my radar screen। It had an interesting premise, but managed to make it just about as dull as possible. It doesn't help that I'm not a fan of Redford as a director. How the hell did NEITHER of us pick Shawshank?!

Other nominees...

The Shawshank Redemption: your #1 pick, I think. This is veryclose to being my #1, (it's elevated considerably by a jaw-droppingly good final thirty minutes) but, for whatever reason, I feel like I appreciate Quiz Show more.

Dumb and Dumber: This is now fifteen years old and, off the top of my head, I can only think of seven movies that have come out since that are (arguably) as funny (or funnier): The 40-Year Old Virgin, Superbad, Step-Brothers, Anchorman, Best in Show, Toy Story, and There's Something About Mary. That's pretty impressive. Lines I still use from this movie: "tell her I have a rapist's wit"; "SAMONSITE. I was way off!"; "The first time I set eyes on [insert name], I just got that old fashioned feeling where I'd do anything to bone her"; "just go man": "Harry, your hands are freezing" (and basically anything from the double glove scene). Good times.

Clerks: I'm told that this has aged remarkably poorly, but I'm too afraid to confirm this. I don't even think I care, because, at least in 1994, this was sheer genius. (Randall's CCCP hockey jersey is probably 95% responsible for me finally getting a similar T-shirt three weeks ago.)

Pulp Fiction: don't really have anything to say here. It's obviously a terrific film. Having watched it not too long ago, it's interesting how completely extraneous Bruce Willis's subplot is. Feels far more like padding than I realized at the time.

Forrest Gump: manipulative? Oh my, yes! But, hell, I still love it. Four points: (1) originally, the part was offered to Travolta (though the timing doesn't make a ton of sense, since this would've been more or less concurrent with him being cast in Pulp, i.e. his comeback role); (2) the film is approximately 50,000 times better than the book (trust me--Forrest is actually an astronaut for part of the book...awful); (3) It's become slightly tougher for me to enjoy this movie after Tony Kornheiser pointed out that it's Republican propaganda, in that the movie is an indictment of all the liberal excesses of the 60s and 70s. Think about it. (4) I feel like, for whatever reason (increase in moviegoer sophistication? Growing societal cynicism?), if this movie were released today, it simply wouldn't catch on. (Case in point: Benjamin Button, FG's nearest analog, has met with decidedly mixed reviews.)

Hoop Dreams:
winner of the coveted "Best Documentary never to be nominated for Best Documentary at the Oscars" award (largely by virtue of me not being able to name another one). This is a pretty great movie, even if it's overlong (I'd like to think that I enjoy basketball more than 999 out of every 1,000 people, but even I was ready to claw my own eyes out during minute fifteen of the uncomfortably serious third act one-on-one game between Arthur and his dad).

Speed: only a 7.2 on imdb, which is a bit surprising. After all, what's not to like here? Some good trivia: (1) Sandra Bullock's part was originally offered to Ellen DeGeneres; and (2) from imdb: "A Fox producer realized they might have a movie hit in their hands when he noticed that, during test screenings, audience members would walk backwards when they needed to go to the bathroom so they would miss as little as possible." Nice.

Having seen this on the A Channel at 4 in the morning not that long ago, here's a question (and I'm more than a little ashamed it took ten or so viewings for me to pick up on this): can you fathom why the bus needed to jump the freeway, when the police escort simply took an earlier exit? Fairly massive plot hole, no?

The Madness of King George: pretty underrated. Have you seen this, Shuk?

movie from 1994 that I really should've seen by now:
Heavenly Creatures

Mark: Ooh, Heavenly Creatures, good one. Never seen it (same with Madness of King George). 'Clerks' has actually been redeemed a bit by 'Clerks II.' The sequel lowered the bar so much that when you go back to watch the original, you're thinking, hey, this is still a pretty good flick. My guess on the Speed plot hole is that Bullock simply missed the exit; she was under a lot of stress, so it's not hard to imagine that she isn't 100 percent up on the condition of every L.A. freeway. I didn't know that about Degeneres. 'Speed' already gets enough unwarranted guff just for the Keanu/over-the-top Dennis Hopper combination; adding Ellen to the mix would've made this movie seem like a joke to modern audiences that had never seen it.

Re: Forrest Gump. 4) The difference between FG and Button is that FG obviously had a sense of humour about itself, whereas Button took itself so seriously that it squeezed the wonder out of the film. 3) From what I know of Hanks and Zemeckis' politics, I find it hard to believe that they'd make 'Republican propaganda.' The Vietnam War and Lt. Dan's pro-military attitude are criticized too. 2) You're right about the book. Its awfulness is only topped by the even worse sequel, "Gump & Co." which involves plots like Forrest coming up with New Coke. 1) That's an interesting casting tidbit about Travolta. He made the right call in going with Pulp Fiction, since 'Gump' seems like one of those movies that would've been a total disaster with anyone but Tom Hanks as the lead.

Kyle: yeah, Clerks II was a bit of a gong show, with the biggest plot hole by far being: why in the world would someone as cool as Rosario Dawson's character (who is basically just Rosario Dawson, I think) want to have anything to do with Brian O'Halloran's Dante? This makes Speed look like a real-time documentary by comparison. This, coupled with a not-very-good Dogma, a lousy Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and an only ok Zak and Miri Make a Porno really makes me wonder why Kevin Smith is still spoken of so reverentially in many circles. I mean, I dig those Evenings with Kevin Smith, too, but come on...anyway, this is probably a conversation for another time.

Mark: See, I actually like J&SB second-best of Smith's movies, but if his ceiling has currently been lowered to 'zany showbiz comedy,' it might be time to move onto something else.

1995: Toy Story: I think it really says something that, in a year that has maybe the strongest top five of the decade (no doubt you'll dispute that, but, I mean Braveheart is #6...that's solid) it took me approximately 0.3 seconds to make Toy Story my #1. RT and I were discussing this earlier in the week and we agreed that this movie, with its high concept pitch (what if all your toys were real?) has no business being as engaging as it is (this was followed by several uncharitable comments directed towards Randy Newman), but it works. This is a wonderful, wonderful film, with lots of laughs (all of Woody's catchphrases, though "someone's poisoned the watering hole" remains a favorite of mine; the stuff with the toy soldiers; and anything involving Buzz thinking that he's actually the Buzz Lightyear), but lots of heart too (if you don't well up a bit when Woody gets cast aside for the new toy or when Woody reunites with Andy at the end, then I respectfully suggest that you yourself are made of slightly toxic plastic--and not the kind that comes to life when no one is watching). Or, you know, you just haven't seen it, but that's just so laughable that I'm chastising myself for even mentioning it. Right? Right??

Mark: No complaints from me, though I have a bombshell about Toy Story that I'll save for my own list. I'll just add here that the Hanks/Allen voice casting was inspired and that I'd really love to know exactly what Joss Whedon's contributions to the script were.

Other nominees...

The Usual Suspects: I know, I know, you don't like it at all. And short of you feeling that the ending pretty much negates everything that came before it--which was (and remains) Ebert's position....he gave the movie 2 out of 4 stars, and a thumbs down--which is an argument I'm not unreceptive to, I profess to being totally mystified. (Interestingly, a script-writing book I've been reading--Good Scripts, Bad Scripts by Thomas Pope--calls TUS "a good screenplay that could've been great," lamenting that there's too much tell and not enough show--mainly Fenster and Edie's deaths--a complaint I don't exactly buy, since the reasons for this should, I think, be pretty fucking clear in hindsight. I'll also note that this is the same book that rips into The Abyss for the unforgivable sin of killing off the villain in the second act, which...whatever.) Anyway, I'll allow you to voice your concerns about the movie before I unload on you.

Apollo 13: this has been on AMC and History Channel incessantly of late (not that I'm complaining). Just a ridiculously compelling film (I'm particularly fond of the scene where they gather up the engineers and get them to devise a solution for cartridge that won't fit, using only things on the ship). Of particular note is that I watched this on opening day with my buddy Eric Mayr, who was absolutely terrified that they were all going to die, prompting me to observe that the screenplay was based on Jim Lovell's book, so...

Se7en: Re-watched this recently, and, my God, is it ever dark. The Usual Suspects and The Sixth Sense appear to have the twist ending market cornered, but, frankly, this deserves to be in the coversation. (I'm particularly fond of the film's final line: "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part.") It also marks the last time Kevin Spacey didn't let his ego get in the way of a project.

12 Monkeys: harrowing. Bruce Willis has never been better. (Brad Pitt, too.) I especially enjoyed Gilliam's handling of the time-travelling aspect, which resisted pat answers and confronted paradoxes head-on (we'll call that the anti-Timeline).

movie from 1995 that I really should've seen by now: Babe

Mark: Oh shit, I forgot about Babe. Probably wouldn't have made my top five, but it certainly deserved at least a mention. And, in terms of an overall strong top five, I might have to go with 1993 or 1994 over 1995.

But enough about that, let's get down to bashing The Usual Suspects! I don't *hate* it per se, since I'd only hate a movie that I never found compelling. TUS works perfectly well the first time you watch it and it's an effective twist in that sense. My problem is, if you watch the film a second time, then suddenly 75% of the movie is completely pointless. There's probably a post-modern argument in there somewhere about how it's ironic that I'm complaining about watching a movie featuring a character telling a made-up story while realizing that I'm voluntarily watching a made-up film, but man, don't sell me that bulljive. A truly great twist leaves you wanting to watch the movie again so you can see the clues left pointing towards the denouement and essentially get a whole new viewing experience out of it. TUS just doesn't provide that at all since the Byrne/Baldwin/Del Toro/Pollack segments are now completely fictional. The mark of a truly great movie is its ability to stand the test of time, and TUS doesn't even make it to the second showing.

Kyle: Alas, I don't particularly disagree with any of this (see my comments for 1997).

1996 (I'm taking six here, but not counting it as one of my bonus years, since I inadvertently forgot my initial favorite for '96, and went with Guffman): Swingers: wow...completely my bad for leaving this one out. Watched it not too long ago and I'm pleased to report that it's as entertaining as ever. (Seriously, no supporting actor nomination for Vince Vaughn here? That's a travesty. And that he hasn't done anything remotely Oscar-worthy since isn't a valid argument.) Swingers is probably the definitive pre-drink movie...and since I can't really talk about this movie without effusively praising it (seriously, it's not pleasant), I'll limit to myself to the following observation: Mikey: big loser or biggest loser in cinema history? Those are your only choices. Count the number of cringe moments: (1) everything that happens to him at the blackjack table; (2) the way he orders his scotch at the casino; (3) "we're not in Kansas anymore"; (4) "I'll have the pancakes in the Age of Enlightenment"; (5) busting in on Tre and his new lady friend in the trailer to check his messages; (6) rebuffed by the girl who asks what kind of car he drives at the house party; (7) embarrassed by the girl he's hitting on in the bar later that night when it turns out he tried to apply for a job at her Starbucks two weeks earlier; and (8) miraculously gets her number, only to blow any chance he has with her the second he gets home when he leaves six messages on her answering machine (arguably the most uncomfortable non-sexual scene in movie history). The only remotely cool thing he does is swing dance with Heather Graham (hey, remember Heather Graham? She was kind of awesome for a while there...), and even that, based on what we've seen in the preceding 80 minutes, isn't completely enjoyable, since you assume he'll somehow botch that too. It really is a tour-de-force performance by Favreau.

Mark: Solid choice. And thankfully, I've done only about three or four of those things on Mikey's list. Favreau's had an interesting career; Swingers, two very memorable TV guest stints (as Eric the Clown on Seinfeld and his run as Monica's billionaire-turned-UFC fighter boyfriend on Friends) and now suddenly A-list director. It's certainly more interesting than Vaughn's huge initial success at basically playing himself here, then being in nothing but garbage for six years, then suddenly deciding to stick to playing himself and starring in a bunch of huge comedies.

Other nominees...

Waiting for Guffman (1997--played at BFF in August and TIFF in September): sure, it's not on par with Best in Show (few things are), but it's undeniably (I said undeniably, Shuk) hilarious. Of particular note is Fred Willard with the towel wrapped around his neck after performing (a bit I use as often as I can), Fred Willard recreating the end of the '61 World Series (a deleted scene, I believe) with Catherine O'Hara (his wife) as an unwilling (and utterly dejected) participant, and Corky's Remains of the Day lunchboxes. I think Misha and I watched this once a week for all of 1998.

Fargo: a lot to love here (Macy and McDormand, in particular).

Mission Impossible: an unfairly maligned series, in my opinion (except for the excrable MI:2, which is justifiably criticized). The original M:I is pretty kick ass. The thing that bothered (and bothers) me the most is that this was bagged on for being too hard to follow. Really?? I can only assume that Thief would make your head explode.

Jerry Maguire:
everything up to Cush's betrayal of Jerry is pretty terrific, then it's slow for an hour or so, then it picks up right at the end (though as Simmons pointed out in one of his podcasts, given that Jerry was in Arizona for a Monday night game, waited around for Rod afterwards, went to the airport, flew back to L.A., then drove or taxied it back to Zellweger's place, there's really no conceivable way that his tearful speech could've taken place any earlier than 3 a.m., which means: world's longest Women's Book Club meeting prior to that. And I'll add: no way that a recently jilted Zellweger isn't totally hammered on wine coolers by the time Jerry ambles in)

When We Were Kings:
next to Hoop Dreams, probably the best sports documentary of all-time (and I'll save you the trouble, Mark: the 1992 and 1993 Blue Jays Year in Review tapes do not count.) I'm endlessly fascinated by what a colossal douche Ali was back in the day (although everyone has collectively agreed never to mention this again).

Movie from 1996 I probably should've seen by now: The English Patient

Mark: I didn't realize Waiting for Guffman premiered at TIFF the year prior. Whatever the release date, it's impossible that I haven't seen this yet. Can we watch it after our Schindler's List night? I have a feeling we might need a pick-me-up.

There was a fascinating article a few years ago in SI about the long-lasting rivalry between Ali and Joe Frazier, and how to this day Frazier still holds a grudge against Ali for some of the great one's pre-fight trash talk (calling Frazier an Uncle Tom and other race-based taunts). That's the weird dichotomy of Muhammad Ali --- people forget that he was probably the most hated athlete in the world for most of the 60's and early 70's. I'm not sure there's even a modern-day comparison since so few sports have a truly worldwide profile, but imagine that you time-travel to 2030 and discover that Terrell Owens is being awarded a Congressional Medal Of Honor. That's how much of a turn Ali made in his latter years.

Jerry Maguire wins my Worst Movie The Other Guy Picked award for 1992-97. The two bright spots are provided by the whole Kush storyline (which should've been a movie of its own) and a career-best performance from Zellweger, who tries her best to salvage the love story. Just so I'm not throwing Cruise totally under the bus in 1996, yes, I did like Mission Impossible. Interestingly enough, apparently most of the original cast of the TV show (particularly Peter Graves) hate the movie due to the Jim Phelps heel turn.

p.s. My whole list is invalid since I didn't include the 92-93 Blue Jays videos. "Maldonado...OVER EVERYTHING!!!"

Kyle: No joke, I totally got a chill when you referenced that Maldonado sound-bite--amazing sequence. If we ever end up ranking...92 Blue Jays ranks right up there with the 89' Pistons and '84 Tigers video...and I fucking hated that store-bought championship team. That Owens reference kind of freaks me out.

I dunno, is Jerry Maguire really that bad? It's far from perfect, but I think the agency stuff brings something new to the table.

1997: The Game: man, I just love this movie. Unlike other twist movies, which tend to recede from view on subsequent viewings (even with The Usual Suspects, a movie I love, when I re-watch, I can't shake the feeling during the first 95 minutes of the movie that "you know, this really isn't how things actually went down...and we're never going to find out exactly how it did"), The Game holds up quite nicely, which is no small part due to Michael Douglas's fantastic work as Nicholas van Orton. His performance is so visceral--initially bemused, then intrigued, then somewhat worried, then panic-stricken, followed by demoralized, and closing with batshit insane--that you really have to hand it to him. Every time I re-watch The Game, I can't help but think: "well, how could he possibly not think he's been royally fucked over?"

As for those that bag on the ending for being implausible: (1) it's, at best, the 9th or 10th most implausible thing that happens in the movie; and (2) fuck right off. This movie is thrilling as hell, so you'd damn well better be willing to cut it some slack in its final moments.

Right down to the film's final music cue (Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit," cued at the absolute perfect moment), I adore this film.


Mark: Oops, Jerry Maguire might have to give the award back. I'm one of the people that was totally deflated by the ending, since it was humming along as a perfectly good thriller until that terrible, stupid, non-sensical finale. Obligatory SPOILER ALERT for anyone who hasn't seen it, but the fact that Nicholas was literally driven to (what he thought was) suicide makes the happy ending absurd. He was DRIVEN TO THE EDGE OF DESPAIR, and yet after he sees his brother alive, he is able to shake it all off and is partying it up five minutes later? Bullshit. Being involved in a 'Game' like that would put anyone into a rubber room. Also, the Game-makers took a big risk that he would land directly onto that greenhouse; if Douglas had jumped off a different section of the roof and dropped 15 stories to the pavement, I certainly hope that Sean Penn would've been given a refund.

Kyle: again, the conspiracy is so all encompassing that they can patch in to the TV signal in Van Orton's home, drain his bank accounts, stage a car crash where it appears as though he might drown, nearly drive him insane, bury him in a Mexican graveyard, and lead him to believe that he has inadvertently murdered his own brother, and your beef is that he might've tried to face-plant off a different part of the roof? If you accept everything else, can't we just assume that they had safety nets wrapped around the outside of the building? Or that they would've tranqued him before he jumped? However, I do agree that him being in a party mood immediately after the reveal instead of being, say, hopelessly traumatized is a bit tough to stomach (awkward cocktail party conversation: "so....you try to kill yourself twenty minutes ago, eh? Douglas: [sheepishly] "um...yeah."). Question: how much would you say his bill for the Game is? I'm putting it at $5,000,000 (remember, however, that Conrad is supposed to pay the whole thing and that Nicholas only offers to split it after seeing the total--I'm going to call bullshit on the two of them going halfsies...no way is Connie that flush.)

Other nominees...

Good Will Hunting:
a near-great movie "written" by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck that's very nearly submarined by two especially (Robin Williams explaining Will's van Gogh comment--t --and the "it's not your fault" scene, which, despite being the movie's emotional centre, is awkward and goes on for too long). This also marks the last time I ever found Minnie Driver even remotely tolerable.

Titanic:
cliched? Check. Totally lacking in nuance? Check. Overlong? Check. But damned if the last 70 minutes aren't totally captivating. Curious to see if you'll include this (be prepared for me to call you disingenuous if you don't).

L.A. Confidential:
not unlike The Princess Bride, this is movie I feel somewhat guilty about, in that I feel strongly about it, but not nearly as strongly as some others. It's great, but certainly not perfect (coughBaysingercough). Fun fact: this is the first DVD I ever owned (...and I actually had it for two weeks before I even got a DVD player).

Boogie Nights:
a much better movie than I gave it credit for at the time (I liked it, but found the Goodfellas-esque transition from successful Dirk to hopelessly coked-out Dirk in the span of a smash cut to be a little jarring). But I caught it about a month ago and? Awesome. The ten minute montage beginning with humble Dirk cleaning up at his first Adult Movie Awards, him beginning to enjoy his fame, him cleaning up again at the AMAs, the camera sweeping around the room before stopping on Dirk, whereupon he says "thank you" and walks way, is flat-out dazzling, and probably one of the coolest sequences I've ever seen in a movie.

The Sweet Hereafter*: "everything was strange and new. Everything was strange and new." A haunting, wonderful film. Still not totally sure why Sarah Polley isn't a huuuuge star. (By choice?)

* = which was, hilariously and totally inexplicably, referenced on an episode of American Dad a couple of Sundays ago. Weird.

Movie from 1997 that I really should've seen by now: Amistad.

Mark: I hope your buddy Eric Mayr didn't get too worked up during the last hour of Titanic. "OH NO! They hit an iceberg?! How will they salvage the ship??" I'm not the biggest fan of Boogie Nights, though I feel maybe I need to give that one a second look since P.T. Anderson's films lend well to repeat viewings. Poor Affleck, Damon and William Goldman have sworn up and down that there was no script doctoring involved, but I guess that legend will never die. It is pretty funny to read about Damon/Affleck's original pitch of Good Will Hunting as a techno-thriller.

Now, since you brought it up, and this is a bit off-topic but....American Dad: most underrated show on TV right now? It is right up there in the 30 Rock/Office/Conchords ballpark as the funniest show on TV. It's by far the funniest animated show on the air, if nothing else.

Kyle: I want to believe Affleck and Damon (well, at least Damon), I really do. But, seriously, look at their writing credits on imdb. I mean: come on. It's unbelievably fishy (though Gone Baby Gone was, in fairness, pretty good....which begs the question: who did Affleck trick into writing that one for him?).

You're bang on about American Dad. It's just terrific. (Steve has been a revelation this year.)


Mark: I don't find it so impossible to believe that Affleck is incapable of coming up with one good script every decade. It's not as if GWH was a particularly out-there plot or anything, and Gone Baby Gone was an adaptation. That said, I'm not naive enough to believe that they wrote each and every word of the script themselves. I truly believe that a Mitchell Report-esque impact could be made if someone released a list of every movie that had at least a 50-percent ghostwritten script. There's probably at least 10 films on our lists alone that were probably heavily the work of someone other than the credited writers.

(Hey, these entries weren't shorter at all!)

Mark's Picks

1992....Unforgiven: The anti-Western that stands as arguably the best Western ever, or at least the best Western (no pun intended) directed by someone besides John Ford. If there has ever been an actor who knows how to be a bad-ass, it's Clint Eastwood, and it's fantastic how the whole point of the film is that William Munny doesn't want to partake in his past murderous ways, and yet when he finally does, it's completely satisfying to the viewer. This is in part because Gene Hackman plays such a loathsome villain that my god, you just want to grab a gun and shoot your TV screen a la Elvis. Just a great movie all-around. p.s. What got into the Academy between 1991-1993? They had a three-year stretch of picking the consensus audience and critical darling for Best Picture every year: Silence Of The Lambs, Unforgiven and Schindler's List. That might be the best 'no complaints' stretch in Oscar history.

Runners-up....

A Few Good Men: Impulsively rewatchable, which is rare for a complex courtroom drama. As much as the Cruise/Nicholson "you can't handle the truth!" scene has been parodied over the years, it still hasn't lost a bit of impact. Reservoir Dogs was a strong contender for the runners-up list, but AFGM strenuously objected to being omitted, so I had to keep it on.

A League Of Their Own: Hands-down one of the best baseball movies ever. Career high points for Geena Davis and Lori Petty, one of Tom Hanks' best roles and certainly his funniest, and also notable for being the last time Madonna was tolerable in a movie and the last time that Rosie O'Donnell was tolerable, full stop.

Noises Off: This is a personal favourite that isn't too well-known. It's the film version of the classic Michael Frayn theatrical farce about a group of actors whose own attempt to put on a farce is beset by backstage drama. The first part of the story shows you the 'proper' version of the play-within-the-play, and then you see it twice more as it gradually degenerates into chaos. Most pundits think the film version was crap, but the movie cast is terrific (Carol Burnett, Michael Caine, John Ritter, Julie Hagerty, Christopher Reeve) and unlike the play, the movie actually has an ending that ties it together a bit better.

Wayne's World: I'm sad to report that this film that gotten ever-so-slightly dated. Well, maybe a bit more than ever-so-slightly, but still, it was such a titan of comedy in my youth that it would be wrong to omit it from the list. The Stan Mikita doughnut shop might be the greatest in-joke for Canadians in movie history. And....

"A gun rack? I don't even own A gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack."
"Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me."
"I lost you two months ago! We broke up! Are you mental? Get the net!"

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Bob Roberts, The Crying Game, The Player, Glengarry Glen Ross. Yikes, this would be a lot of people's top four for the year. I need to get to a video store.

Kyle: dunno...I've always felt that Unforgiven was ponderous. Hackman and Eastwood are, indeed, excellent, but it really seems to plod along. I've actually seen it several times--since this is one of those movies that I know I'm supposed to love, but I don't, and, somewhat sadistically, this intrigues me--and I never cease to be amazed at how inert it is. That said, it's been a few years, so maybe it's time for me to cue it up again. But enough about me bashing your pick...

So glad you're on board with A League of Their Own. I agree, it's criminally underrated. Hasn't seen Noises Off, but this is like the third or fourth time I've heard you talk it up, so maybe I should make a point of renting it. As for Wayne's World, you're right, it--like virtually the entire Mike Myers catalogue (with the possible exception of So I Married An Axe-Murderer)--has aged remarkably poorly, to the point where I'm actually kind of embarrassed I ever enjoyed W'sW and the Austin Powers series (and this is coming from someone who watches Teen Wolf routinely still to this day, so obviously I have no shame). Care to comment on this phenomenon? (Jim Carrey is, of course, totally guilty of this as well, but at least we can point to Dumb & Dumber as a comedy for the ages.) In many ways, it's far more troubling (or, at least, more confounding) than, say, a Dane Cook-type, who, so far as I know, has never (and will never) be even remotely amusing.


Mark: Try this one on for size...Mike Myers is the comedy version of Joe Carter. Both were Canadian legends in the early 1990's, but as time has gone by, their work has aged poorly (in Carter's case, thanks to the OPS+ statistical measurement). The difference, of course, is that aside from a forgettable stint doing colour commentary on Jays game, Carter has stayed a fond memory for Jays fans. Myers, however, made the Love Guru, and is currently serving 10-15 years in the Kingston Pen.

Kyle: solid.

1993.....Short Cuts: After Robert Altman burst back into prominence with The Player in 1992, he followed it up with arguably the best possible example of the Altman-esque style. Interlocking plotlines, over 20 major characters, a phenomenal cast (good performances from everyone from Jack Lemmon and Julianne Moore to Huey Lewis and Lyle Lovett) and a movie so layered that I've seen it three times and still couldn't really give you a proper rundown of how the story unfolds. Only Altman could keep this many balls in the air and still deliver such a great movie. And, as an added bonus, Julianne Moore's vagina! (Insert joke about 'Short Cuts' and her personal grooming here.)

Runners-up.....

Dazed & Confused: I think it's a Hollywood law that every 20 years, someone has to make a really great 'teenagers driving around, hanging out' period piece. 1973 had American Graffiti, a.k.a. the best movie George Lucas ever made. 1993 had D&C, a.k.a. probably Richard Linklater's best movie and one of the all-time great movies for picking out future stars in small roles. I look forward to the next great coming-of-age driving movie in 2013, presumably directed by me and based on the time in 2000 that my crew went driving down Richmond Street trying to figure out what to do, and my drunken friend Eric started pointing and laughing at the rough-looking guys in the car next to us when we were stopped at a red light. I didn't realize my mother's old Toyota Prelude could move that quickly.

The Fugitive: Hands-down the best 'TV show-to-movie' adaptation of all time. Just a gripping, smart and well-made thriller from start-to-finish, which makes me wonder why director Andrew Davis hasn't made anything else even in the ballpark of 'Fugitive' in the rest of his career. Favourite random Fugitive tidbit: Mick Foley's mandible claw finishing move was invented by the real-life Richard Kimble, Dr. Sam Sheppard, who was briefly a pro wrestler after his medical career was ruined by the controversy surrounding his wife's murder.

Groundhog Day: You could air this movie 50 years from now and it wouldn't seem dated at all. Not just a great high-concept comedy, but a high-concept so, uh, high that it has entered popular language to describe any repetitive situation. As great as the script it, however, I have a feeling that only Bill Murray could have properly pulled off the Phil Connors character as well.

The Sandlot:
A tough pick over such other 1993 classics as Dave, Jurassic Park, Rudy, Remains Of The Day and Falling Down, but I could hardly ignore one of my favourite baseball movies ever. No truth to the rumour that the Monster in Lost was inspired by 'the Beast.'

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Schindler's List. Yeah, I know. In my defense, I did try to see it in theatres, but I ended up making out with my girlfriend and was ratted out by Wayne Knight.

Kyle: Hmmm...I'm lukewarm towards Short Cuts, too. You're bang on about all the moving parts, but I feel it doesn't amount to anything coherent and/or interesting. (Which, carrying the metaphor well beyond its usefulness, I guess makes Short Cuts the Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel).

Good call with your remaining picks (Sandlot = inspired choice...and only partly because it forced you to snub the--to my mind--very overrated Jurassic Park). I'd argue that Clerks, released at approximately the same time as Dazed & Confused, is a pretty good contemporary hanging out and driving around movie (although admittedly light on the latter requirement).

1994.....Pulp Fiction: Along with A Fish Called Wanda, Pulp Fiction is my favourite movie of all time. A line I once read in a review of PF is the best way to sum up the film's appeal: it would be just as entertaining to listen to as an audio book as it would be to watch on the silver screen. To use a cliche, the dialogue crackles off the page. It's funny, dramatic, tense, poignant or (in the case of Christopher Walken's monologue) all four at once. Like Short Cuts, it's the kind of movie where you can watch it a number of times and still never totally remember which scene or little gem of dialogue is coming next. Just an all-around masterpiece of directing, writing and casting. Hell, I'm so in love with this movie that I even like the actress who played Bruce Willis' girlfriend and then apparently dropped off the face of the earth. The way she says 'potbelly' is very cute.

Runners-up.....

Dumb And Dumber: To this day, I'm not sure I've ever laughed harder at a scene as I did when Lauren Holly playfully tosses some snow at Jeff Daniels, who responds by whipping a snowball into her face from about three feet away. Daniels even narrows his eyes when he's initially hit. I think it was the eye-narrowing (or the scene with the blind kid's parrot) that put D&D ahead of Ed Wood and Maverick for the last 1994 spot.

The Shawshank Redemption: Well, duh. The Academy followed up its three-great-Best-Pictures-in-a-row streak by being surprisingly on the ball in recognizing 'Shawshank' way before the general public did. The warden is the greatest in a long line of asshole characters played by the great Bob Gunton.

Speed: Or, as Homer called it, 'The Bus That Wouldn't Slow Down.' One of the best pure action movies ever made. I wonder how many hostages were shot by law enforcement officials in the wake of Speed's success?

Trois Couleurs: A bit of an explanation is needed for this one since it's technically three films in one. Polish director Krzysztof "Unplayable Scrabble Rack" Kieslowski released three films ("Blue," "White," and "Red") that work just fine as stand-alone stories but also intertwine into a truly epic overall movie experience. 'Blue' came out in 1993, but since the other two parts were released in 1994, I'm slotting Trois Couleurs into the 1994 category. This trilogy was so good that Kieslowski didn't just announce his retirement after its completion, but he fucking died in 1996 just to reinforce the point. OK, well, he may have been writing scripts at the time of his death, but still, back me up here.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Four Weddings And A Funeral, Bullets Over Broadway,

Kyle: see, now, when you teased your '94 pick as your (co-)all-time favorite, I guessed that you were a Shawshank man. Pulp, eh? Interesting. You don't seem to talk about it all that much. I like it quite a bit (and absolutely loved it at the time--fun fact: Eric Mayr and I went to see it a the old Westmount theatre, i.e. before it made it's way into the mall, and, since it was rated R, we were convinced that, being fifteen and sixteen, there was a strong chance they were going to ID us (ignoring the fact that I've only ever seen this happen once--and not to me--in the literally hundreds of times I've gone to the movies), so we decked ourselves out in UWO gear. Idiots.), but it's not a movie that I feel compelled to watch all that often anymore. Maybe it has something to do with my disappointment with Tarantino's career arc post-Pulp, maybe it's because I feel it's revealed to me all it's going to reveal, I dunno. If you told me fifteen years ago that Pulp Fiction would almost be an afterthought to me, I'd be stunned, but here we are.

The snowball scene is unbelievable (Daniels is fantastic there, but full credit to Lauren Holly, who really sells it with that horrified look she throws him after she's been hit, only to burst out laughing a second or two later). Still need to see the Colors trilogy.

Oh, man, you haven't seen Four Weddings and a Funeral? It's worth seeing for the single worst line (and single worst line reading) in history alone ("is it raining? I hadn't noticed"), which, in maybe the biggest upset in movie history, was deemed to be only the third cheesiest movie line in history (you can probably guess the other two) in a 2004 poll.


Mark: I love that Eric Mayr is now officially the Bob Sacamano of our list. That's an interesting tidbit about FWAAF --- I would've expected more from a Richard Curtis script. And that snowball scene just gets better after that, since just when you think that Holly laughing will end things, Daniels is still pissed and then proceeds to chase/tackle her down the hill. (p.s. This scene was a lot less funny in real life 15 years later when Chris Brown re-enacted it with Rihanna.)

1995.....Dead Man Walking: A very well-made film that almost necessitates a post-movie discussion. I like that the film doesn't try to point the viewer in any one direction in regards to the death penalty or whether or not Matthew is 'evil.' It merely presents the viewpoints of Matthew, his family, Sister Helen, the police and the victims' parents and lets us choose. Fun casting notes: An unrecognizable R. Lee Ermey seemingly channeling the look of Jerry Lewis as the dead girl's father, plus a couple of great 'before they were famous' roles for Jack Black (as Sean Penn's brother) and Peter Saarsgaard (as the dead boy).

Runners-up.....

The American President: Also known as Aaron Sorkin's dress rehearsal for The West Wing. I still have to remind myself that it's Michael Douglas who's the president in the scenes when it's he and Sheen playing pool. This was the 'fifth entry' on the 1995 list, edging out Get Shorty, Clueless, Se7en and Tommy Boy.

Apollo 13: Just an all-around great piece of filmmaking. Could've and should've been the Oscar winner in 1995, as it was clearly the best the nominees, but the inexplicable Ron Howard snub just seemed to kill its momentum dead and opened the door for the overrated Braveheart.

Heat: On the list of great bank robberies in movie history, the 'Heat' heist is right up there with Bonnie & Clyde, Inside Man, Quick Change and Ernest Goes To Jail. A great movie only slightly marred by the fact that a) the atrocious 'Righteous Kill' really takes the shine off of a De Niro/Pacino pairing, and b) pretty much every line of Pacino's dialogue in 'Heat' has been turned into a running joke by my pal Dave. Then again, it's hard to not laugh as a line like "Cause she's got a great ass, and you've got your head all the way up it!"

Toy Story: Not to detract from this movie's quality, since it is a legit classic, but....check this out. Holy crap. Jim Henson 1, Disney/Pixar 0.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Twelve Monkeys and Casino, though from what I've heard about the movie, the fact that I've seen Goodfellas is good enough.

Kyle: Somewhat amazingly, I haven't seen Dead Man Walking, so I can't comment. Didn't even realize that Peter Saarsgaard was in it (he's terrific--can they please get him to host SNL again? That Cat Fancy-fabulist sketch, which many people, having not seen it, have more or less accused me of making up, was sheer genius). The only pick I really object to is Heat--a movie that, as long as I can remember, has been lavishly praised for reasons beyond comprehension. Aside from the score (fanfuckingtastic) and the heist scene, I simply do not understand the hype. The thing that bothers me the most is that the film's most objectionable element (Pacino and De Niro facing off) is invariably hailed as the film's high point. You allude to the stilted dialogue above, but I feel like I need to excerpt whole chunks of it to reinforce my point:
Vincent Hanna: You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we've been face to face, if I'm there and I gotta put you away, I won't like it. But I tell you, if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow, brother, you are going down.

Neil McCauley: There is a flip side to that coin. What if you do got me boxed in and I gotta put you down? Cause no matter what, you will not get in my way. We've been face to face, yeah. But I will not hesitate. Not for a second.

Me: [groaning]
I'm like 90% convinced that the Homer-George Bush "trouble...for you" back and forth is based on this. As for you: why so down on Braveheart?

The Toy Story thing: wow. Hello, lawsuit.


Mark: 1. Saarsgard is in it for about a minute and doesn't really have any coherent lines, so it's not exactly his big break. It never made sense to me how people could hear a friend relate some funny bit they heard on TV and then respond with "Oh, you're making that up!" Why would they? What's to be gained by giving credit to a TV show for your own material? Why not just tell the joke yourself?

2. Pacino and De Niro are like cosmetics tainted with Smilex gas. They're fine when used apart from each other, but when combined, they're toxic. If they ever re-team for another film, let's hope they're again separated by 40 years like in Godfather II.

3. Braveheart is overrated in the context of an Oscar-winning Best Picture. It's a perfectly good movie on its own, but a Best Picture? Nyet.

4. Not to be morbid, but do you think Pixar waited until Henson was dead to get working on Toy Story since they figured that nobody else would notice?

1996.....Fargo: This was the no-brainer selection of the list, since as much as I love Pulp Fiction, at least Shawshank and Trois Couleurs were in the ballpark for 1994. 'Fargo' is as close as the Coens have come to a perfect movie. There's something for everyone to love --- heck, even my grandmother would like Fargo. She'd enjoy the Canadian-ness of the humour, in spite of the film being made by Americans and set in Minnesota. Ironically, upon the film's initial release, it seemed as if the only people who didn't like it were a small but vocal segment of hardcore Coen fans who claimed the movie was a case of the Coens selling out to mainstream Hollywood. WTF? I don't recall a lot of crime comedies set in Minnesota and featuring guys being fed to wood chippers flooding the multiplexes back in 1996, but my memory is fogging up in my old age. The film was also responsible for one of my favourite film class essay titles ever, when I claimed that Fargo was 'film blanche' (as opposed to film noir). Is it sad that my creative peak came on an 83-percent paper in 2004? Pop quiz: Cuba Gooding Jr. over William H. Macy for best supporting actor in 1996...worst decision in Oscar history? I mean, you could make the argument that Macy's role wasn't actually a supporting role so he shouldn't have been in the category anyway, but Jesus Christ man, there is no way any sober person could possibly look at both roles and give Cuba the thumbs-up.

Runners-up.....

Hamlet: Kenneth Branagh is one of the hammiest actors going, but his Shakespearian adaptations are as good as they come. This might well be the definitive film version of 'Hamlet' that has ever been made, and it has some of the best set design and art direction you've ever seen, to boot. I love that Branagh was actually nominated for a best adapted screenplay Oscar in spite of the fact that the movie was a 99.8% direct adaptation of Shakespeare's original text. Will Private Ryan fanboys try to claim that the 1998 Best Picture race was actually just a case of a makeup Oscar?

Kingpin: My other three runners-up were pretty clear choices, but 'Kingpin' beat out a number of other good-but-in-some-way-flawed movies (Birdcage, Swingers, Scream, Star Trek: First Contact, Lilies and Trainspotting) for the fifth position. What put Kingpin ahead of these other films? Bill Murray as Big Ern McCracken. Literally every moment he's on-screen is pure gold.

Lone Star: A fantastic, mostly-forgotten film noir/mystery directed by John Sayles and starring Chris Cooper, Kris Kristofferson and Frances McDormand (wow, nice year for Frances). It's the rare film mystery where you can't guess the solution in the first 20 minutes. Hell, you don't even know what the real mystery really is in the first 20 minutes.

The Rock: Hey look, it's Michael Bay's first good movie! Even a broken clock is right twice a day, folks! It's two hours of Nicolas Cage overacting, Sean Connery delivering saucy line after saucy line, and a whole bunch of stuff being blown up. It is awesome. (N.B. Could I have picked a more diverse quintet of films for my 1996 entries?)

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: The English Patient, also the most recent Best Picture winner that I haven't seen. I would've seen it long before now were it not for the threatening e-mail I received from Elaine Benes.

Kyle: Fargo is terrific, though I must admit that it was almost ruined for me by the two ladies that sat directly behind me in the theatre that thought Frances McDormand's accent was so hilarious that they laughed at every single thing she said...for two hours. Painful. Thankfully, I caught it on video later...and adored it. The only other snub that comes to mind is Halle Berry's ridiculous performance in Monster's Ball eclipsing Naomi Watts's work in Mulholland Drive (the single best acting performance I've ever seen)...oh, wait, Naomi Watts wasn't nominated for Mulholland Drive. [Bashes head against monitor]

Great call with Hamlet--I'm still not sure how they managed to film that hall of mirrors sequence without us seeing a camera anywhere. It still seems impossible to me. Kingpin, in retrospect, has no business being as funny as it is (how many artifical hand jokes can you make?), but it works every time. Murray's facial expressions during the climactic final match (complete with his hair getting progressively out of control) are timeless. Lone Star (which I really liked) and The Rock (which, aside from the car chase, I did not) in the same sentence, eh? Diverse indeed.


Mark: Note to self, rent Mulholland Drive before we do the 2000 list.

1997.....Jackie Brown: I'm not sure why one gets such relatively little respect or remembrance among Tarantino fans. It's arguably the best display of Tarantino as a filmmaker, as he deftly adapted an Elmore Leonard novel (something that's only been successfully done a few times in Hollywood history) and yet still managed to put his own personal touch on the project. It gets bonus points for reviving the careers of Pam "Inexplicably not nominated for an Oscar" Grier and Robert Forster, and for having one of the more kick-ass soundtracks of recent years.

Runners-up....

Chasing Amy: Subtitled in recent years as 'The One Kevin Smith Movie That Isn't Suddenly Dated As Hell.' Kudos to Smith for building up Silent Bob's first big speech over three movies, and then having it pay off as well as it did. Is there a reason why Joey Lauren Adams never became a bigger star? Besides the voice, that is?

L.A. Confidential: As you may have guessed by now, I'm something of a sucker for a good film noir, mystery or crime thriller. Given that L.A.C. is all three, it was a natural inclusion.

Titanic: The movie so big that it had a backlash against it before it even opened, and then its popularity was a backlash against the backlash, and then it became cool to mock its popularity, so there was a backlash against the backlash against the backlash. BUT, over time, I think people finally realize it as being a great movie, so there's Backlash #4. Whew. And that's not even counting the one-man backlash my buddy Trevor has against the film, as he never saw it during its initial release and has subsequently refused to ever watch it.

Wag The Dog: I am 75% convinced that the entire George W. Bush administration was merely an elaborate sequel to this movie. WTD currently holds a notable place in film history as being the last great movie for both Robert De Niro and Dustin Hoffman.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Waiting For Guffman. This might be the most inexplicable omission on the entire list. I mean, you could maybe excuse "Schindler's List" on the logic that it's a pretty heavy movie to just casually rent one night or to flip on TV....but what reason is there for not seeing Waiting For Guffman?

Kyle: I haven't agreed with all your picks thus far, but this is the first one I've legitimately hated, because the best thing (by far) about Jackie Brown is the poster. (OK, Forster was pretty good, too. And Bridget Fonda looked great in it.) I just didn't think they're was much to this one, with Tarantino resorting to old techniques (notably: Rashomon-style multiple perspectives), with seriously diminishing returns. Case in point: there's a scene (I think it takes place in the mall parking lot) that QT decides is important enough that we re-visit it three times (well, three times total, so I guess we re-visit it twice), yet we learn absolutely nothing new from these different looks. I found (and find) this infuriating, as it showy for the sake of being showy.

I recall being massively letdown by WTD at the time, but I only watched it the one time, so perhaps I should give it a second chance. No qualms with the other three picks.

wow...Guffman is (as noted) so up your alley, too.


Mark: I enjoy how we're getting into some serious disagreements as we get deeper into the list. We're turning into Siskel & Ebert, except alive and able to speak. [Kyle: (too afraid to say anything)] I think you're exaggerating the 'multiple perspectives' angle, since to my recollection that's the only time it happens in the film. I think it was QT's way of mirroring the fact that Leonard often jumps between different characters' perspectives within scenes in his books, though it's less noticeable there since it's just a jump from one seven-line paragraph to another, not a whole scene change.

Kyle: (1) sorry, the multiple perspective thing only comes up once (didn't mean to imply otherwise), but it's absolutely as unnecessary as I suggested. (2) As for feuding, to quote Mr. Burns: "Well, Simpson, I must say, once you've been through something like that with a person, you never want to see that person again" (you're Simpson in this anecdote, Shuk).

Next up: 1998-2003

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

"Me fail English? That's unpossible."

Nice work, 24. Nice work. (Though, in fairness, this is the only the 17th most improbable thing that happened over the two eps on Monday night.)

On the plus side, the interest rate hike noted on the crawl suggests that the economy will be fixed by...wait, what year is it supposed to be again, Shuk?

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

"Capitalism is ending, either because of the Soviets or of something ridiculous, like a woman president..."

(I'm obviously at a loss for a post picture, so this one--despite being a total non-sequitur in relation to what follows it--will have to do.)

2008 Greatest Hits (or something...)


Well...I appear to think I'm pretty awesome, in that I've included forty-eight posts below...and only posted sixty-two times the entire year (in my defense, three of the posts included here are year in reviews, and weren't put up until '09). Perhaps "Recapping 2008" is a more appropriate title. Anyway, off we go:

-January 11th:
Kid Nation Running Diary: re-read part of this today and, I have to say, how the hell did they not renew this show? It's priceless. (Shame it didn't air on the increasingly desperate NBC, where they would, no doubt, have made it their flagship program).

-January 30th:
The Wire: Season Four review: of note is me teasing a Wire vs. Sopranos head-to-head comparison that, thirteen months later, I still haven't started. (Don't go holding your breath for that one, all five of my readers--although, interestingly, I don't think any of my friends have watched both these programs in their entirety...Robbie, have you watched The Sopranos? If so, you might be the only one that qualifies...future team-up?)

-February 5th: Super-Duper Tuesday Liveblog: I thought it turned out fine, but it was a massive fucking pain to update every few minutes (in real time), so, yeah, I won't be doing that again anytime soon...

-February 11th:
The Moment of Truth running diary: kicking myself for not having the foresight to do this for last night's Bachelor season finale, which was both spectacular and disgraceful (you suck, Jason). Next time.

-February 20th:
Best TV Shows of the 1990s: ah, nostalgia.

-March 13th:
Best Albums of the 1990s: I remember this one taking wayyyy longer than I anticipated (the TV one, too). As a result, this "best of each decade" project has a target completion date of 2045.

-March 20th through April 8th: NCAA Tournament posts:
Teams 65 - 33, Teams 32 - 1, Recap: The First Four Days, Round 3 and 4 Preview, Recap: Rounds 3 and 4, Championship Game Thoughts: truthfully, on the whole, these posts were remarkably poorly received (two comments for the six posts combined), which suggests the whole thing was pretty self-indulgent. And you know what? I'm totally going to do it again this year. Also: notable for me including the following in my tournament preview about eventual national champion Kansas: I know, I know, you this team, John Q. Office Pool. You loved them last year (lost in the Elite Eight), and in 2006 (First Round), and in 2005 (First Round), but not as much as this year. No way. Go for it. I dare you. I dare you. I dare you. Ouch.

-May 15th:
On Revamping College Football: amazingly, this is the only time I've written about college football. I like this piece because I absolutely crush the BCS. Nine months, a full season, and another lackluster national championship between two one-loss teams (ratings were down 9% this year) later, it still holds up.

-May 28th:
The Best Lost Episodes of All-Time: also, if you watch Lost, Mark and I rank the best episodes:

-June 3rd: Running Diary of the Scripps-Howard National Spelling Bee:
Future Potential Employer in 2018: Kyle, why do all your running diaries involve small children?

Me: [horrified] I. Don't. Know.
-June 11th and June 14th: The Top 25 Video Games of the 1990s: Part one (#25-#13) and part two (#12-#1). Lots of comments between these two posts--18 in all--as nothing seems to get people more nostalgic than 8- and 16-bit gaming systems. Probably my two favorite post pics.

-June 17th:
Shuk and I Rank Tiger's Major Victories: ...happily, this post isn't obsolete, insofar as Tiger hasn't played in a major since we wrote it. Yay!

-June 19th and June 22nd:
Revisions to the AFI 10 Top 10's: part one and part two. In retrospect, maybe a bit hard to follow.

-June 27th: Euro 2008 Recap: because, really, when else will I talk about soccer on the blog? Notable for two of the three comments (one here, one on Facebook) strongly insinuating (not unjustifiably) that I'm a total idiot when it comes to the sport itself.

-July 6th:
Wimbledon Recap: suck it, Simmons. (And, for good measure, my U.S. Open recap from September.)

-July 25: On Mad Men: Admittedly, this one doesn't quite work, but I feel it does a pretty good job of expressing why I like the show (and why its success is so improbable).

-August 22nd:
Ranking the Olympic Events: Because, a mere six days after returning from our honeymoon, I clearly had too much time on my hands.

-August 27th:
Little League World Series running diary: You see?? You know, sometimes you get a real gem of a game (2007's extra-inning thriller), and sometimes you just get a fucking dud (this year's 12-3 fiasco). I enjoyed this entry (even though I'm vamping for all but the first thirty minutes), but prefer the '07 edition.

-August 28th:
Shuk and I discuss the Summer Olympics: Tragically, I selected Usain Bolt first overall in our "Which Summer Olympic Star Will Be Implicated in a Pot-Smoking Scandal in the Next Six Months" Fantasy Draft.

-September 23rd:
Shuk and I discuss the Emmys: Spark Notes version: we weren't fans of it.

-September 23rd*
: Best Books of the 1990s: ...which doubles nicely as a tribute to the late David Foster Wallace. Can't believe that was six months ago already.

* =
Wait, what the hell? I posted twice in one day? Impressive!

-October 9th through November 27th:
Ranking the U.S. Presidents (in ten parts):
part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven , part eight, part nine, part ten.

-October 28th: Annotated Superman paper from grad school: I'm tinkering with the idea of busting out some old history papers, too, and doing this again, but I'm not sure if I really want you guys to know precisely how little work I did for those three years.

-
November 1st: Shuk and Kyle Discuss the NFL at Midseason: Notable for me saying that Peyton Manning was out of the MVP running (he, of course, later won it), that the Bills and Packers would make the playoffs, that the Redskins would play in the Super Bowl (oops! But I was right about the Steelers making it), and Shuk and I piling on Joe Flacco, who proceeded to reel off a QB rating of 90 or higher in six of the next nine games (whatever, he stunk--50.8 rating in three games--in the playoffs). Good times!

-December 6th through December 23rd: The Best Albums of Our Lives: Shuk and I (Misha jumps in for the last part) pick the best album of every year of our lives (with playlists!): 1979-1989, 1990-1999, 2000-2004, 2005-2008.

-January 16th (2009):
Top 30 TV Shows of 2008: technically '09, but thematically tied to '08.

-February 4th (2009):
Top 25 Albums of 2008: same.

-February 21st (2009):
Top 30 Movies of 2008 (and Oscar Preview): same.

Alright, then, thanks for indulging.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

"It sucks to be a Storm Trooper with a heart..."

Oscar Post-Mortem

Five Things about the Oscars, plus (a blog first!) a reader mailbag...


1. My picks:
I went 16 for 24 this year (just like last year, oddly), though I should note that, after I posted my picks online, I went back and listened to the two nominated songs from Slumdog and realized that I had the titles mixed up, and the one I thought was going to win (and did win--"Jai Ho," from the closing credits) was not the one I selected. (Yes, I included it as part of my sixteen, since I picked it correctly in the Oscar night pool).

2. Films, by number of Oscars won: Slumdog: 8 (picture, director, adapted screenplay, original song, original score, cinematography, sound mixing, editing); Benjamin Button: 3 (visual effects, makeup, art direction); Milk: 2 (original screenplay, actor); TDK: 2 (sound editing, supporting actor); Wall-E: 1 (animated); The Reader: 1 (actress); VCB: 1 (supporting actress); The Duchess: 1 (costume--nailed it!); Man on Wire: 1 (documentary). For anyone keeping track, my Top Five of '08 hauled in a measly three awards--supporting actor, sound editing, animated--or, the same number as Benjamin Button. Even more impressively, my Top Ten bagged...three awards. Goddammit.

Of note is that, according to my research, Slumdog is only the fourth movie in the last fifty years (I didn't go back beyond Ben Hur) to win Best Picture without receiving any acting nominations. Guesses for the other three? Hint: they've all happened in the last 25 years. (Here's the list of winners, but no cheating beyond that.)

3. The show itself--what I liked:

(a) Steve Martin and Tina Fey: hilarious (as always).

(b) the movie from start to finish gimmick: (though as Viktor, who I watched the show with, pointed out, that means they really should've done Best Picture immediately after the Screenplay awards, since "without a producer getting involved, these things just don't get made"--fair enough). Although I have to admit that I didn't even realize they were doing it that way until about an hour in...and it really didn't add all that much to telecast (though it did help move things along, since the same presenter would often give out consecutive awards).

(c) Hugh Jackman, for the most part:
The cheap opening set was a pretty good gag, as was bringing out Anne Hathaway (as many may know: I'm a big fan). I also liked the bit where Jackman "admitted" he hadn't seen The Reader, which was pretty hilarious. (I'm more or less positive, btw, that Billy Crystal used that same bit during one of his eight stints as Oscar host, but I perused the Best Picture nominees for each of those years, and nothing jumped out at me. Does anyone remember this? Here's the master list if you're interested--he first hosted in 1990, last in 2004.)

(d) Apatow's comedy short: funny, funny stuff, especially the parts where they were laughing at the serious movies. This five minute segment is, somewhat uncomfortably, more entertaining than the last hour of Pineapple Express.

(e) that Jerry Lewis's lifetime achievement (him?) acceptance speech was mercifully brief:
I still have flashbacks to Warren Beatty's interminable speech after receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the '07 Globes (this was compounded by his clip package being tremendously awkward, as it stopped abruptly--or, at least, should have--after Bugsy). Nice work, Professor.

(f) that the guy that wrote the score for Slumdog Millionaire (A.R. Rahman) actually sang (on the soundtrack and during the show) the two original songs that were nominated: impressive. Suck on that, Hans Zimmer.

4. What I didn't like
:

(a) the second musical number: Oh, my. How many different ways can I describe this as unnecessary? (Several...fortunately, I won't subject you to it.) Suffice to say, it's somewhat hypocritical of the Powers That Be to publicly fret over running time*, then subject viewers to an incredibly self-indulgent musical number about musicals themselves. Also: I tuned in to watch the Oscars, not the Tonys.

* = including only offering the three Best Song nominees three minutes (total) to perform their songs. (And, yeah, earlier I bagged on Peter Gabriel for not participating, but I've come around on this one.)

(b) the fact that Jackman didn't even attempt a monologue:
if only so I could've criticized him for paling in comparison to Jon Stewart. (Note: stop blaming JS for the shitty ratings. You want big numbers, try nominating a $100 million movie for Best Picture...)

(c) the "five former winners announcing the nominees in the four acting categories" thing
: because there's nothing more endearing than actors lavishly praising other actors (endearing means "douchey," right?). For one thing, these segments went on forever--they did the Best Supporting Actress one almost immediately after the show started (at, say, 8:45), and, for a moment, I was panic-stricken that we would miss the last subway* home). Furthermore: we didn't get to see clips from the performances! Major misstep...and something I hope they scrap next year.

* = 1:44 a.m.

(d) Stiller's wandering during the Best Cinematography presentation:
Look, the Joaquin Phoenix impression was actually pretty good (though it has a shelf life of approximately 70 days--it's almost instantly dated and will make absolutely no sense to anyone in even five years...), as was Portman's throwaway line about Stiller looking like he worked in a "Hassidic meth lab" (which didn't get the response it deserved), but Stiller deciding to wander around aimlessly while Portman announced the nominees for Best Cinematography, thus leading to the unfortunate situation wherein the crowd appeared to be laughing at the kick-ass footage from The Dark Knight, Slumdog, et al.? Totally shitty. Are you so fucking egomaniacal that you have to take attention away from cinematographers (Vik informs me they're technically "directors of photography")...who are lavished with praise for all of four minutes every year (two minutes at the Golden Globes, two minutes here)? Kind of a dick move.

(e) Penn over Rourke:
bums me out. Will Mickey ever get this close again? The odds are stacked against him. My big thing is, while I thought Sean Penn did a great job as Harvey Milk, I feel like several other people could have played this role (Jon Hamm?) without the movie suffering much at all (or: at all), while The Wrestler only works with Rourke.


(f) BB > TDK: twice. Let's recap. The makeup people for BB: made Cate Blanchett look old; made Brad Pitt look very old; made Brad Pitt look like Brad Pitt; then, later, made Brad Pitt look like a slightly younger version of Brad Pitt. The makeup people for The Dark Knight, on the other hand: were responsible for the Joker (arguably, the best use of makeup in the past quarter century). That said, the guys over at /Film (a site and podcast I highly recommend) are adamant that Hellboy II (a movie I haven't seen) should've been the clear winner, so who knows?

The visual effects snub is even more infuriating. Are we really supposed to believe that digitally transferring Brad Pitt's face onto a tiny old man's body is even in the same realm of impressiveness as the cold open bank robbery in TDK, or the chase scene through Gotham City?? Carrie, Shuk, and I went opening night, and the entire theatre burst into applause when Batman did that jump turn off the wall on his Batbike (is it really called that?)--and that was like the 8th or 9th coolest part of that scene. Can anyone vouch for something similar in Benjamin Button? (I do believe Misha applauded when the credits started, but he was being facetious, so that doesn't count...). Gah.

(g) that I didn't bet the over on Slumdog taking home 4.5 or more Oscars: I'm obviously an idiot. I mean, I projected seven or eight on Saturday night. Totally gutless.

5. Reader mail
(which, admittedly, is actually just the comments to my Oscar preview that I'm pretending are mailbag questions):
Quesion Mark Said...

1. Fincher's SIXTH best movie (yes, I'd put Button behind Panic Room)


2. Wow, I didn't know they used some CGI for Eckhart's makeup. Huh...that's a bit of a 'corked bat' moment. Hellboy 2 really should win this hands-down, but it may have been hard to tell exactly what was makeup and what was CGI.


3. Wow, did I really miss the boat in not seeing the new Hulk movie? Top twelve? Wow.
1. I dunno man, Panic Room was kinda lame. The most intriguing part of the movie was whether or not that was supposed to be Jodie Foster's son or daughter. (Answer: daughter...it turns out that girl was Kristen Stewart. Huh.)

2. see 4(f).

3. If you can get past Liv Tyler's inexplicable decision to whisper every single line she has, I think you'll find The Incredible Hulk to be very satisfying. The climactic battle--shot on the streets of Toronto--is the closest I've seen a superhero movie come to rivaling the awesomeness of Superman vs. The Kryptonians street fight in Metropolis (my major beef with other movies that have attempted this: when incredibly strong entities throw other incredibly strong entities into objects, the damage should be catastrophic.)
Per Dog Per Day said...

This is super childish, and I'm not going to get into an analysis, but how is Pineapple Express worse than Young People Doing It?
It has a lot to do with expectations, frankly. PE was billed as this riotous stoner comedy/legitimately entertaining action movie, when, in reality, it was only half of that...and only about half the time. I was openly checking my watch during the second hour (and, if I recall correctly, trying to get Carrie to knock me unconscious every time Rosie Perez--how did she not win a Razzie?--was onscreen).

YPF, on the other hand, didn't seem to promise a lot (small, Canadian movie) but delivered a fair bit. Of the five stories, two worked pretty nicely (The Roommate and The First Date), one was legitimately sweet (The Best Friends), one was mildly forgettable (The Exes), and one kinda fell flat (The Married Couple--which had a couple of good laughs, but was fairly uninspired). All in all: there are worse ways to spend 90 minutes. I'm curious why you're so down on this one.
Taylor said...

First off,
Benjamin Button was excellent. I've heard people say there was not much to it, but it was a good drama. Did you want him to go to war to make it even more like Forrest Gump or something? Not sure what you guys were expecting.
My brother...and erstwhile blog commenter...who only seems to comment when he appears to deliberately misread my comments. First of all, given that I thought TCCOBB was already too much like FG, why would I want it to be more like it? (Also, he did sort of go to war...during that hard-to-follow boat shootout with the Germans.) As for it being "excellent," well, I mean, I pretty clearly disagree. It wasn't terrible by any stretch, but was entirely too long (did we really need the stuff in present day New Orleans? Or the extended sequence where we were shown the chain of events leading up to that thing that happens to Cate Blanchett in Paris? Thank Christ Slumdog Millionaire--which, if you liked Button, you will find so good that you may actually poop your pants in the theatre--won best editing. I don't even know if it's good drama. What was dramatic about it? Were you at all surprised that he, ultimately, got the girl? What was the point of him aging backwards? What did we learn from that? I would argue that the only part that qualifies as dramatic is the final thirty minutes, which isn't so much tense as fucking agonizing (and that's not meant as an insult--it was well done, but very difficult to watch).
Secondly, your top 30 list has a few surprises:

1) I would have thought you'd like
Burn After Reading more.

2) I'm going to call bullshit on your #1 pick, mostly because I think you wanted to shock us by picking
Iron Man over The Dark Knight. There's no way you enjoyed it more than The Dark Knight or, say, Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
1. First of all, don't steal my "I'm going to call bullshit..." line. I won that fair and square from Television Without Pity in a truth-telling contest two counties over.

2.
BAR was pretty funny, but not terribly memorable (and doesn't so much end as just stop).

3. First, there's a difference between "best movie" and "most rewatchable movie." Comedies tend to win in the latter category. For instance, Step Brothers is (to my mind) clearly the most re-watchable movie of '08--FSM is #2...then probably TDK. Putting Dark Knight third may seem unfair, but you have to remember that it clocks in at 160 minutes, so you have to be pretty motivated to want to watch it at 2 in the morning. But, more importantly, why in the world would I want to fool people into thinking that Iron Man was my favorite movie of the year? Who am I trying to impress? (Travis?) I went back and forth between Wall*E, Iron Man, and The Dark Knight probably a dozen times between July and now...and I eventually settled on Iron Man because I remember walking out of the theatre and thinking: "I couldn't possibly be more satisfied with a movie." The Dark Knight, undeniably, has better set pieces, is the more "serious" movie, and more epic in scope, but it wasn't funny like Iron Man (I'll submit that the scene where Stark flies for the first time--which ends with him crashing back into his mansion--is the funniest scene in any movie last year). Nor did it capture (because, well, Batman's really not built that way) that rush of adrenaline that the hero gets from fighting crime. Nor did it have RDJ.

(What's especially intriguing about this discussion is that I know for a fact that you weren't bowled over by the third act of
The Dark Knight, so it's not like comparing the two films is totally outrageous.)

Monday, February 23, 2009

"What's next? Something that sounds better than a cassette tape??"

The Best Movies of Our Lives: Part Two, 1986 - 1991

Previously: 1979-1985

Shuk's Picks


1986....Ferris Bueller's Day Off: While all of John Hughes' other "legendary" teen dramas have aged horribly, Ferris Bueller has somehow only become more prescient with each passing year. You could make a good case that it was the forerunner of shows like 90210, Gossip Girl or the O.C. where teenagers carry themselves as virtual adults. Ferris Bueller looks and acts like he's a baby boomer who just happens to be in high school, even down to his bizarrely-old man name. Broderick gets most of the acclaim for the film, but it wouldn't have been nearly as successful without Alan Ruck's should've-been-Oscar-nominated performance as Cameron, Jennifer Grey and her giant nose as bitchy Jeanie Bueller and Jeffrey Jones as the long-suffering Principal Ed Rooney (N.B. I'm legally obliged to mention the fact that Jones was busted for kiddie porn, thus making him a charter member of the Michael Jackson/Chris Benoit 'Am I Allowed To Like This Guy?' club).

Runners-up.....

Big Trouble In Little China: This movie was a childhood signpost to my pals Trev and Dave, who still to this day greet each other with Jack Burton's half-L/half-checkmark hand signal. BTILC is a goofy, goofy, ridiculous, goofy, absurd, stupid movie, but boy is it ever a lot of fun to watch. Jack Burton's killing of the ultimate villain is one of the 10 best deaths in movie history, and easily one of the five funniest.

The Fly: Despite a few third-act problems, this still holds up really well today both as a thriller, and on the FX side of things. You will not believe how friggin' buff that Jeff Goldblum is in this movie. He looks like a nerdy version of Sly Stallone. Also of note is the cameo of Canadian boxing legend George Chuvalo, who plays the guy who gets his hand snapped off in the bar. Amazingly, a shattered hand wouldn't even crack the top five of the worst things that have happened to Chuvalo in real life.

Highlander: This one holds special meaning to the list, as I actually saw it for the first time over at Kyle's house around 2003. The Highlander franchise is one of the more underrated sci-fi universes of recent years, possibly due to the utter failure of the second movie and the fact that Christopher Lambert becomes 10% more of a self-parody each year.

Platoon: A seminal war film, and say what you will about Oliver Stone, but he is certainly the worst director to win two Best Director Oscars. Wait...isn't a compliment supposed to follow a "say what you will about" intro? I'm legally obligated to retell my favourite Platoon anecdote about the time my buddy Trev showed a clip from the movie for a class project in Grade 12 English class. He warns the class that "there is a bit of language in this clip" and then proceeds to show...the attack on the Vietnamese village. If you had listened closely, you could've actually heard everyone's jaws drop right around the scene when Johnny Drama kills that kid. When the clip was over, Trevor turned on the lights and noticed that everyone looked shell-shocked, and Trev himself perhaps just then realized that he picked a somewhat intense scene. Our teacher, Mrs. Spratt, chimed in with perfect comic timing, "So, a little language, eh?" Owned.

(I'd also like to give a special shout-out to Little Shop Of Horrors, the poster of which I had hanging on my bedroom wall as a kid thanks to the kindness of the proprietor of The Movie Shoppe, the old video store at the Byron plaza.)

Notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Hannah and Her Sisters. Gee, were there any other notable 1986 movies that started with the letter 'H'?....oh yeah.....since there is a one million percent chance that Kyle made 'Hoosiers' his top choice for the year, I really should get around to watching it one of these years.

Kyle: Huh. I'm reminded of the Friends episode where Chandler pushes Kathy away by accusing her of sleeping with her co-worker, then comes to his senses and goes to her place to apologize, telling her that it's a good thing, because now they've gotten their first fight out of the way...only he discovers said co-workers pants on the couch, and deduces that they have, indeed, slept together, leading to him blurting out: "well, I think our second fight*...is going to be a big one" (a line which consistently slays me, due in no small part to Matthew Perry's great delivery of it)...because: you haven't fucking seen Hoosiers? That's a real slap in the face (did you just get a chill down your spine??). I'm flabbergasted. I'm basically going to insist that you hop in your car, drive to my parents' place, and grab one of my three copies from the basement.

All of that said, great call with Ferris Bueller--just a tremendous movie. Also, while I'll always be grateful to the Movie Shoppe for providing me with posters for my room (though I never seemed to get any first-rate stuff, exhibit A being my Crooklyn poster), I'm still holding a grudge against those guys for closing up shop without giving anyone notice. Why, you ask? Because we'd pre-paid for twenty movies (ordinarily pretty handy, since I could bike down and pick one up on my dad's dime), only used six or so, and lost out on the remaining fourteen. Screw this foreclosure crisis, I demand an immediate Congressional investigation into the legality of said movie scheme!


* Note: for the sake of this bit, let's call my Ghostbusters omission fight #1.

Mark: Outstanding Friends reference. Ah, Paget Brewster. So underrated.

1987....The Princess Bride: It's hard to describe 'Princess Bride' to someone who hasn't seen it. It's a very funny romance, but it's not a romantic comedy. It's not exactly a satirical fairy tale, since there is some very genuine emotion throughout. It's a wholly unique entity unto itself and thus a movie that will stand the test of times for generations to come. It's also notable for being one of the all-time best Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon movies that doesn't actually star Kevin Bacon. Seriously, when you have a cast that includes everyone from Billy Crystal to Fred Savage to Chris Guest to Andre the Giant, that's a movie that can link a lot of actors.

Runners-up......

The Last Emperor: A surprisingly gripping epic highlighted by some absolutely gorgeous photography from legendary Vittorio Storaro. Fun fact: David Byrne (that's right, Talking Heads David Byrne) won an Oscar for co-writing the musical score. Other fun fact: if you type 'Last Emperor' into Wikipedia, it takes you to an entry about a rapper who I have literally never heard of. Should this guy get dibs over a Best Picture winner? Hell no.

Planes, Trains & Automobiles: Roger Ebert has a beautiful essay about this film in his 'Great Movies' collection where he notes that PT&A seemed to be a simple comedy the first time he saw it, but it grew on him over time to become one of the staples of his family's Thanksgiving holiday.

Predator: Second-best Schwarzenegger movie ever, and I felt that Arnie deserved to be mentioned for a year in which he made both this and another top-5 Arnold classic, 'The Running Man.' In a twist of fate that can only be described as bizarre, 'Predator' is perhaps best remembered today as the answer to the trivia question, "What action movie starred two future U.S. state governors?" PLUS Sonny Landham ran for governor of Kentucky in 2002 as well, so we could've had a trio. What I'm trying to say is that Carl Weathers needs to start a PAC immediately. "Weathers 2010: Baby, You Got A Stew Goin'!"

Roxanne: A very funny modern retelling of 'Cyrano de Bergerac' starring Steve Martin. Notable for a Hall of Fame scene where Martin's nose is mocked by a guy in a bar, followed by Martin making fun of the guy's poor quality of joke and promptly rattling off 20 hilarious nose jokes at his own expense. Look at this and look at Pink Panther 2, and then wonder what the hell happened to Steve Martin. (Note: I may re-state this for every other Steve Martin movies on this list).

Notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Broadcast News, House of Games, Moonstruck, Wall Street, and though I technically have seen it before, I haven't seen Robocop in so long that I've forgotten most of the film aside from the scene where Peter Weller is eviscerated and a few of Kurtwood Smith's more psychotic lines.

Kyle: wow...only one pic in common (The Princess Bride) between the two of us--kinda surprising. I caught the last hour of TPB on AMC about two months ago (if we ever had a sponsor for these movie things, it should really be AMC, since they seem to air about 65% of our 80s and early 90s selections on an endless loop), and it reminded me that I really should re-watch the whole movie at least once a year. Seems a shame that, twenty years later, the only lines I quote routinely (from this highly quotable film) are "inconceivable" and "only an Australian..." (for my money: the best bit in the movie).

Feel like I missed boat with John Candy, since I don't particularly love him in anything...and I can't really explain why. And: I use that Carl Weathers line all the time with Carrie...and she never gets it, even though I (semi-)patiently explain its roots every time.


1988.....A Fish Called Wanda: In short, the funniest movie I've ever seen, and probably my favourite movie of all time (it's neck-and-neck with my 1994 selection, which you'll see in our upcoming installment). Perfectly written, perfectly acted and the perfect example of a classic character-and-situation based British comedy. It is an absolute crime that Kevin Kline didn't get nomina....wait a minute, Kline WON the Oscar?! Holy crap! That was probably the single most deserving Oscar awarded during the entire 1980's. Kline is indescribably funny as lunatic/not-at all-stupid-crook Otto West.

Runners-up.....(You may notice that I've listed eight runners-up instead of the usual four. This is because Kyle and I agreed on a clause that we're calling the "We're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat" rule. We're each allowed up to three years where we can expand our number of honourable mentions past the usual limit, with a final cap of 10. Kyle used his first card for his 1984 entry, and I'm cashing in my first card now, since 1988 was a helluva year.)

The Accidental Tourist: I'm a big Anne Tyler fan, and this is by far the best adaptation of one of her difficult-to-film novels. The Accidental Tourist is also a great suggestion for screwing someone over in charades.

Die Hard: High in the running for best action movie ever made. Alan Rickman was jobbed out of an Oscar nomination. My favourite anecdote about this film is a tie between these two: 1) Rickman's famous facial expression when he's falling from the building was created when the stunt director told Rickman he'd let go of him on the count of three, and then let him go at the count of one, and 2) for years after Die Hard, similar common-man-in-tough-situation thrillers were pitched to Hollywood studios as 'Die Hard on a boat' or 'Die Hard on a plane,' etc. This culminated in a legendary pitch where a young screenwriter completely un-ironically tried to sell his script as 'Die Hard in an office building.'

The Last Temptation Of Christ: Maybe this is my agnosticism talking, but I fail to see how a devout religious person could be anything but moved by this film. Martin Scorsese made a brilliant account of Jesus' struggles to live up to his divine birthright and his avoidance of sin, and ended up being crapped on by conservative religious groups. Scorsese should've tried to get some endorsements from the Judean People's Front (or, failing that, the People's Front of Judea).

The Naked Gun: The first time you watch this movie, you'll think it's the funniest thing you've ever seen. Some parts of it get corny the second time around, but man, that whole sequence at the Dodgers game is still pure gold from start to finish. Favourite gag: for me it's either the scoreboard blooper involving the tiger, Frank walking around the wall as he enters the lab, or "Hey, it's Enrico Palazzo!"

Rain Man: Easily Tom Cruise's best of his "punk pretty boy who grows up" roles, and a truly great performance from Dustin Hoffman. Hoffman's performance has been parodied so much over the years that you forget just how good he was in this movie.

Rattle & Hum: There was pretty much no chance I was going to omit U2's concert movie. As an actual "concert movie" it's surprisingly pointless, but hey, it's still 100 minutes of live U2 songs. Highlights include the seminal version of 'Sunday Bloody Sunday' and great renditions of 'Bad,' 'Running To Stand Still' and 'With Or Without You.'

The Thin Blue Line: This probably would've been #1 in most other years. An absolutely riveting documentary investigating the murder of a Texas police officer in 1976. The movie did nothing less than free an innocent man from a life sentence and basically pioneer the crime-reenactment genre as we know it.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?: Maybe a little dated today, but the concept of a feature-length movie mixing both live-action and animation was absolutely state-of-the-art back in 1988. This movie was the talk of the schoolyard in its day, both for its concept and for the earth-shattering fact that Disney characters and Looney Tunes characters would be sharing the screen together! Gadzooks! Christopher Lloyd was the (human) MVP of the movie for being completely terrifying every moment he's on the screen, climaxing in the immortal "I talked just....like.....THIS" scene.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Bull Durham, which seems impossible given how big of a baseball fan I am. I've also never seen 'Midnight Run,' which I'm told is a comedy classic.

Kyle: ...now this is more like it. I think you hit on four of my five with your selections (and the one you missed--Bull Durham--you've, inexplicably, never seen...again: how is this possible?). But now I'm going to seem like a huge doucher, because I'm going to admit that I've never seen AFCW in its entirety, which is also pretty unforgivable. We should probably move on.

A Thin Blue Line
is on my "to see" list, since I really like Errol Morris's work. Love the Die Hard story. Do concert movies ever have a point? (Lone exception: Pink Floyd's The Wall, where I believe the point was to freak the shit out of stoners at four in the morning.) Finally, as for Accidental Tourist, I feel like this is very doable in charades (note: I pride myself on my charades ability, and once got a crowd in Korea--fine, they were American, but we were in Korea--to get Moulin Rouge in under five seconds; spoiler: it involved me acting like a cow and milking myself): (1) movie gesture; (2) three words; (3) first word: small gesture; (4) third word: pretend like you're unfolding a map, look puzzled, point at map, point at something in the distance, simulate taking photos; (5) second word: trip over something, or pretend as if you've just bumped into someone and do the hand apology (simulating a car accident would also probably work).

Hey did I just invent a new game (word charades)?


Mark: You gave me hell over not seeing Hoosiers and you haven't seen A Fish Called Wanda?! Our *third* fight is going to be a doozy.

1989.....Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: In a year filled with great movies, 'Last Crusade' got the nod based on the fact that if I lined it up with all of my runners-up and had to pick just one to watch, it would be my choice. There's just too much goodness to ignore: the great tank chase/battle sequence, 'X marks the spot,' River Phoenix's uncanny channeling of Harrison Ford, the great circus train chase at the beginning, the origin of both Indy's hat and his nickname, "Zis is how ve say goodbye in Germany," the boat chase through the Venice canals, "No ticket," the genuinely chill-inducing scene in the Grail Chamber that is capped off with "He chose...poorly," and finally, every single word that came out of Sean Connery's mouth. He and Ford were perfect as father and son despite being roughly five days apart in actual age. This was a perfect film to cap off the Indy saga.....wait, what Crystal Skull movie? Sorry, I don't know what you're talking about.

Runners-up.....(cash-in number two!)

Back To The Future II: Maybe a little guilty of naval-gazing at times, but it manages to stay just un-complicated enough to add layers to the original without going totally overboard. I'm just disappointed that 2015 is only six years away, and we're no closer to hoverboards than we were in 1985. Get on it, Hasbro and/or Rand Corporation!

Batman: The one downside to the success of the Nolan/Bale Batman films is that Tim Burton's two Bat-pictures have been retroactively lumped together with Joel Schumacher's two abominations. Talk about unfair; Burton's 'Batman' still holds up as a very cool adaptation of the comic, though still very much within a comic-book mindset.

Do The Right Thing: Spike Lee's answer to Orson Welles syndrome, where the first movie (ok, technically not his *first* movie, but his first major movie) is such a masterpiece that he spent the rest of his career trying to live up to it. I guess to continue this analogy, 'Inside Man' becomes 'Touch Of Evil' and Mars Blackmon becomes the Paul Masson wine commercials. If Lee makes a cameo in Transformers 2, I'm onto something. DTRT was years before its time and yet completely of its time as one of the best-ever films about race and community relations.

Field of Dreams: The cliche of guys not marrying women if they don't like 'Field Of Dreams' is probably a bit overdone but....well, I dunno, I'm hesitant to even risk it. James Earl Jones' "Baseball is the constant." speech is slightly comical now in the wake of the 1994 players' strike, but it still raises some big-time goosebumps. Has anyone been able to ascertain why Kevin Costner is only good when playing athletes? And, while we're answering questions, can someone explain to me why James Earl Jones wasn't a slam-dunk Best Supporting Actor winner (or even a nominee) in 1989?

Jesus Of Montreal: Yay Canadian content! Great film about actors performing a passion play in and around the city of Montreal, and the guy playing Jesus getting somewhat carried away in his role. The end twist involving the 'resurrection' (I wouldn't dream of revealing it here) is both extremely clever and moving.

Road House: The definition of 80's cheesy unintentional comedy. I will drop what I'm doing and watch RH whenever it comes on. My favourite Road House part was, as I stated in a past post, "that Swayze and Brad Wesley lived literally 50 damn yards away from each other. Road House is perfect as it is, but it would've been even more perfect with more scenes of Swayze and Wesley shaking their fists at each other across the pond."

When Harry Met Sally: This one is pretty fresh in my mind since I saw it about a month ago. It would've placed anyway, but the recent viewing just reenforced the fact that this is one of the truly good romantic comedies. Meg Ryan at her peak, Billy Crystal at his likable-guy peak before he became insufferable (is Crystal a fan of both NYC baseball teams? He's a sports bigamist too? Jesus) and I had forgotten how funny Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher are as Harry/Sally's respective best friends. And the orgasm scene is STILL funny.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Crimes & Misdemeanors, Say Anything, Driving Miss Daisy.

Kyle: Great call with Last Crusade. I love that movie. Whoever came up with the Grail tests at the end (please don't be George Lucas, please don't be George Lucas...) is a fucking genius.

Another great call with your Lee-Welles comparison--I never would of thought of that. I feel like Spike should gain 150 pounds to really sell it (this is far more likely to happen if he relinquishes his highly visible Knicks seasons' tickets...which is unlikely to occur.) Surprisingly, I've yet to see
Road House--this despite paying every month for the Road House network (Peachtree TV). Less surprisingly, I haven't seen Jesus of Montreal either. The only thing that appears out of place is BTTF2, which does not hold up very well (and, yeah, I apply this test fairly inconsistently...going so far as to avoid movies that I like if I'm afraid they'll appear dated today--see WFRR? Still...) My buddy Eric Mayr (yes, the one that danced on his knees at the wedding) and I would often discuss just how many DeLoreans exist at any given time in BTTF2--I think it's gotta be at least four. Thoughts?

Mark: Well, when they're back in 1955, two exist (the one they're using for the BTTF1 scenario and the BTTF2 one). I guess two would exist in 2015 (the one they're using and the DeLorean that exists in the present that presumably hadn't been destroyed yet). So that is indeed four, but spread out over two time periods...oh, I guess by the end of the film, Doc has one in 1885 and Marty has the other one in 1955. So is that two more to the overall total? Hey, why is my nose bleeding? Is that Jeremy Davies? *faints*

1990....Edward Scissorhands: I'm not sure if it's necessarily Tim Burton's best work, but 'Scissorhands' is the film I'd pick as the best example of what Burton's movies are all about. This was Depp's first real breakout role, and actually a surprisingly underrated one given his later career. Though covered in makeup and latex, Depp never leaves any doubt as to what Edward is feeling. The payoff scene of Edward creating the snow with his carving is arguably the best visual of Burton's career, rivaled only by the shot of Ewan McGregor in the field of flowers in 'Big Fish.'

Runners-up....

Back To The Future III: After the complications of BTTF3, Zemeckis ends the trilogy with a more straight-forward time travel story in the Old West. Kyle, I'm sure that Carrie has been this movie, what's her rating of Michael J. Fox and Lea Thompson's Irish accents, on a scale of 1 to 10? Negative eight?

Goodfellas: Tough call ranking this one behind 'Scissorhands,' but given that Goodfellas lost the Oscar to Dances With Wolves, coming in second behind a Tim Burton fantasy is much easier to swallow. One of my old film professors once spent a full hour on a lecture about the famous 'Henry enters the nightclub' tracking shot and were it not for time constraints could've gone on for easily another 60 minutes.

The Grifters: Great con man movie that, unlike virtually every other con man movie in history, doesn't rely on an easy-to-predict plot twist of who's really trying to rip off who. Includes a very good non-Cusackian role from John Cusack and arguably Annette Bening's best performance ever. Plus, the screenplay is by Donald E. Westlake, one of my favourite authors.

Miller's Crossing: Man, I found room for three gangster movies from 1990 and NONE of them were Dick Tracy? That movie was a staple of my childhood! Sure, "Miller's Crossing" is objectively better in every way, but...uh...Dustin Hoffman as Mumbles! Lack of stunt-casting aside, Miller's Crossing is awesome. I'd argue it's the first real home run from the Coens, though I haven't seen 'Raising Arizona.' John Turturro's entire stretch of dialogue when Gabriel Byrne is taking him into the woods to get shot is a masterpiece of speech. He goes from sad to pathetic to hilarious because he just never shuts up. It loses a few points for the lackluster job done by the usually-great Marcia Gay Harden. She plays a femme fatale who's allegedly so alluring that two otherwise reasonable men are willing to plunge the city into a gang war just to spare her brother. In the words of Michael Bluth: her?

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Misery, Dances With Wolves, Ghost, Pretty Woman. Boy, did I miss the boat some of the big movies of 1990 or what?

Kyle: somehow, we both discussed Edward Scissorhands at length and neither of us mentioned the truly excellent Seinfeld episode where it played a prominent role (the one with the barbers). Disappointing. If it's not Burton's best work, what is? Ed Wood and Batman are certainly in the discussion (Big Fish, despite its best efforts, is decidedly not), but I feel ES has held up the best.

Goodfellas happened to be on CTV last night at two in the morning. I hopped on right when Henry was in jail for the first time, and (predictably) saw it through all the way to the end. Phenomenal movie. Though the transition from Pesci getting shot to Henry being full-blown paranoiac (though, technically, he's not so much paranoid about the helicopters as exactly right) cokehead never stops being jarring. It's almost as if Scorcese was behind the camera, then checked his watch (obviously I have no idea how movies work...) and said "Jesus, we're already at the 110 minute mark! I gotta wind this thing down! Scrap pages 190 through 235 of the script.") As for Marcia Gay Harden...I'm starting to wonder if she's secretly terrible. For every movie she's great in (Pollock and, I guess, Mystic River) she really hams it up in another (The Hoax, The Mist). And, presently, she's chewing scenery on Damages.

And I asked Carrie about the accents in BTTF3. Her response was: "well...I don't actually remember the accents, but I assume they were horrible." So there.

Mark: I'd add Sweeney Todd and maybe Pee Wee to the best-of-Burton debate. Sleepy Hollow isn't the best, but it's underrated. Also, the general rule of thumb in script-writing is one page equals one minute of screentime, so unless Scorsese was replaced by Oliver Stone, I don't think a page 235 was a factor.

1991....The Silence Of The Lambs: It's interesting to note that while 'Silence' spawned a new wave of psychological horror/procedurals, it didn't exactly spawn the kind of copycat imitators that other singular films (i.e. Pulp Fiction) did. That's because TSOTL is just a weird movie from start to finish. It's oddly shot*, the story takes more than a few strange turns-- some credit goes to Thomas Harris' novel on this point, though it's not as satisfying as the film is --and there is never any sense of closure, even when Buffalo Bill is captured. The whole film is an exercise in escalating unsettledness. What else can be said at this point about the great Anthony Hopkins? Just look at the difference between Lecter here and Lecter as played by Brian Cox (a good actor in his own right) in 1988's "Manhunter," the original version of 'Red Dragon.' Hopkins took what was a fairly creepy character in the hands of a good actor and elevated it to a legendary screen villain. Fun fact: Hopkins only has 16 minutes of screentime in the movie. Talk about doing more with less. [Kyle: wow...he could've won Best Supporting Actress twice in 1999!]

* = or, in a way, familiarly shot for fans of Jonathan Demme. You'll notice that some of the low-angle and slightly off-kiltered close-ups that Demme used to frame Lecter were first used in Stop Making Sense (like here). Psycho Killer, indeed.

Runners-up.....

Beauty And The Beast: For my money, still the best of the new-age Disney cartoons. I think the Gaston character is currently appearing on the new season of Survivor under the name 'Coach.'

Defending Your Life: A mostly-forgotten comedy by the underrated Albert Brooks, about a lawyer who dies and then must literally stand on trial in the afterlife in order to get into heaven. Most of the humour comes from the fact that 'Purgatory' is depicted as, basically, a Florida retirement community.

The Fisher King: Robin Williams and the most underrated actor of the last 20 years Jeff Bridges make their list debuts. Terry Gilliam's most fully satisfying feature film.

Terminator 2: One of the five best action movies ever made. Holds up very well in spite of the early 90's release; the FX are as cool as ever, and the only real scene that dates it is John Connor's punk buddy's mullet ("Yeah!"). Like any great thriller, it saves its "Okay, this just got silly" moment for the very end when Arnold shoots a thumbs-up before going into the molten lava.

Most notable movie(s) I haven't seen: Barton Fink, Grand Canyon, Thelma & Louise. Maybe I could save time by seeing the mash-up of all three, wherein Thelma & Louise's husbands are both such finks are it forces them to drive into the Grand Canyon.

Kyle: good pick (it's my #2). Probably the all-time best example of "we should've left well enough alone" (I though Hannibal was seriously awful...though the Red Dragon remake was pretty solid). Over/under of a movie sweeping Best Actor, Actress, Picture, and Director again: 18.5 years. Place your bets (I'm thinking that Leaving Las Vegas got closest). It wouldn't surprise me if it never happened again.

Fisher King...meh. Do you really think it's better than
Twelve Monkeys? That might be the upset of the series. I don't think I've laughed at something Albert Brooks has said or done since...actually, I don't know if I ever have* (but I've only seen about four minutes of DYL).

Finally: do you know how I know you're gay? You include Disney movies in your top five. (Kidding...sort of. I always preferred Aladdin.)

* = The Simpsons Movie

Mark: Just to add to the difficulty for TSOTL, they also won the Best Screenplay award. It, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and It Happened One Night are the only three films to pull off the five-for-five. So I'd guess that if another movie is going to do it, it'll have to have a long title.

Kyle's Picks (1986 - 1991)

Have to say: for our first post, I found it extremely difficult to limit myself to five movies (hence my 1984 entry, which consisted of seven films), but this time through, I felt I was really grasping at straws. Nevertheless....

1986: Hoosiers: I'll start with my most predictable pick of, not only this part, but the entire series. Enter Hoosiers, my all-time favorite movie. Eight things I love about it: the soundtrack (done by Jerry Goldsmith--for whatever reason, I could never get my hands on a CD version of it, so I resorted to recording it onto a tape with my ghettoblaster, then--of course--playing the tape over and over again while I shot baskets outside...my Ghostbusters stick moment it would seem); the scene where Coach Dale unconvincingly tries to convince Jimmy to play and Jimmy goes something like 16 for 17 (missing only his final shot); "one thing: I play, coach stays. He goes, I go"; the five minute montage that ensues (with Jimmy joining the team), which is pretty much the most thrilling thing ever; the fact that, when I watched this in the theatre when I was seven I was convinced they were going to lose the state semifinal (the one where Ollie comes in and grannies the winning FT); when Coach Dale gets them to measure the dimensions at the seemingly massive Fieldhouse where the state final was to be played (chill); every second of the state championship game (which is brilliantly edited); and "I love you guys." (Hold on, I'm going to cue it up again.) When Jimmy hits that jumper in the state championship, I cry every single time...and I'm not even slightly ashamed to admit it.

That this movie finished second behind Bull Durham in the best sports movie ever poll on ESPN should have been ESPN's cue to stop covering sports forever. An absolute fucking travesty that. Anyway, I'm officially blathering, so we should probably move on, but I'll leave you with this question, Shuk: what's the second best basketball movie ever? (And, no, High School Musical doesn't count.) It's almost certainly Hoop Dreams, but if we're excluding documentaries, I'd argue that it's not White Man Can't Jump or Above the Rim (though the latter is extremely watchable), but rather the criminally underrated Love and Basketball, featuring Steelers coach Mike Tomlin.

Mark: No love for 'Blue Chips'? C'mon, Bob Cousy hit all of those free throws take after take! Seriously, I'd toss an actual vote towards Spike Lee's "He Got Game," and a semi-serious vote towards that stalwart from your previous list, 'Teen Wolf.'

Kyle: Blue Chips, game footage aside (and the ten minute sequence where Nick Nolte recruits his star class) is pretty terrible...and He Got Game is basically one great scene (the Allen-Washington one-on-one game) sandwiched between 110 minutes of crap (and that's leaving aside the preposterously poor ending). Teen Wolf is up there, but I'm standing by my original answer(s).

Other Nominees...

Ferris Bueller's Day Off: There's long been a story (quite possibly apocryphal) that, upon seeing this movie, Jack Nicholson seriously contemplated retiring after seeing this movie (reasoning that, if this was the kind of movie people wanted to see, he couldn't provide/had no interest in providing that), which has struck me as somewhat of a hysterical overreaction. Screw The Breakfast Club (which has always struck me as incredibly artificial...and not in a funny way like Ferris) and Sixteen Candles (I'm not a girl!), FBDO has always been the quintessential high school movie for me. Some fun facts about the movie: did you know that Ferris was supposed to have a younger brother and sister in the movie, but they cut it out for time? Or that Broderick was nominated for a Golden Globe for his work here? (That, some fifteen years later, Broderick went back and basically took on the role of Mr. Rooney in the suberb Election? Genius.)

Stand By Me
: great movie. Happy to report that, having seen it less than a month ago, it's aged much better than you might expect. Not much else to say (does anyone not love this film?), so let's focus for a second on the sheer awesomeness of Stephen King's Different Seasons, a novella which contained the stories that were adapted into The Shawshank Redemption, Stand by Me, and Apt Pupil. (The fourth story, incidentally, is "The Breathing Method," and it's so profoundly stupid--short version: a mother being decapitated while giving birth plays a prominent role--that it's safe to say King isn't going to go 4 for 4 here.) Anyway, I realize that Apt Pupil isn't much of a movie, but the story itself is, I assure you, spectacular. So, yeah, not a bad book.

Platoon:
I wonder how Oliver Stone feels about his (arguably) most accomplished film (though you could probably make a case--and I will--that this should really be JFK) is more or less remembered for its moving score ("Adagio for Strings"--which, it turns out, was actually written in the 1930s...oh) ...and not much else. Which is kind of a shame, because although Platoon doesn't exactly re-invent the cinematic wheel (good vs. evil! In the form of sergeants! You'll never guess how it pla--oh, you figured it out? OK.) , it's awfully engaging.


Aliens: I recall enjoying this one much more than the first, which I believe puts me in a distinct minority.

movie from 1986 that I probably should've seen by now: The Fly (one of Carrie's favorites)

Mark: Jack Nicholson, in 1987, appeared in The Witches of Eastwick, so he's not exactly the best barometer for high-quality motion pictures. As for Stand By Me, I totally forgot about it in my list, quite possibly because I haven't see the movie in at least 18 years. That's the one where Jack Bauer kills a terrorist in the woods and some children happen upon the body before it's eaten by a cougar, and the kids are then frightened by a survivalist (Kevin Dillon), right?

Kyle: I think so...but one of the kids also gets amnesia...and radiation poisoning...and a nerve gas attack. (Yeah, I really beat that one to death. Sorry.)

1987: Full Metal Jacket: huh. This is, at best, Kubrick's 6th or 7th strongest film (trailing the obvious big three--Clockwork, 2001, and Strangelove--plus The Shining, but also probably Lolita and The Killers). That might not seem especially damning, given how talented Kubrick was, but I'll also add this: I'm not even particularly fond of FMJ. (All of this, of course, points to 1987 being a particularly weak movie year.) Anyway...back to Jacket: the first section is spectacular (with Vincent D'Onofrio, Matthew Modine, and R. Lee Ermey acting their guts out), but the second part (which, when it arrives, is totally--and deliberately--jarring) is markedly less interesting. Still, it looks fantastic. That Kubrick was able to make coastal England look like a bombed-out Vietnam is, of course, staggering. But let's set that aside. The real marvel is the basic training footage. Note in particular the long tracking shots (used throughout the training scenes) where Ermey (as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman) berates his men. Or the looooong stationary shots when Pyle is singled out by Hartman (there's also one where it's just Pyle gazing at something seemingly just off camera, and it's clear that he's slowly unraveling). Finally, there's the use of shadow and light during Pyle's meltdown, which makes a disturbing scene that much more horrifying. So, yeah, I've kind of talked myself into this pick.

Other nominees...

The Princess Bride: I don't think I love this movie as much as most (the god-awful Scrubs episode dedicated to it didn't help), but I still love it.

The Untouchables: I was going to say that this movie has the dubious distinction of being the only Brian de Palma directed film that I actually like, but I forgot about Casualties of War (incredibly disturbing...and probably would've been better if Michael J. Fox decided to play it as the Wolf, but still pretty good), Carrie (awesome) and Mission: Impossible (awesome), so never mind. Still...how the hell is he a famous director? This is baffling. Five good movies in 49 years (I'm spotting you Blow Out)? His lifetime achievement montage is going to be incredibly uncomfortable (or: 45 seconds long).

OK, but there's no denying that this is one of his better efforts. Fun (spoilerish) fact about the film: Any police officer seen drinking alcohol on-screen in this film is killed (h/t imdb). Never noticed that. Also (hilariously), John Candy was the studio's first choice to play Capone.

House of Cards: Mamet's first movie. Saw this not too long ago and it's...pretty good (again: 1987 = weak). I'm positive it'd be better with anyone other than Lindsay Crouse (aka Buffy's prof that worked for the Initiative in season four) in the lead role, who is just so awful (is it possible to be both wooden and robotic in a performance? If so, she is), that it has to be seen to be believed. She's spectacularly bad. An absolute career-killer. The other thing is, while this may have been a cutting edge con man movie in 1987, it has not aged particularly well. The twist (when it comes) is so obvious that you'll only be shocked if you haven't seen...any of the following: Matchstick Men, The Grifters, The Game, Heist, The Score, all of Sawyer's flashbacks, or the episode where Gary and Sam convinced the gang at Cheers that the Old Town Tavern was being run by a gangster. (I was convinced that the twist itself was a twist. Alas, no. It was just blatantly telegraphed.) That said, I'd probably watch Joe Mantegna do his taxes for 105 minutes, so I'm giving it a thumbs-up (and the first thirty minutes are super).

Raising Arizona: this film--a perfectly serviceable if unmemorable outing by the Coen Brothers--is basically a protest vote against the incredibly overrated Wall Street. That is all. movie from 1987 that I probably should've seen by now: Empire of the Sun or Broadcast News

Mark: I'd be interested in taking the stopwatch to FMJ and timing exactly how long the boot camp segment lasts. My vague recollection is that it lasts a little over an hour, and the war sequence lasts the remaining 50 minutes of the movie. Honestly, Kubrick should've just endeavored to stretch the training portion to 90 minutes and just made that the whole movie, since the war sequence is wholly unnecessary and tacked-on. I don't know if Kubrick just felt that taking years to make a 90-minute film wouldn't have been worth it or what. Fun fact: R. Lee Ermey was hired as an advisor for the film, but ended up playing the role of Sgt. Hartman based on an audition tape wherein Ermey improvised 15 minutes' worth of original insults.

Re: House Of Cards. I enjoy most of Mamet's plays/films, but I'd argue that his greatest flaw is that he generally writes female characters very poorly. Then, compounding the problem, he does a fairly poor job of casting these roles in his films so he can't even salvage the problem with a good actress (his wife, the terrible Rebecca Pidgeon, has come close to ruining many a Mamet film). [And the woman Mamet divorced to marry Mrs. Pidgeon? None other than the aforementioned Lindsay Crouse.]

Re: De Palma. He holds a special place in the heart of many film theorists, as he is widely considered to the most derivative director of the last 30 years. He steals, copies and 'pays homage to' (his take on it) many shots and filming ideas from countless better films without an original idea of his own. De Palma is the P. Diddy of directing. Oh, btw, John Candy would've gotten an Oscar nomination if he had played Capone. There is no limit to my appreciation for John Candy's talent. That guy was an acting machine just waiting to explode (unfortunately, his heart exploded first).


Kyle: lots of good trivia from FMJ, including the fact that, mid-shoot, Ermey nearly died in a car accident, forcing them to delay filming for several weeks. (Bonus points, too, for Ermey playing House's dad and the Janitor's dad on Scrubs.) Anyway, I feel like you should go back and re-watch FMJ, since it hangs together in the second half rather better than you might have remembered (it's far more nuanced than, say, Platoon). Plus: Adam Baldwin (!) plays Animal Mother.

1988: Big: just a wonderful movie. I hope that when Tom Hanks retires he gets his due for his performance here, because he's pitch-perfect. (Remind me again why he doesn't do comedies anymore?) No one else (in 1988) could've played the part the way Hanks did. (I know he was nominated for Best Actor at the time, but I feel like Big is often dismissed as "minor Hanks"). All of which makes this following factoid all the more interesting: Hanks was initially offered the part, but turned it down. At this point, the part was offered to (wait for it...) Robert DeNiro (!?!)...and we'd likely still be discussing the scene where Billy inexplicably beats a man in his office to death for stealing his drink box were it not for the fact that DeNiro asked for a ridiculous $6 million for the part (the film was ultimately made for about $18 million). Hanks ended up being available...and made a third of what DeNiro sought. So...yeah. Wild, no?

As much as it pains me to give Penny Marshall any credit whatsoever, her tactic to: "give star Tom Hanks an idea of how a 12 year-old would behave, director Penny Marshall filmed each "grown-up" scene with David Moscow (Young Josh) playing Tom Hanks's part, who then copied David Moscow's behavior" (h/t imdb) was right on the money. Beyond that, the movie doesn't require much dissection, so I'll close with this: Elizabeth Perkins = statutory rapist? Probably best there wasn't a sequel.

Mark: Wait a minute, so Hanks just copied the kid's actions? That doesn't seem terribly fair. That's the 1980's equivalent of "Depp based his whole performance off of Keith Richards." If De Niro had been able to pull off this role, that would've shot him into the upper tier of great actors, rather than peaking in the second tier. And, finally, I've never seen Big. Oops.

Kyle: Wow (the Big thing and the De Niro thing). I would certain qualify as a De Niro doubter (wait until 1995, when I shit all over the vastly overrated Heat), but even I think old Bobby is first tier. Godfather II, Taxi Driver, Mean Streets, The Deer Hunter (which, incidentally, I hate), Raging Bull, The King of Comedy, The Mission, Untouchables, Goodfellas, Midnight Run, Awakenings, and This Boy's Life? That's not bad. That he hasn't been in anything decent since Meet the Parents (nine years ago)--aside, interestingly enough, from his brief appearance in the very good (if overlong) The Good Shepherd, which he also directed--certainly works against him, but he's gotta be top tier.

Other nominees...

Die Hard: was tempted to make this my #1 for '88, but it's probably a bit too one note for that (says the guy that picked Hoosiers for 1986). Still, Die Hard remains totally awesome.

Rain Man: if you're like me, you probably remember the kick-ass blackjack montage, Hoffman and Cruise driving in that convertible, the K-mart reference, the People's Court reference, Hoffman's meltdown re: the bathtub, the toothpick scene, and the thing with the jukebox...and that's probably it. Case in point: do you remember why Cruise is driving Hoffman across the country? Me neither (I looked it up: it's to meet with Cruise's lawyers). Doesn't make it a bad movie, just one that, in retrospect, doesn't amount to a whole lot. There's no there there.

(Also, somewhat inexplicably, I own this soundtrack--instrumental only--on vinyl. Like: I actually made a point of going out and buying it.)

The Naked Gun: afraid to watch this again, for fear that it's secretly dreadful...but, my God, was it ever funny twenty years ago.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit?:
see explanation for previous nominee. (Am I wrong in thinking that this movie was remarkably mature--and I'm not even talking about the LaserDisc version, where, if you watch it in slow motion, you can see Jessica Rabbit's naughty bits in places--for a "kids" movie? I would love to see a feature in Psychology Today comparing movies we watched as kids--Gremlins, WFRR?, Temple of Doom--to the movies kids today watch--the Disney and Pixar catalogue, SpongeBob, etc.--and then a determination of how much more fucked up we are than the current generation as a result.)

Bull Durham: lots of fun, and I'm willing to acknowledge as much, so long as people admit that it's a cute romcom...that just so happens to feature baseball players...and not the other way around ...and not the other way around. Case in point: the scene with the mound visit where the players and coaches are discussing what a suitable wedding gift is? Delightful...but would never in a million years happen in an actual baseball game. Am I being petty? Absolutely! But I'm also not wrong.

movie from 1988 that I probably should've seen by now: Dangerous Liasons...also: J'Accuzzi.

Mark: Wait a minute, Die Hard is one-note?! It's an action movie! How many notes does it need? Also, in regards to Rain Man, remember Valerie Golino? What the hell happened to her? She was in tons of movies in the late 80's/early 90's and then just dropped off of the face of the earth. I suspect she went to a top-secret clinic in Zurich, had her Italian-ness surgically removed and then re-emerged as Rashida Jones.

Kyle: lol. Yeah...that was actually a stupid thing to write about Die Hard. ([grumble, grumble] "I wanted more character development...") My bad.

1989: Say Anything...: '89 strikes me as a really deep draft class with no real Hall of Famers. By which I mean, Say Anything...--which I didn't see until 2003 or so--is, pretty clearly, a wonderful movie, but it ain't exactly cracking anyone's all-time Top 10, is it now? I just happen to like it slightly more than anything else that came out in 1989. That's alright. Some years are like that. Like many mid- to late-80s movies, I feel it's victimized by its one iconic scene (Cusack holding the stereo over his head outside Ione Sky's house), in that people tend to remember that part at the expense of the rest of the film. (Other examples: the jewelry case scene in Pretty Woman, the giant piano sequence in Big, and the batdance in Batman...ok, maybe not that last one.) Here, the ending serves to obscure the fact that this is probably the best writing Cameron Crowe's ever done. (That this is the same person that would go on to write and direct the positively atrocious and virtually unwatchable Elizabethtown--ostensibly, also a romcom--is kind of staggering.)

Excellent performances here by Cusack, Skye (WTHIGOW her, btw?), and John Mahoney....and full credit to this film for beginning as what seems like a forgettable generic romantic comedy, but actually delivering so much more. Make no mistake, it's still a romcom, but at least it's one that presents the viewer with realistic obstacles between the two leads. As an added bonus, John Mahoney is one of the few token romcom parents that actually brings something to the table (I won't spoil if you haven't seen it, but suffice to say his C-story becomes a B-story about two-thirds of the way through the movie, and an engaging one at that).

Mark: Man, aside from Full Metal Jacket, I haven't seen ANY of your top picks yet. This is getting sad. I think Ione Skye literally didn't work again until she played Ann's mother on Arrested Development ("I want to please you secularly!")

Kyle: I forgot that was her! Nice.

Other nominees....

Do The Right Thing: this is going to sound so stupid, but do you know what DTRT is great at? Conveying heat. It's basically impossible to watch this film and not empathize with Mookie, in that cramped apartment with that tiny fan, sweating his balls off...and just being miserable. May seem like a small thing, but it hooked me. This is also why I'm a bigger fan of Summer of Sam than pretty much anyone I know. If you catch it again (though it's never on, so you'd probably have to rent it), note Spike Lee's use of orange, red, and yellow filters throughout. Half the time NYC seems like it's about to explode (literally), which, thematically, is of course perfect for a movie about serial killer on the loose.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade:
secretly awesome, the final third in particular.

Batman:
I was going to ask whether you thought this was the 2nd or the 3rd best movie in the series, but I went back and double-checked your best superhero movies list from last May and saw that Batman Begins was #1 (now, presumably, #2) and that the original Batman is #7 (now #8), so that settles that. What really surprised me is that you seem to have Batman and Batman Returns (#9) as more or less even, while I think the former is far superior to the latter, which really foreshadowed the campiness the series would quickly descend into. Anyway, here's perhaps a better question...who is a better Batman/Bruce Wayne: Bale or Keaton? Hint: my answer might surprise you.

Field of Dreams:
terribly sappy, but it's hard not to like this movie. My problem now is that, as a result of a frequent exchange between Misha (erstwhile blog contributor) and (friend of blog) Jeff Teolis, the emotional heart of the movie--"hey dad, wanna have a catch?"--now causes be to descend into a giggle fit paroxysms of laughter.

movie from 1989 that I probably should've seen by now: My Left Foot: note that, had Carrie been aware of this at the time, there's about a 25% chance she wouldn't have accepted my proposal...)

Mark: Bale is the better Bruce Wayne, but Keaton (though I totally don't subscribe to the 'Bale makes his Batman voice sound too silly' theory) is the better Batman. I wouldn't call 'Returns' any campier than the original; I mean, Joker pulled a 15-foot long gun out of his pocket and shot down the Batplane. That seems higher on the camp scale to me than Penguin's circus of crime. And wait, how is Last Crusade 'secretly' awesome? That's one of the few movies I know of that everyone loves.

Kyle: I think you're spot on about Keaton vs. Bale (although I will say that I like Keaton's interpretation of Wayne--suave--better than Bale's--kind of detached). As for Last Crusade, I say "secretly awesome" because I feel like #3 is treated as almost an afterthought to Indy fans. Everyone loved Raiders and then disliked/tolerated/or were indifferent to Doom. So when Crusade came out, everyone was relieved that it was more Raiders than Doom...and seemed content to leave it at that, when in fact Crusade is every inch the movie Raiders is and may, in fact, be even better.

1990: Goodfellas: the best movie of the decade...though my pick for '91 is close. I love how the movie covers 25 years (where a less confident director probably would've gone for half of that). I love the editing (tons of quick cuts). I love the soundtrack (though Scorcese would quickly become a parody of himself by doing the exact same thing with Casino, with seriously diminishing returns). And I love the intense paranoia of the third act. With a strung out Henry driving to the airport to pick up their drug mule, the helicopters buzzing overhead, and the tight handheld camera work, you, too, start to feel just a little bit twitchy. Finally, I love how Ray Liotta (do you remember him? He used to make really good movies...) unexpectedly breaks down the fourth wall in the film's penultimate scene. Just a fabulous film.

Other nominees...

Pretty Woman:
yeah, yeah, "wanna know how I know you're gay? You have Pretty Woman on your list of best movies for 1990." Screw it, I think it's winning.

Reversal of Fortune:
oddly, though Ron Silver's Alan Derschowitz is ostensibly the film's central character (it's based on his book, after all), it's Jeremy Irons (as Claus van Bulow) that carries this film. Without him, I have no doubt this would be totally forgotten. Worth seeing if you haven't already.

Miller's Crossing:
The best film noir this side of, say, Chinatown (and that's pretty heady company). I would give almost anything to shoot a scene as gorgeous as the forest execution. (Although, evidently, I'm not nearly so gay for it as Richard Corliss, who put it on his list of the 100 best films ever, and breathlessly described it as: "[film] noir with a touch so light, the film seems to float on the breeze like the Frisbee of a fedora sailing through the forest." Sure.)

Edward Scissorhands:
a sublimely executed dark fantasy. Easily my favorite Burton (and, come to think of it, Depp) movie. Amazingly, in a review I imagine he wishes he could have back, Roger Ebert panned the movie (click here for the suprisingly harsh review--dare I say he "shreds" it? Oh my god, I'm so sorry.)

movie from 1990 that I probably should've seen by now: Dances with Wolves

Mark: Goodfellas was pretty awesome, no question. Arguably his best directing job....though of course, not better than Kevin Costner's directorial flair (*shakes fist at Academy*). 'Pretty Woman' is a TERRIBLE movie. Virtually unwatchable. The funny thing is, if it had been done as a satire or as a drama, it would've been worthwhile. But as a straight romantic comedy? Give me a break.

Kyle: see, now you've put in the awkward position of noting that, about twenty paragraphs ago, you said you'd never seen Pretty Woman. Pick a side, Shuk, we're at war. As for Dances with Wolves, it virtually running the table in 1990 (except, very tellingly, in the three acting categories where it was nominated) never really stops being annoying.

1991: JFK: also has the distinction of being the only movie I can ever recall having an intermission (thank you, Capitol!). JFK happens to be the first movie I was ever really passionate about in a critical manner, in that I devoured absolutely every book I could get my hands on about Kennedy for the the 12-18 months following the film's release. (And no 13-year old should ever be as excited as I was when JFK took home its lone Oscar--for cinematography.) Nearly two decades on, I can see now that it's by no means a perfect movie--Kevin Bacon's character is totally extraneous and could easily have been cut from the film (which makes the fact that his character turns out to be a composite of several people--something I later discovered--even more annoying); the stuff with Garrison's family is pretty tedious; and so forth. But there are moments in movie that are so spectacular (Garrison talking to Donald Sutherland's X on that park bench, which leads into possibly the best montage ever committed to celluloid that doesn't involve the Hickory Huskers or Rocky scaling the tallest mountain in Russia) and so compelling (the trial itself, which is superbly executed), that I can easily forgive everything else. I think it's brilliant.

Mark: Kyle, stand back, since I'm about to blow the mind of your 13-year-old self. JFK actually won TWO Oscars, one for cinematography and one for editing. The editing Oscar, btw, may have been the most deserved award in the history of the Academy, given that Joe Hutshing and Pietro Scalia managed to cut Stone's directorial diarrhea into a somewhat coherent narrative. Over/under on the amount of Jack Daniels shots drunk by Hutshing and Scalia during the editing process: 312. Your list is making me feel like a dick. I either haven't seen your top choices, disliked them (JFK) or thought they should be halved (Full Metal Jacket). But I liked Goodfellas! That makes me a good fella in your books, right?

Kyle: No. (Wow...two Oscars! My worldview has been shaken.)

Other nominees...

The Silence of the Lambs: could easily be #1 for this year (it's undeniably great), but I gave JFK the nod because I feel it's slightly (considerably?) more audacious. (If you think about it, Lambs is very much a two-person play--no, Shuk, not like Love Letters.) Here's a question: how come I never hear anyone talk about TSOTL kicking off the torture porn era? Admittedly, it's a bit of a stretch, since the Saw and Hostel series (along with lesser fair like Turristas and the Ruins) don't emerge on the scene until 2004, but can't their roots be found in the harrowing scenes between Buffalo Bill and the girl in the hole (Catherine Martin)? You could, I suppose, make a case that this all dates back to Friday the 13th and Halloween, but those are straight-up slasher movies. This intrigues me.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: two Costner movies in one year? Holy shit! Look, I've always felt that, provided you can get beyond the lack of an accent on Costner's part (and if you're still pissed he didn't even try, I urge you to check out Thirteen Days, a tremendous movie that Costner single-handedly nearly torpedoes with his horrific attempt at a Boston accent), this movie is pretty damn entertaining. I'm more than willing to concede that movie works far better when you're 12 than when you're nearly (sob) 30.

Terminator 2:
Despite my bitching about T2 in my write-up of the original (btw, I really liked Peter's comment about T2 being an inversion of T1--had never thought of it quite that way), I'm still a big fan of the second one...I just think it's kind of empty. My thinking is this: you can't really identify with Sarah Connor in the film (because she appears to be batshit insane), or John Connor (a whiny bitch), or The Terminator (seems silly now, but in '91, having just seen the original, I was convinced Arnold was going to turn on them). Which leaves us with...the T-1000. Now, make no mistake, Robert Patrick is amazing in the role (one of the ten best villains in history--not sure why he isn't commonly regarded as such), but if the villain is far and away the most interesting part of the movie, well...I dunno, it's strange, isn't it? [obligatory Dark Knight reference here]

The Commitments:
can't believe this one is nearly twenty years old. That's kind of depressing. Truthfully, I barely remember anything about this film, aside from it being a rollicking good time and having a kick-ass soundtrack. That's enough.

movie from 1991 that I probably should've seen by now: Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse

Mark: Interesting point about 'Lambs' and the torture-porn movies. I guess the difference, ultimately, is that a) Demme is actually a good director, whereas the Saw and Hostel movies are made by a cavalcade of hacks and b) there is very little actual violence or gore in TSOTL. The terror is almost entirely psychological, which is obviously far creepier than just showing, say, Buffalo Bill skinning a woman.

The best part about Prince of Thieves is Alan Rickman (note: this sentence can be re-used for virtually every Alan Rickman movie). I'm intrigued by this upcoming Robin Hood movie that Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe are working on, where Crowe will play both Robin Hood AND the Sheriff of Nottingham. My favourite production anecdote thus far has been that Sienna Miller was fired from the role of Maid Marion and replaced by Cate Blanchett because Blanchett was closer to Crowe in age. What great reasoning. They couldn't have just said "Cate Blanchett is a way, way better actress" rather than looking like idiots for making it seem as if they just now realized the 20+ year age gap between Miller and Crowe? This movie is off to a roaring start.

Kyle: I can't decide if the version of Sienna Miller being canned I read about is more or less embarrassing. Allegedly, she was let go because Crowe had gotten too fat (and refused to lose the weight) and Miller looked preposterous next to him. I mean, that's a dig at Crowe and Blanchett (of course, so is the age thing...albeit to a lesser extent). Agreed about Rickman. He's all kinds of awesome (he's a huuuuuge reason I'm a big fan of the 1995 version of Sense and Sensibility).

Next up: 1992-1997

Saturday, February 21, 2009

"This is exactly the sort of daringly obvious manipulation the Academy loves to reward!"

Oscar Preview and (abbreviated) Best Movies of 2008 post

Going to try something a little different here, since I have visions of my brother dry heaving at the mere thought of me doing an extensive category by category breakdown (aka "Kyle picks 'em all....even the loser categories") of the Oscars (I liked it, but whatever). At any rate, Shuk is better at it than me, so see here for his picks. Instead, I'm going to provide you with: (1) my Top 30 Movies of the Year list (sans comments); and (2) my scanned (unofficial!) Oscar ballot, complete with annotations (h/t to Sarah for the idea). I think if you click on the individual pages, it should pop up in full screen mode, but, if you're using Firefox at least, I'd recommend using Crtl + or Crtl - to adjust.

Ten Most Disappointing (from least to most disappointing):

T10. Leatherheads
T10. 21
9. Semi-Pro (#9 not because it didn't suck--it so did--but because my expectations were so low)
8. Pineapple Express
7. Frozen River
6. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
5. Redbelt
4. Jumper
3. Wanted
2. X-Files: I Want to Believe
1. (by a wide margin) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Haven't seen: Hellboy II, Changeling, The Class, Gran Torino, W., Happy-Go-Lucky, Quantum of Solace, 4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, or Synecdoche, New York.

My Top 30

T30. Funny Games
T30. Young People Fucking
29. Burn After Reading
28.
The Reader
27. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
26. Ghost Town
25. Get Smart
24. Role Models
23. The Strangers
22. Frost/Nixon
21. RocknRolla
20. Milk
19. Tropic Thunder
18. Revolutionary Road
17. Man on Wire
16. Rachel Getting Married
15. The Bank Job
14. Slumdog Millionaire
13. Cloverfield
12. The Incredible Hulk
11. Waltz With Bashir
10. Doubt
9. In Bruges
8. The Visitor
7. Forgetting Sarah Marshall
6. Let the Right One In
5. The Wrestler
4. Step-Brothers
3. Wall*E
2. The Dark Knight
1. Iron Man

My Oscar ballot:

highlighted in pink = should win; circled = will win

Thursday, February 12, 2009

"First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like..."

Shuk and Kyle Team-Up: The Best Movies of Our Lives, Part One: 1979 - 1985

This fulfills my contractual obligation (we're getting paid for this, right?) to mention that, because I'm staggeringly old, my picks start in 1979, while Shuk's commence in 1981.

Kyle's Picks: 1979 - 1985

I just wanted to go on the record here that these nominees are what I would consider the most satisfying films of a particular year...which, to me, means "best" (it's what allows me, short of some serious cognitive dissonance, to make Superbad the 4th best movie of 2008).

1979 Nominees:

Mad Max: the original Mad Max, mind you (i.e. with the Australian accents, not the dubbed American version). Sure, it's low budget; sure, there isn't much plot to it (as near as I can tell, it's (SPOILER ALERT): man meets girl, girl is murdered by vicious biker gang, man goes out and viciously murders the biker gang, credits), but, man oh man, is it ever entertaining. I remember that the first time I watched it (probably ten years ago by now), I was overcome with a sense of dread almost immediately after the film began--the gang was too unsettling, and their leader (Toecutter, played pitch-perfectly by Hugh Keays-Byrne, who apparently capitalized on the success of this film by making the bold decision to never appear in another quality movie) too unstable for something awful not to happen to Gibson or his wife. Then, when it does happen, you sort of let your guard down, only to be treated to an absolutely riveting final act (complete with possibly the darkest final five minutes of any movie not named Requiem For a Dream).

Time After Time: H.G. Wells and Jack the Ripper traveling through time plus a foxy Mary Steenburgen in one of her first film roles--what's not to love here? Nothing, Shuk. Nothing.

The Muppet Movie: awesome movie, with some surprisingly meta moments that, no doubt, completely went over my head when I was five (notably: their story is the movie they're making at the end--suck it, fourth wall).

Being There: meh...this is here almost by default, since I can't stand Apocalypse Now and haven't seen Kramer vs. Kramer (yes, I'm in law school). I know some people--my father, in particular--adore this film, but put anyone other than Peter Sellers in the role of Chance and no one would ever have heard of this flick.

Breaking Away: my cursory research for this project reveals that this won Best Picture at the '79 Golden Globes, a surprisingly shrewd move by the HWPA (the Oscar went to K v. K).

Winner: Breaking Away: just a delightful movie, which, at its core, is an incredibly simple story about a father and a son who can't relate, class divisions, and (somewhat improbably) cycling. (Also: check out how awesome the original poster is, with what almost looks like a typographical error.) Heartwarming without being treacly, and, my sense is, it resonates just as much now as it did thirty (!!) years ago. (On AFI's List of the 100 Most Inspiring Films, released in 2005, it's a respectable #8--inexplicably: one spot behind The Grapes of Wrath--easily one of the five most depressing films I've ever seen--and five spots ahead of Hoosiers. Note that if you did, in fact, cry while watching Rudy Shuk, you're going to sob uncontrollably with this revelation: Rudy finished 54th...four spots behind Seabiscuit.)

Remember when Hollywood made good sports movies...or even good coming of age movies, Shuk? Of course you don't. Me neither. By my count, the last great sports movie was Friday Night Lights (which came out five years ago) and the last great coming of age movie is, what...Billy Eliot? In 2000?? Now I'm bummed out. Time to cue up Hoosiers...

Movie from 1979 that I really should've seen by now: (tie) Manhattan (and I just saw Annie Hall over the Christmas break) and Kramer vs. Kramer.

Mark: Well, we're off to a good start. I haven't seen three of the five films on your list, and one of the two I have seen (Muppet Movie) I haven't seen since I was about five. Impossibly, I haven't seen Mad Max, though I have seen Road Warrior (in high school history class, of all places). I greatly enjoyed Being There and really, Peter Sellers is straight-up awesome. There isn't much this guy couldn't do. He definitely belongs on the short list of greatest actors of the 20th century. And if you want to be REALLY depressed, check out ESPN's list of the best sports movies ever. It is truly reprehensible from start to finish, with some jaw-dropping omissions. For one instance, no Slap Shot.

Now, since I wasn't alive in 1979, here's what my top five WOULD have been: Alien (surprised you didn't include it), Being There, The Jerk, Muppet Movie (I'll presume it was as good as my young mind remembers) and the winner, Monty Python's Life Of Brian. Truly a brilliant comedy.

Kyle: no Karate Kid--inexplicably--on that ESPN list from years back. I was positive Simmons' head was going to explode, but I don't think he even mentioned it. I've enjoyed the Alien series (of the three I've seen) and probably should've include the first one ahead of Being There...but neither movie made much of an impact on me. Can we pause and high five ourselves for not including Apocalypse Now anywhere among our ten from 1979? I'm just so happy about that.

1980 Nominees:

Superman II: aka, the only good film in the series (I refuse to argue about this).

Raging Bull: is it fair for me to knock an admittedly awesome movie for being unrelentingly bleak? Possibly not. Nevertheless...I'm going to. I like Raging Bull quite a bit, but I've resented it's status as the "best sports movie ever made"--in large part because it's not really a sports movie at all. DeNiro and Pesci are both excellent, and the ilm is thoroughly devastating, but it's not as if anyone is coming back to this movie three or four times a year.

The Empire Strikes Back: of the original trilogy, this is the only one I really like.

Ordinary People: I know that, in some circles, OP is viewed as sort of a fraudulent Best Pic winner (the consensus seems to be that Raging Bull was far more deserving), but I feel like this movie is unfairly maligned. The four main performances--Mary Tyler Moore (as, more or less, the worst human being in the world), Donald Sutherland, Timothy Hutton, and Judd Hirsch--are uniformly spectacular, and the story itself (which, make no mistake, if done today would absolutely be a horrid Hallmark Hall of Fame Sunday night movie) is quite moving in places. Accordingly, I'm going to deem it one of the few Best Pic winners that is actually underrated.

The Shining: not perfect by any stretch, but legitimately terrifying (sometimes, even for reasons having nothing to do with Shelley Duvall's face).

Winner: Superman II: prior to 2008, this was my #1 superhero movie of all-time. Now? It's a solid #3 behind The Dark Knight and Iron Man. Superman II nails virtually everything, including righting a couple of the major wrongs from the original (too corny, bad villians, an ending--Supes reversing Earth's rotation to turn back time to save Lois--that serves to nullify the entire film...if not the franchise). The Kryptonians (General Zod, in particular) are actually scary (and serve as an excellent reminder of how dangerous Superman, were he constituted differently, could actually be to the planet's survival), and there are at least two scenes that are genuinely chilling (Zod confronting the President in the Oval Office and, later, a depowered Superman getting brutally beaten in a Metropolis diner, as a horrified Lois looks on).

The only misstep (aside from Hackman continuing to inexplicably camp it up as Lex Luthor) is the inclusion of Margot Kidder (as Lois Lane), who, despite (what I assume are) her best efforts, cannot act her way out of a Daily Planet-issue brown paper bag. Oh...and the amnesia-inducing kiss that closes the film. That was worse than the ending to Taken. [waits for high five]

Movie from 1980 that I really should've seen by now: (tie) The Elephant Man and Atlantic City (I know. I suck.)

Mark: My best of 1980...Airplane!, Caddyshack, Empire Strikes Back, Raging Bull (even though I wouldn't even put it in Scorsese's top five) and, the winner, The Shining. My favourite Shining story was when me and the guys were watching it for the first time back around 2003, and we were all pumped to watch this legendary horror flick. We inserted the disc into the DVD player, only to watch the drive immediately open up against after initially going into the machine. After a moment of silence, my friend Bryan chimes in with a perfectly-timed, "Oh my God, the movie is haunting the DVD player." Honourable mention goes to Superman II and a movie that I loved when I was seven, The Gods Must Be Crazy (I've never seen Ordinary People). I'm obviously not as keen on Superman II as you are. Honestly, Donner's original vision of having one epic movie that incorporates both Superman I and II would've been a better idea, since it could've cut the fat from both pictures. Campy Luthor literally ruins the movie for me. How is it possible that we're 2-for-2 on movie Jokers and 0-for-2 on movie Luthors. Shouldn't Lex be a slam-dunk role for a good actor?

Kyle: excellent question. I mean, Spacey is perfectly serviceable as Luthor (importantly, he actually manages to convey real menace, particularly during the scenes on his yacht at the end and pretty much everything on that Kryptonian continent, which: worst superhero scheme ever). I like your list, although it's sort of miraculous how remarkably poorly Caddyshack has aged, isn't it? I caught it a month ago on cable and Carrie was very much, "wait, this is the movie that everyone thinks is hysterical?"

1981 Nominees

Chariots of Fire: not, admittedly, a transcendent script, but it's very watchable...and has one of the all-time great scores.

The Road Warrior: ...not to be confused with the WWF tag team. Great movie, even better than the original (the less said about #3, the better), with a final half-hour that's completely mind-blowing. Fun fact (which I may have already mentioned here): the final line of the movie ("he exists now only in my memory") is identical to the final line in Titanic which is either a loving tribute, or James Cameron being a huge doucher.

Raiders of the Lost Ark: definitely falls under the "I first saw this when I was five and I thus love it unconditionally." (It's the same reason Starlight Express is my favorite play.)

Gallipoli: wow, three years and three Mel Gibson entries. At this ra--wait, this is actually the final Mel Gibson entry on the list. Arguably, this movie has the best non-twist ending ever.

An American Werewolf in London: sorry, Das Boot, you probably deserve to be the fifth nominee here. I just like Werewolf more. Contains possibly the coolest music cue ever, wherein Van Morrison's "Moondance" kicks in, followed by David (the aforementioned American werewolf) has sex was the hot nurse in every room in her apartment. (In retrospect, this makes us using it for the mother-son/father-daughter dance at our wedding slightly creepy.)

Winner: Raiders of the Lost Ark: after Carrie and I went to see Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull and I was so disgusted I could barely speak, Carrie was adamant that, if I went back and watched the first three movies in the series, I'd discover that they, too, were extraordinarily campy (and not particularly good). With all due respect to my wife (whom, I hope it goes without saying, I love dearly) and with the exception of IJ and the Temple of Doom (which, as it happens, is extraordinarily campy and not particularly good), she is dead wrong here, as Raiders, 28 years on, remains a classic.

Movie from 1981 that I really should've seen by now: Reds

Mark: I apparently missed the boat on the Mad Max series. As I mentioned I've only seen Road Warrior once, back in high school, so I may have been more concerned with catching a few z's before last period shop class. Now, logically speaking, if there's another Indy movie on the way, it should be outstanding due to the series' great-blah-great-blah pattern. And let's at least hope it's an INDY movie, not fucking Mutt Williams.

Kyle: really having a tough time picturing you in shop class. Speaking of strange movies to watch in class, I saw The Gods Must be Crazy (which I recall being awful) over two history classes and the first hour of Highlander (!) in Grade 11 English. Ah, high school. So awesome.

1982 Nominees

Blade Runner: released in '82, but set in 2019, I firmly believe that if you ask someone who had never seen/heard of it now, they'd think it was released far closer to the latter date than the former. It's a grim masterpiece...and one of my all-time favorites.

ET: as I've maintained for fifteen years now: this movie is horribly overrated (though I have no doubt that it's one of the five best of this particular year).

Fast Times at Ridgemont High: a veritable who's who of people that would later become quite famous (Sean Penn, Eric Stoltz, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Nicolas Cage, Anthony Edwards, Forest Whitaker, and Judge Reinhold)...and Phoebe Cates. This movie is probably best remembered for its terrific soundtrack (although, ironically, the most memorable track--"Living in Stereo"--aka "the song that plays while Reinhold pleasures himself in the bathroom while dreaming about Cates" isn't on the album).

Tootsie: pretty sure this is going to be your pick, so I'll be brief: I don't quite buy all the hype surrounding Tootsie. I mean, it's undeniably good, but, unlike many, I don't think it rises to the level of great.

Diner...I guess. Jesus...really?? Man, that's a weak crop of movies in '82!

Winner: Blade Runner: and, with respect to every other movie released this year, it's not even particularly close. I just got the 5-disc BluRay set and the movie is even better than I remember (though I remain steadfast in my refusal to accept that, in Scott's Director's Cut, Deckard is supposed to be a replicant, which I think makes all of Deckard's very cool interactions with potential replicants pretty redundant).

There's a great line that closes the BR entry in David Thomson's highly readable Have You Seen...?: A Personal Introduction to 1,000 Films (although not so readable that I actually bought it, though I spent a good hour going through it at Borders) where Thomson, after raving about the film for 1,000 or so words, notes: "Blade Runner was not nominated for Best Picture in 1982, with Gandhi being the eventual winner. That is the only mention of Gandhi in this book." BAM! As you're about to find out, I haven't even seen Gandhi, but that's funny.

Movie from 1982 that I really should've seen by now: Gandhi

Mark: No comments on Fast Times? I also don't buy the 'Deckard is a replicant' reading of the film, since otherwise the movie makes a good deal less sense. Sometimes it's best if the director just shuts up and lets everyone interpret his/her movie in different ways. btw, how in the world was Rutger Hauer so good in BR and then he went on to be in nothing but forgettable dreck for the next 25 years?

Kyle: man...I'm mortified that I didn't mention Hauer. Add "Roy Batty" to the list of "characters who couldn't possibly be played by anyone other than the person that played them." His final scene is so well-acted that it never fails to almost make me cry. He was really good in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002) and also Sin City (2005), but, yeah, that's a looooooong drought, with lots of shit parts (by my count, according to his imdb profile, about sixty of them).

1983 Nominees

The Right Stuff: the second this film lost Best Pic to the saccharine Terms of Endearment, the Academy should've packed it in...as in forever (sample excerpt from that press release: "it's really your fault for letting us continue after we gave Best Picture to How Green Was My Valley over Citizen Kane. How the fuck did everyone let this go on for another four decades?? We're obviously totally incompetent...")

Risky Business: do you know who directed RB? No, you do not. It's Paul Brickman...who has done absolutely nothing of consequence in the intervening 25 years. (Seriously: check.) I re-watched this in the summer and it holds up quite nicely as a dark fantasy.

The Big Chill: now, obviously, this movie couldn't possibly resonate with us as much as it did with our parents generation, so my praise will be on a far narrower basis: it seems to really nail the whole "old friends getting together for a weekend" dynamic. (The counter-example is the awful beyond belief Margot at the Wedding.) Seeing Glenn Close and William Hurt (great here) ham it up on the so obviously making-it-up(-and-not-at-all-well)-as-we-go-along Damages is surprisingly painful.

A Christmas Story: the second best Christmas movie ever, trailing only Love, Actually (is so).

WarGames: This may well be my Vanilla Ice moment for the movie team-up, but screw it, I love WarGames.

Winner: The Right Stuff: ironically, though the improvements in special effects would make this film far more visually appealing in 2009, this movie could never be made today. The Chuck Yeager storyline would've been scrapped (or, worse, Yeager would've been played as a cocky asshole); it would've been directed by Michael Bay; and the astronauts would (to the extent they would be depicted as individuals at all) all hate each other. It would look absolutely gorgeous...but would be completely empty. What makes The Right Stuff so great is that director Phillip Kaufamn wasn't afraid to make this big movie about small things: Yeager's envy, Grissom's bitterness, Shephard's assuredness, even Glenn's wife's shyness. (Also: terrific poster.) A near-perfect movie.

Movie from 1983 that I really should've seen by now: The King of Comedy

Mark: I've seen King of Comedy, and it's a very tough omission from my 1983 list. It's a real departure for both Scorsese and De Niro, particularly De Niro --- he's made such a career out of playing 'Robert De Niro,' especially in the last 10-15 years, that it's kind of stunning to see him playing an actual character....especially a character that's basically David Arquette. Ok, that tears it, I've apparently been living a wasted life since I've never seen The Right Stuff. Let's face it, the Oscar has been awarded to the actual best picture of the year maybe a half-dozen times in the Academy's 80+ year history. All I hope for now is that the winner isn't terrible (I'm looking at you, A Beautiful Mind). Fun fact: Philip Kaufman wrote 'The Outlaw Josey Wales,' has a story credit for 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' and directed the very well-received 'The Unbearable Lightness of Being' and 'Quills.' Interesting career. And don't worry about WarGames, I liked it too. I also enjoyed the War Games, the old WCW five vs. five steel cage match. Gratuitious YouTube clip: Sid Vicious misjudging the height of the cage and nearly breaking Flyin' Brian Pillman's neck.

Kyle: My nominees aren't finalized, but I think my top pick for each year is, and, so far as I can tell, only once does it coincide with the film that one Best Picture. Not sure whether to be horrified or delighted. Five vs. five in wrestling? That's just such an odd number. Was Bischoff planning some sort of XBA I'm not aware of?

1984 Nominees

This is Spinal Tap: hilarious...and one of the three or four most quotable movies of my lifetime.

The Terminator: better than T2.

The Natural: this one, much to my dismay, has not held up nearly as well. This has a fair bit to do, I think, with the recently released director's cut, which stupidly re-arranges the opening seqeuence (making it far less engaging in the process) and adds (restores, really) so much material to the first act that the movie seems interminable. Still, even in this bastardized form, there are more than enough chill moments (striking out the Whammer, knocking the cover off the ball, the final sequence) to push this into contention.

The Karate Kid: I won't lie, as I get older, it becomes increasingly difficult to overlook the fact that the film's ostensible hero (Daniel LaRusso) is a whiny bitch for a good 95% of the film.

Footloose: admit it...you love this movie.

Amadeus: so far as I can tell, this is the first movie I've included that's on your list of shame, so, much to delight, you can't criticize anything I say here. (Suck it.) This isn't going to be my pick for the year, but I do think it was a worthy Best Picture winner. Question: has anyone had a worse film career after being nominated in a lead acting category than Tom Hulce? Arguably no (though give Halle Berre ten more years and it might be a real horse-race). In Hulce's defense, I think his emphasis these days is on theatre.

Gremlins: re-watched this with Carrie over the Christmas Break and, my God, is it ever twisted. Can I retroactively call Child Services on my parents?

Note: this is the point where we'll have to stop this collaboration, since me choosing seven nominees for '84 (and still somehow leaving out Ghostbusters), will undoubtedly cause Shuk's head to explode.

Winner: This is Spinal Tap. This allows me to, once again, grouse about comedies being totally ignored by the Academy (the last true--otherwise, you could make a pretty strong case for Shakespeare in Love--comedy to win Best Picture? Annie Hall in...1978!). That really does drive me crazy, especially since making good comedy is so much harder than making good drama. Anyway, I digress. Spinal Tap deserves high marks for putting mockumentaries on the map (without it, we probably don't get Best in Show or Waiting for Guffman), but, historical impact aside, it's outrageously funny in its own right. It's worth getting the DVD of the film for the audio commentary alone--which is done in character--wherein the band trashes the film's director (Rob Reiner as Marty DiBergi) for making them look like idiots. Just a terrific movie.

Movie from 1984 that I really should've seen by now: (tie) Once Upon a Time in America and The Killing Fields

Mark: SEVEN nominees and you STILL didn't pick Ghostbusters? Good lord. Behind Footloose?! The overlong [Kyle: only the director's cut!] and trying-too-hard Natural? The ruined-by-Bill-Simmons'-constant-jokes Karate Kid?! The now-laughably-dated-and-in-no-way-better-than-T2 Terminator?! I think my head just exploded. Spinal Tap is a very worthy winner, but man, not even including Ghostbusters on the list is a Dark Knight-esque snub job. I think Hulce is topped in the 'worst post-nomination career' tournament by his very own co-star, F. Murray Abraham (FMA, to his fans). And Abraham even won! Somewhere, Salieri is pumping his fist over the fact that the actor playing him got the last laugh over the guy playing Mozart. I think hindsight being 20-20, the Oscar should've gone to Albert Finney in 1984, just to break his unfortunate 0-for-5 career nomination record. btw, Sam Waterston has a lead Oscar nomination to his credit? Who knew?

Kyle: Waterston is supposed to be excellent in The Killing Fields, but, yeah, they definitely kept his movie career under wraps, didn't they? Thank you for comparing me to the Academy, by the way--if you'll excuse me, I'm just going to go run out into oncoming traffic. In retrospect, this is a pretty egregious omission, which I'm now officially chalking up to me being extremely underwhelmed by first hour of Ghostbusters 2 that I caught on AMC last month. All of that said, I'm frankly stunned you prefer T2 to the original. The story is the first film is just so compelling (unless you saw the second one first, I'm calling bullshit on you being able to spot the third act twist), whereas the second one, while cool, is pretty much just a special effects showcase.

1985 Nominees

Back to the Future: this was my first time travel movie...and I was utterly transfixed. It led me to conclude (erroneously, it turns out) that all time travel movies would be awesome (I'm looking at you sequel to the movie I'm actually talking about, Timecop, The Time Machine, Kate & Leopold, and Lost in Space). Did you know that the studio was very close to cutting the seminal Johnny B. Goode scene from the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance? Apparently, it tested through the roof, and was thus saved.

Goonies: probably indefensible. So be it.

Teen Wolf: [pumping my fist]. Fine, I'll say it: anyone under the age of 40 who claims not to like this movie is being disingenuous. How I never went out in a yellow Beavers uniform (wolf or wolfless) for Halloween is beyond me. Plus, making it one of my five nominees allows me to link to this (written by Pasha Malla, a high school buddy of mine) for the upteenth time. And, for good measure, here's the spectacular final ten minutes of the movie (in German, no less!), including "Win in the End," the absolutely out of nowhere song that never stops being awesome...and the exposure/innocent non-exposure goof (you decide) in the film's final five seconds. Finally, here's the awful original trailer to the movie, which thinks so little of the audience that they refer to the main character as Michael J. Fox (and not Scott Howard) and contains approximately 1.5 seconds of basketball footage.

Rocky IV: possibly the most rewatchable movie I've ever seen.

Brazil: here by default (I needed a fifth nominee). I'll be honest, I don't quite get this movie, but I appreciate Gilliam's ambition in making it.

Winner: Back to the Future: I'm not even sure I can talk about this movie rationally, it's just so damn well executed, with something to please everyone: scifi fans, romcom enthusiasts, action junkies...hell, even car lovers (though, according to David Halberstam in The Reckoning, which I'm just about to finish, the DeLorean was an absolute piece of shit). Is there anything else to really say? Doesn't everyone love BTTF? I'm assuming it's your pick, Shuk.

Movie from 1985 that I really should've seen by now: Prizzi's Honor

Mark: Yeah, don't worry, you'll be hearing more about BTTF on my list. We can instead discuss how you put the horrifying uneven Brazil on your list under any circumstances. The only redeeming factor of that movie was Michael Palin's brilliantly creepy performance as Pryce's boss, which marked the first of two times in four years that Palin should have gotten a supporting actor Oscar nom. As for the Teen Wolf costume, there's still time! You could try an ambitious half-Wolf, half-Scott outfit if at all possible. I'm also surprised you didn't mention the recent case of Buccaneers guard Greg White legally changing his name to Stylez G. White in tribute to the Teen Wolf character.

Kyle: I'm pretty amused that I get a pass on Teen Wolf, but you've chosen to excoriate me for Brazil. You're right, it is wildly uneven, but it looks so good that I'm almost (almost) willing to forgive it. (Also: you don't love the mindfuck at the end just a little bit?) At any rate, it's a distant 5th on my list.


Shuk's Picks

1981.....Raiders of the Lost Ark
: It's hard to make a really fun movie. You can make an action-packed movie, a funny movie, a gripping movie, etc. but it's hard to capture that ever-elusive feeling of sheer goofiness for an entire 90-120 minutes. 'Raiders' does it in spades. Two great quotes about the film; first, from Roger Ebert's review: "Spielberg was old enough (34) to have the clout to make the film, and young enough to remember why he wanted to". The second comes from a source I used for an old film class essay about 'Raiders' which essentially stated that while Spielberg and Lucas claimed the Indy series as an homage to old-school pulp novels and swashbuckling adventures, they were actually undermining their own achievement in creating the singular action-comedy that only the Indy series can provide. This marks the last time that George Lucas was humble about anything. The movie also gets bonus points for inspiring this legendary Simpsons opening.

Runners-up....

Blow Out: I'm going to lose all of my film student street cred for saying this, but I prefer this Brian De Palma-directed remake to the original Michelangelo Antonioni version. This may be due to the fact that I grew to hate Antonioni thanks to writing a paper on him in second-year World Cinema.

Chariots of Fire:
The U.S. Congress passed a law in 1982 requiring you to hum the Vangelis score to yourself whenever you're out running. Or, in my case, when you think about running but then spend the afternoon on the couch watching Family Guy reruns.

Gallipoli:
Whoa, flashback to high school history class! Remember when Mel Gibson wasn't crazy?

Ragtime:
I've seen this story in its original novel form, on film and on the stage, and it's good every time, though the movie is probably the weakest version of the three. Fun fact: the musical version I saw on stage in North York starred Brian Stokes Mitchell, perhaps best known for his role as Frasier Crane's upstairs neighbour/nemesis Cam Winston.

Most notable movie I haven't seen: Atlantic City. I have a strong feeling that might go as high at #1 if/when I actually get around to seeing it. I'm a big Burt Lancaster fan. One of the real forgotten/underrated stars of the 20th century.

Kyle: one year and one match, plus we hit on two out of the other four, and the most notable flick we haven't seen. I hereby cancel the remainder of the project, since it'll be totally redundant.

I don't really have anything else to add, except: (1) haven't seen Ragtime, (2) you don't like Blow-Up? Wow. I mean, yeah, it's a bit overrated, but there's a lot to like there; and (3) your Ebert quote about Spielberg reminds me of something I read in Empire a few months back. Apparently, young Spielberg was, around this time, desperate to direct a Bond movie, but the Broccoli family maintained that he was too much of an unknown entity to be given that much responsibility. Deflated, Spielberg moved on to other projects. So the story goes, after he won everything imaginable for Schindler's List, he called again, and asked (kinda dickishly) if his lack of notoriety was still an issue, only to be told that no director should ever eclipse the series, and was thus rejected for being too famous. So it goes.

Shuk: With a few more stinkers like Quantum of Solace, the Broccolis will be begging Senor Spielbergo to ride in and help once again save the franchise. And I don't 'hate' Blow-Up, but I don't love it. The actual concept is pretty brilliant, though perhaps best realized in Coppola's The Conversation in 1974, which tweaks things a bit but still retains a similar premise.

1982.....Tootsie
: Tootsie's quality is even more impressive if you consider how close this movie came to dying in development hell. It went through a bunch of directors and writers before finally settling on Sydney Pollack and Larry Gelbart as the duo who could best massage Dustin Hoffman's ego...um, uh, er, ah, I mean, bring the story to the big screen. That's the ticket. But, in the tradition of troubled productions like Casablanca, Gone With The Wind and Radioactive Man, the end result was gold. Hoffman, for all of his dickishness, was one of the best actors in the world in his prime, and the high-concept hook of Hoffman in drag works because the 'Dorothy Michaels' character is totally convincing even though you know it's actually Hoffman. Tootsie even pokes fun at Hoffman's reputation, like in the scene where his actor character asks for motivation in an audition to be a grape in a Fruit Of the Loom commercial. Not to be forgotten is the great supporting cast --- excellent comic character actors like George Gaynes, Teri Garr (who was robbed of an Oscar by castmate Jessica Lange, btw), Dabney Coleman, Charles Durning, Pollack himself and of course the great Bill Murray. I believe I read somewhere that virtually all of Murray's lines were improvised, or at least Gelbart just left blank spaces in the script that read 'Bill says something funny here.'

Runners-up....

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial: Tough call in making this only a runner-up, though it does hold a special place as one of just two movies to ever make me openly cry. The other is coming up in the 1990's portion of the list. [Kyle: is it The English Patient?]

Fast Times At Ridgemont High: Can you believe that I only just saw this two months ago? My favourite line is Ray Walston's bewildered, "Am I hallucinating?" when Spicolli gets the pizza delivered to class. Lots of people mention this aspect of the film, but I literally cannot believe that Sean Penn (great actor, noted humourless douchebag)'s breakout role came as a goofy stoner.

Rocky III: I had to have one Stallone movie from 1982, and whereas 'First Blood' is just unintentionally hilarious to watch today, 'Rocky III' is both unintentionally hilarious but still a good movie. Carl Weather and Mr. T both deserved supporting actor nominations.

Star Trek II, The Wrath Of Khan: I could write about how this is a great movie no matter if you're a Trek fan or not, but instead I'll just say KKKKKKKHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN! p.s. this new J.J. Abrams version of Star Trek looks like an abomination.

Most notable movie I haven't seen: I've been told that My Favourite Year is totally right up my alley, and since I do enjoy Peter O'Toole, it seems odd that this one has slipped under my radar for all these years. I've also seen Blade Runner, though I'm not sure if it was the original, the director's cut, the super director's cut, the final cut, the 20th anniversary edition, the 25th anniversary edition, the super happy fun ball edition, etc. It's ironic that the movie about replicants ended up having so many replicants made from the original.

Kyle: hmmm...scratch that redundancy point. (I looked up your list of shame to see if BR--my pick--was on it, since, so far as I know, you never talk about it. This confirms that you have, but you should definitely watch it again, since YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE IT IN YOUR TOP FIVE FOR THE YEAR! Sorry.) I like Tootsie just fine--though, truth be told, I barely remember it, and should perhaps heed my own advice and watch it again--but I wasn't nearly as blown away with it as I was by your revelation that Dustin Hoffman was once (and still is?) renowned for being a huge doucher. Benjamin Braddock? Really?? It seems so incongruous. (Tangent: I remain thoroughly annoyed that "high-concept" means the exact opposite of what it should mean.)

Anyway, I like that Murray got the Neil Flynn treatment on the set (or is Flynn getting the Murray treatment? Hmmm.) Haven't seen Star Trek II (or, indeed, any of the Star Trek movies...to the point where the totality of my ST knowledge comes from the Seinfeld episode that introduces the Ross Foundation--it was actually on last night--and Carrie.) That said, I'm looking forward to JJ's version. Care to illuminate on why you're lukewarm? Also: next to Rocky V, III is the worst. Once again, let's recap: Rocky's plan was to let Clubber Lang punch himself tired? And everyone agreed this was a good idea? Why not just move around a lot? Would that not have accomplished the same thing, minus the blunt force trauma to the skull? Huge hole. (And, yeah, I realize that applying logic to a film series about boxers where never once--in six films--does a boxer attempt to block a punch is a little unreasonable. Still...)


Shuk: If it makes you feel better, I had Blade Runner on my 'next five best of 1982' list. I believe the version I saw was the much-criticized 'Harrison Ford does a voiceover and there's a happy ending' version that the studio foisted on Ridley Scott, which then led to the five thousand other versions in subsequent years. Perhaps I need to see the director's cut to really bring it to life for me. Re: Rocky III. Rocky's strategy is actually the very common rope-a-dope strategy most famously used by Muhammad Ali against George Foreman. It's not a bad technique if you're tough enough to withstand that kind of punishment, but then again, Ali ended up with Parkinson's, so it wasn't a total win.

Now, Star Trek. I was actually a huge Trek fan from about 1993 to 1998. I really got into TNG in its last season, went back and watched all of the syndicated reruns and read a few 'guide to the Star Trek universe' books which gave me a pretty broad knowledge of the original series, Deep Space Nine and Voyager despite never actually watching any of them regularly. I guess what I liked most about the Star Trek concept was that they *didn't* do remakes. It would've been easy and profitable to keep retelling the stories of Kirk, Spock and company for years, but instead Gene Roddenberry created the next generation of characters and every subsequent series built on that. If the Trek series was going to be rebooted, so to speak, I'd ideally like to see it keep to its roots and maybe move things forward a century (since TNG, DS9 and Voyager all happened about a century after the original series, so this would keep that process going).


1983.....The Dresser: An outstanding character piece about an aging and increasingly senile actor preparing to go on stage as Lear, though one of the running jokes is that since his troupe does a different play each night, he has trouble remembering exactly which role he's preparing for. This is one of those movies that was well-received at the time (Oscar nominations for picture, director, the two lead actors and script, winning none of them) but seems to have relegated to the dustbin of history. The relationship between Sir (Albert Finney) and Harold (Tom Courtenay) is essentially Burns and Smithers except treated seriously. It's a great little movie for Shakespeare buffs and anyone who's ever been involved in a stage production.

Runners-up....

A Christmas Story: I'll admit it, I'm shocked that this didn't take the top spot for 1983. Is it possible I've just seen it a few too many times?

Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life: I hated this movie when I first saw it 13 years ago, but have some to appreciate it a lot more since. It veers wildly between way over the top and subtle, or at least subtle by Python standards. My favourite bit is Palin and Idle as the two guys struggling to explain why they're both dressed in a tiger costume in the middle of the jungle.

Never Say Never Again: Perhaps my favourite Bond movie. Connery returning to the role in the midst of Roger Moore's increasingly silly movies was like if all of Wings got food poisoning before a big concert, so McCartney had to call on George, Ringo and John to fill in.

Trading Places: Can we end this list with "Looking good, Kyle!" "Feeling good, Mark!"

Most notable movie I haven't seen: Terms of Endearment. For those of you who know James L. Brooks only as the producer of The Simpsons, he won an Oscar for directing this Best Picture winner.

Kyle: wow...not only have I never seen The Dresser, I'd never even heard of it prior to yesterday. (Carrie has seen it. Her verdict: "funny.") As it turns out, The Dresser was directed by Peter Yates, who also directed Breaking Away--my pick for the Best Movie of 1979. Yates, who turns 80 this year (and who also directed Bullitt in 1968), had a hell of a run between '79 and '83, receiving eight Oscar/GG nominations (winning one) and then proceeded to nothing of consequence for the next twenty-five years. Odd that.

Not as odd (wait, did I say "odd"? I meant: "unforgivable"), of course, as you not having The Right Stuff as one of your nominees! (Apu voice): Oh, you have got to be kidding sir...[later]...was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had... [later]...most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?!"


Also, I'm about to blow your mind grapes: I've never seen Trading Places.

Shuk: Well, I've never seen The Right Stuff, so we're even in our mind-grape-blowedness. Most directors' career seem to emulate that of NFL running backs. They can get really hot in a short period of time, but then burn out just as quickly. Going by his IMDB profile, Yates appears to be the Bam Morris of his time.

1984.....Ghostbusters: From my post last year pitting Ghostbusters vs. Back To the Future...

The Ghostbusters franchise has given me joy for almost as long as I remember. I watched the cartoon as a five-year-old, and then on a chance trip to a K-Mart, noticed one of the TVs showing four men with proton packs that looked suspiciously like my animated heroes. Wait a second...there was a Ghostbusters MOVIE?? My young mind was blown. My adolescence was geared around Ghostbusters for the next several years --- I had the toys, dressed up as a Ghostbuster for Halloween, and perhaps most publicly, used to play my own Ghostbusters games during recess at grade school using a pair of sticks as props. This seems weird even in hindsight. Let's just say my school didn't have a child psychologist. (Hell, I still have those two sticks to this day. I keep them around as good luck charms. This may seem unusual, but if I said that I got luck from a severed foot from a bunny, nobody would bat an eye).

I have no doubt that a good portion of the John Dearness population between 1985-1991 remembers me just as 'the Ghostbusters sticks' kid. But regardless, GB is the movie I've seen more than any other in my life, with a guesstimated 200 viewings. I can pretty much go line-for-line if I'm on a hot streak. It just doesn't get any better than the likes of Murray, Aykroyd, Moranis and Ramis all cracking jokes and trying to stop a giant, anthromorphic marshmallow from destroying New York City. Bonus points are added because the legendary 'Real Ghostbusters' cartoon was actually even better than the film and its sequel. Just great stuff all around. While writing this, I went to YouTube and fired up the Ray Parker Jr. theme song AND the "Saving The Day" song from the scene when the Ghostbusters are driving to Dana's apartment and the street caves in on them.

Runners-up....

All Of Me:
Steve Martin should've been Oscar-nominated solely for the scene when he's trying to walk down the street with Lily Tomlin controlling half his body. Remember when Martin was actually in funny comedies, and not awful remakes of Peter Sellers movies?

The Muppets Take Manhattan:
My favourite of the Muppets films. It might be because of the shocking resemblance between my cousin Shelly and her husband to the waitress-and-producer couple in this movie. The most underrated highlight of the movie is Jim Henson's hilarious amnesiac-Kermit-as-an-ad-executive voice.

Stop Making Sense:
Best concert film ever made. Nothing else is even close.

This Is Spinal Tap:
It was a tough call to go with Ghostbusters over this one, since as much as I just rambled on about how GB impacted my life, Spinal Tap is arguably the better movie. It's one of those rare comedies that doesn't just stay funny, but actually gets funnier on repeated viewings since you pick up on even more jokes.

Most notable movie I haven't seen:
Amadeus. It won the Best Picture award and F. Murray Abraham and I share a birthday. I really need to get around to watching this.

Kyle: I'm going to go ahead and assume you've already raked me over the coals above for not including Ghostbusters on the list, so I'll be brief: the sticks. I'm still sort of confused. Were they suppose to represent a proton pack? If so, why did you have two? Were you supposed to be two Ghostbusters? Did you ever cross the streams? (Unrelated to the sticks: why is it written as "Ghost Busters" in the first movie, but as one word everywhere else...including ads for the first movie?)

All of Me is a good pick (this Steve Martin situation is seriously bumming me out. Didn't quite see it coming. He must have a serious gambling problem), as is MTM (great film), and the rest (though, as you know, I still haven't seen SMS), but I'm kind of shocked you didn't make room for Karate Kid, Gremlins, or The Natural. My working theory is that you were so addicted to Ghostbusters that it sucked up all the other time you would've allocated to other movies from '84 (though you probably didn't start watching GB until '86 or '87).

Shuk: Hey, 1984 was a good year. Those are three good choices, but I like my nominees just a bit better. Okay, the sticks. The beauty of the sticks was that they were catch-all props. They could represent a ghost and the proton pack blast hitting said ghost, one was kind of curved so it resembled the handle of a ghost trap, and they could represent other characters (though I was usually the only Ghostbuster in my little stories). I weaved quite a rich tapestry in my nerdiness. The reason for the "Ghost Busters" and "Ghostbusters" anomaly is that the cartoon used the latter version, so the first movie's title was retconned. I think it had something to do with the British 'Ghost Busters' cartoon that featured Larry Storch and a talking ape.

1985.....Back To The Future: So, yes, in that aforementioned Ghostbusters vs. BTTF post (it earns a double link since I put more thought and work into that post than at least half of my university essays), I concluded that while GB was the overall better franchise once you factored in cartoons, video games, etc., the original Back To The Future is overall the best movie of the bunch. And really, BTTF is a natural choice as the ultimate movie of 1985, if for no other reason than the year itself becomes a key plot point. If you took a drink every time Marty or Doc said '1985,' you'd be dead before the Enchantment Under The Sea dance even starts.
So yeah, Back To The Future. It's more or less the perfect movie. Tightly plotted, great acting (nobody could've played Marty and Doc but Fox and Lloyd, and Thomas J. Wilson and Crispin Glover gave career-best performances), funny, suspenseful, a great love story, great music, sci-fi, a period piece and a fucking flying, time-traveling car. Check and mate. It's a movie that I could show to my grandmother or to my neighbour's six-year-old and they'd both enjoy it equally. BTTF could be released tomorrow and not seem even a hint dated. That said, I'm dreading the inevitable remake in 2015 starring (oh I dunno, let's say) one of the Jonas brothers as Marty and Sam Jackson as Doc Brown.

Runners-up....

Anne of Green Gables: Technically a TV movie, but I'm obliged as a Canadian to include it on the list. It cannot be stated enough how far Megan Follows hits the role of Anne Shirley out of the park.

Clue: That's right, it's based on the board game. It featured three endings that differed depending on which ending the theatre you saw it in decided to arbitrarily show that night. I applaud the filmmakers for deciding to just say 'fuck it' and make a movie about a board game as absurdly awesome as possible.

Fletch: The role that Chevy Chase was born to play. [Kyle: see also above comments re: Martin, Steve.]

Witness: I was kind of surprised to learn that this was Harrison Ford's only Oscar nomination, but on second thought, I guess he hasn't really done a whole lot of other "actorly" roles that would get Oscar buzz.

Most notable movie I haven't seen: Technically it should be Best Picture winner Out Of Africa, but let's be honest, the real answers here are The Goonies and Pee Wee's Big Adventure, which I somehow missed for my entire childhood.

Kyle: Agree completely re: BTTF. I adore this movie. I believe it's also the only movie in history featuring a DeLorean to be referenced in the State of the Union. I especially ike that we're both dorky enough to reference the Enchantment Under the Sea dance by name.

Ford should've been nominated for Blade Runner, no doubt. Nothing else really comes to mind. There's a rumor circulating that he's Spielberg's choice to play Andrew Johnson in the upcoming Lincoln biopic (which is only slightly less strange than my fake rumor that Clay Aiken was going to play Franklin Pierce).


Never seen Clue. Is one ending markedly better than the others? If it were deemed Oscar-worthy, would it have to pick one ending for submission? And since I'll probably never have another chance to talk about Clue on the blog: isn't it a massive design flaw that you have to (unless you're playing Family Feud rules and some unlucky person is a non-playing host) check to see if your own answer is correct...and that you're eliminated if you're wrong? This stinks. (Also, I found this enjoyable: Wikipedia lists "deduction" and "dice rolling" as the two "skills required" to play the game. Sounds about right.)

I have, however, seen Out of Africa. Start with Goonies.

Shuk: It's been so long since I've seen 'Clue' that I actually forget what the endings were, except that one of them concludes with Mr. Green saying "And now I'm going to go home and have sex with my wife!" Given that AMPAS probably would've exploded if they had nominated the Clue movie for anything, I guess it's a moot point. And you're right about the Clue game. It's a surprisingly unsatisfying board game to play...I had a version of it for my old Commodore 64 that worked much more smoothly. Ideally you'd almost have to have a non-playing 'host' to moderate. I wouldn't be that much of a drag, since every Clue game takes no longer than 15 minutes and you could just rotate.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

"It's about vampires, ostensibly, you know. But underneath, it's actually about the reunification of Germany..."

Top 25 Albums of 2008

<note: playlist coming soon>

Keeping with my vendetta against the ultra-pretentious Pitchfork (admittedly, about 85% of this is me resenting having to look up words in a music review)--no doubt begging the question: why not just stop reading it? Shut up, that's why...--I'm going to run some of the more egregious Pitchfork reviews in '08 alongside my own picks. Enjoy (or, as it were, don't enjoy)!

25. Viva La Vida | Coldplay: The best song on the album ("Life in Technicolor") isn't even a song so much as an interstitial, bound to be used as a musical cue for European sporting events for the next 30 years. Make no mistake, I don't hate this album by any means, it's just, I dunno...

There's this excellent exchange in "The Two Bartlets" between President Bartlet and Toby Ziegler that goes like this (h/t to "West Wing Transcripts," an invaluable resource):
BARTLET: What do you think?
TOBY: I was a telemarketer for about a week. I can't remember what we were selling, but you worked off a script. 'Hi. Good evening. My name is...' And 'Toby Ziegler' was okay for New York, but once I got into the other time zones, I needed a name. I wasn't gonna bother anybody.
BARTLET: Toby, if you have something to say, please say it.
TOBY: Ritchie's good for all time zones.
BARTLET: My family signed the Declaration of Independence. You think I've got an ethnicity problem?
TOBY: Well, the line isn't between light skin and dark skin.
BARTLET: Yeah?
TOBY: It's between educated and masculine... or eastern academic elite and plain-spoken.
BARTLET: It's always been like that.
TOBY: Yeah, but a funny thing happened when the White House got demystified. The impression was left that anybody could do it.
BARTLET: You're not telling me anything I don't know.
TOBY: It's one thing that Ritchie came out for the Pennsylvania Referendum today, but the manner in which he articulated it. His presence, the clear sign he wasn't personally engaged with the facts.
BARTLET: Toby...
TOBY: His staff was cringing, I promise you, and we let it go.
BARTLET: It wasn't the moment to go.
TOBY: You were asked the question.
BARTLET: [pause] Do you have anything else?
TOBY: [sighs] Sir, I don't think I need to tell you that the level of respect with which the staff speaks of you doesn't change, depending on whether or not you're in the room.
BARTLET: But?
TOBY: Well, there's always been a concern...about the two Bartlets. [beat] The absent-minded professor with the 'Aw, Dad' sense of humor. Disarming and unthreatening. Good for all time zones. And the Nobel Laureate. Still searching for salvation. Lonely, frustrated. Lethal.
And, to me, that pretty much sums up Coldplay at this stage. They're good in all time zones, but totally toothless. And there isn't a thing about that that doesn't make me sad.

24. Walk it Off | Tapes n' Tapes:
PITCHFORK SCORE: 5.9: By nearly all accounts, though, this album could be much worse. Many of the band's best features remain intact, especially their total lack of pretentiousness and austerity. You won't find any symphony-backed lumps of schmaltz or ill-advised stabs at dire social issues, and hey, they even named a very serviceable track here "The Dirty Dirty". However, Walk It Off attempts The Loon's indie patchwork using fewer and larger pieces, causing less-than-stellar ideas and riffs to suddenly become load-bearing pillars for painfully linear three-minute pop songs. As opposed to their ramshackle debut, TnT don't unknowingly stumble upon infectious choruses or head-turning transitions anymore, they contort flimsy songs to contain those elements.
Comment: well, fuck you very much, Pitchfork. I like this album.

True, it's no Loon (which is an absolute gem), but it might be the catchiest album of the year released by someone not named Kanye West. Of particular note is "Hang Them All."

23. Dear, Science | TV on the Radio: like Rob, I'm not ready to anoint this as the second coming of The White Album, but I do think this is a pretty solid outing for TV on the Radio (though, at the risk of sounding too much like my dad, I do find that some of these tracks are just too noisy--melody, please!)

22. Santogold | Santogold: Carrie turned me on to this album, and it's very, very good. Next to "Sex on Fire" and "Electric Feel," "L.E.S. Artistes" might be my favorite track of '08.

21. Vivian Girls | Vivian Girls: I must admit, I'm remiss to include a ten-track album that is twenty-two minutes long (seriously), but damned if they don't remind me of a younger version of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs...and not for the superficial reason that both are girl groups...and are from Brooklyn...ok, fine, it's partly that. Also: + 1,000 cool points for the band name.

20. Third | Portishead: I'll admit that I've never really "gotten" Portishead, but I did enjoy this album, particularly, "Machine Gun" (track #8) which, deliberately or unintentionally (I'm guessing the former) channels Vangelis's work on the Blade Runner soundtrack. Very cool.

19. Forth | The Verve: question: does this album really hold together beyond the awesome "Love is Noise" (track #2)? Answer: Insofar as I had to re-listen to this album to determine precisely what tracks 3 through 10 sounded like...no, not really. The risk of this album being confused with, say, Urban Hymns (or even A Northern Soul) is pretty damn remote, but, hey, it's not a bad disc, and I'm awarding them points for re-uniting at all, which is something that seemed impossible as recently as four years ago.

18. Narrow Stairs | Death Cab for Cutie:
PITCHFORK SCORE: 6.0: On Narrow Stairs, Death Cab move from the undergraduate longing of their earlier work and the looming mortality of Plans to a more generalized existential angst. But they're most successful when they don't switch up their style to match; the sound of settling, as Transatlanticism maintained, is a peppy "ba ba," not the krautrock pulse of this album's synth-touched remainder metaphor, "Long Division". Elsewhere, the tabla on "Pity and Fear" sounds out of place, not far-out; as Indian-instrumented songs about an apparent adulterous one-night stand go, this one's no "Norwegian Wood".
Comment: I literally don't understand what they're trying to say here (other than that DCFC isn't as good as the Beatles). Have they changed too much? Too little? Too obviously? Were they wrong to change at all? This isn't supposed to be a riddle, people!

Of course, that same review features PF at its very best:
Speaking of singles, Narrow Stairs' first is the eight-and-a-half minute "I Will Possess Your Heart", a decision that's likely to be more successful as brand repositioning than it is as rock music. Death Cab get uncompromising-artist points for the four-minute intro that builds up with vamping bass, sprinkles of keyboard, and atmospheric guitar, but it's hardly essential to the standard-length pop song that follows, about how a well-intentioned man can turn into a de facto creepy stalker. "You gotta spend some time, love," Gibbard sings, as if by explanation for the song's length.
Yes! Anyway, I don't have much to add, except to say that this is a good (not great) addition to the DCFC canon. If they could somehow manage to make their next album sound exactly like Plans, it'd be greatly appreciated on this end.

17. Live at Massey Hall | Matthew Good: a nice return to form for Matt Good, this two-disc set (which also includes some cool acoustic stuff near the end) allows me to officially discount 2007's Hospital Music as an unfortunate misfire (and not a sign that he's on his way down, down, down). Looking forward to 2009's Vancouver.

16. The Slip | Nine Inch Nails: still haven't had a chance to unpack this like I should, but what I've heard, I like considerably. (And that's the best you're going to get from me on this album--sorry.)

15. Parc Avenue | Plants and Animals: a very interesting album, in that it starts out as a Frames album (as noted by Carrie) and then veers off into some sort of free-flowing jazz odyssey near the end.

14.
808s and Heartbreak | Kanye West:
it's perhaps fitting that the first Kanye album that I can legitimately say I like (as opposed to all the other times, when it was purely to boost my street cred) is the first one to get mixed reviews. I'm ok with that. I really am.

13. Cardinology | Ryan Adams and the Cardinals: I'm pleased to report that this album is more in line with Easy Tiger and Cold Roses (aka good albums) and not 29 and Jacksonville City Nights (ehm...bad). He's never going to be a chart-topper, but every album (even his lousy ones) is good for at least two beautifully written songs. Here, it starts very strong, with the first four tracks-- "Born Into the Light," "Go Easy," "Fix It," and "Magick"--providing as good a run as he's put together in five or six years, peters out for a bit, then builds back up to a strong finish ("Like Yesterday" followed by "Stop," a very solid closing track).

12. In Ghost Colours | Cut Copy: now, it's pretty rare for an electropop/dance-punk outfit to release an album that's strong from start to finish (usually there's a track or two that is almost unlistenable). For a long time, I thought the only exception was LCD Soundsystem (who, much to my dismay, didn't release an album in '08), but now I think I'll have to add Melbourne's Cut Copy to list, as each of the fifteen tracks here are almost perfectly crafted. Even if this sound isn't really your thing, I think you should check them out.

11. Saturdays=Youth | M83: a gorgeous record from a group that wasn't even on my radar until they released a cover of Bloc Party's "Pioneers" back in 2005. I bet you thought we didn't even need a Tangerine Dream for the 21st century. Well, I'm pleased to report that we do...and they're kind of awesome.

10. Intimacy | Bloc Party: Interestingly, as recently as four months ago, this was in danger of becoming the first Bloc Party album that I not only wasn't wild about but actually actively hated (to the point where I openly groaned when they busted out two new tracks at V-Fest), but I turned a corner in November. Do I wish Intimacy sounded more like Silent Alarm? Oh, absolutely...but I'm beginning to appreciate their foray into dance-punk. Which isn't, of course, to say that I'm altogether thrilled with this record (I think that "Mercury" is an especially poor--and, ultimately, completely empty--first single.) But Intimacy's saving grace is that for every forgettable or misguided track there's one that knocks you flat on your ass. (in this case: "Signs," which is dazzling).

You didn't ask, but, yes, I am somewhat concerned that my favorite band is, with each subsequent album, straying further and further away from the material that made me fall in love with them (given that their three albums have gone #1, #4, and now #10 on my year end lists, I do feel a bit like Murray defending the Crazy Dogggz in the season two premiere: "they're making hit after hit! "Doggy Bounce"...#1 "Doggy Dance"...#5, "In The Pound"...#37. It's not going to stop. It's never going to stop! They're a hit making machine!!"), but as long as they provide me with a couple of "Signs" moments, they'll remain in my good books.

9. Chinese Democracy | Guns N' Roses: my thoughts on the album can be found here (scroll down to Misha's 2008 entry). I'll admit, I wasn't bowled over initially--as near as I can recall, it went something like this:
Listen #1: didn't register.
Listen #2: hated it.

**This was followed by a 45 minute conversation with Misha (during which I spoke for approximately seventeen seconds) wherein he described the album in minute detail and explained how it was unequivocally amazing.**

Listen #3: hated it.
Listen #4: starting to come around.

**This was followed by me attempting to sing "Shackler's Revenge" for the first time in Rock Band 2.**

Listen #5: really digging it.
...and so forth. I'm probably on listen #15 now and, while it's not exactly "The Waste Land" set to music (note to readers: this sentence only makes sense if you realize that I really, really like T.S. Eliot), it's pretty flippin' good.

8. Oracular Spectacular | MGMT: great record, horrible title (as opposed to Coldplay's latest, which, you know...). For whatever reason, despite listening to this album at least once a week between its release in January and September, I ignored it for the better part of three months as the year wound down, and then, when I came back to it, it wasn't nearly as good as I remembered. This happens once a year (last year it was Modest Mouse's We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank and, three years ago, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah's self-titled album) and, despite my best efforts, isn't really explainable. Ah, well. Here, the problem seems to be that the non-showcase songs (basically, anything other than "Time to Pretend," "Kids," and--my personal pick for song of the year--"Electric Feel") are considerably weaker than I previously thought. No matter, as there's nothing here that's skippable, I'm slotting it at #8 (and if that seems to be setting the best album of the year standard a little low, so be it...).

7.
Dead Calm Horizon | Ketch Harbour Wolves:
shout out to Rob for introducing me to these guys. Fabulous album, which I'd knock for being tantalizingly short (seven tracks) were it not made available for free on their website.

6. Flight of the Conchords | Flight of the Conchords:
PITCHFORK SCORE: 7.2: But the concept gets muddled, especially on their first full-length studio record. Where do they draw the lines between the real-life band, the band we see struggling on the show, and the band that the struggling band wishes it could be? They bill themselves as New Zealand's fourth-best novelty act-- so should we laugh at the songs, or with them? And their love of AM radio love songs shines true-- they thank Barry White in the album liner notes, probably not ironically-- but are we supposed to congratulate them for trying to do the same thing?
Comment: this doesn't strike me as an even remotely valid criticism. You find the dissonance between unsuccessful fictional Jemaine and Bret and successful real Jemaine and Bret confusing? Really?? Allow me to clarify: it's a fucking TV show!!

This almost shouldn't be here, since it's as least as much of a comedy album as it is a proper album, meaning that it doesn't exactly lend itself to multiple listens (and is next to useless as musical accompaniment to reading, not because it's not great--it is--but because you spend the whole time listening (and laughing along with) the lyrics). But even if I treat it like a real album, there's a lot to love here: "The Most Beautiful Girl (in the Room)" (responsible for one of the five best moments at our wedding), "Foux Du Fafa," "Robots," "Business Time," "Inner City Pressure," "Hip-Hopopotamus vs. The Rhymenoceros," "Bowie" (which, I must admit, despite it's popularity, I'm fairly lukewarm towards), and "Think About It" (which contains my favorite FotC lyric...which doesn't translate all that well in print so click here...it's the part about the sneakers, particularly Jemaine's brilliant aside). As an added bonus, if you get the album through iTunes, they throw in "Brett You Got it Goin' On" (my personal favorite). Goddamn...that's great stuff. (Yes, I just cued it up.)

5. Feed the Animals | Girl Talk: apparently, GT has been around forever (by which, of course, I mean: since 2002), but I only stumbled across him late in '08 (and only then because he was featured on NPR's All Songs Considered). At the risk of the being hyperbolic, if you can't groove to this disc (even a little) than you have no soul.

4.
Stay Positive | The Hold Steady:
if I were being shitty, I could probably fault this disc for being a bit too similar to (the superior) Boys and Girls in America, but, no, that's crap. This may put me in the minority, but I'd rather a band release multiple quality albums (I said quality albums, Brandon Flowers) in a similar vein than attempt to re-invent themselves every time out. Agreed, they haven't exactly re-invented the wheel here, but I don't care. My God, are they ever good storytellers.

3. Fleet Foxes | Fleet Foxes:
when I'm feeling uncharitable, I'm inclined to think that this is, secretly, an only ok album wrapped around a drop-dead gorgeous track ("White Winter Hymnal"), but every time I think that, I cue up the disc and find something else to admire (Meadowlark, Blue Ridge Mountains, even the-pretty-damn-weird Red Squirrel).

2. For Emma, Forever Ago | Bon Iver:
the CD I can't seem to stop listening to. As Rob deftly noted: how shitty does it feel to be Iver's ex-girlfriend (for argument's sake, let's call her Emma) right now? Not only does he use your break-up as fodder for a gorgeous collection of songs (which, I think it's safe to say, would make any number of women weak at the knees), but this same collection of songs (again: largely about you) has vaulted him onto countless top ten lists, made him at least moderately wealthy, and turned him into an indie darling. Ouch.

1. Only by the Night | Kings of Leon: not at all surprising, is my guess, since this was my pick for the Best Album of 2008 in our twenty-seven four part series on the best albums of our lives (2004-2008 entry found here). I'll close with an excerpt from what I'm fairly certain is the worst Pitchfork review of this (or any other) year:
#1 PITCHFORK SCORE: 3.8: After years spent building a career on the enduringly romanticized Stillwater archetype, Kings of Leon have laterally shifted from one easily understood linear narrative (festival band) to another (arena rock band). Dropping the transparently hayseed act, the band could have turned an artistic corner; yet the first single from Only By the Night is called "Sex on Fire", so if there was any debate about whether Kings of Leon are in on their own joke, I think it can be put to rest. If we're misreading them, we're missing out on one corker of a comedy album based on an "SNL"-level premise: What if Bono got lost in the Blue Ridge Mountains and was replaced by a local yokel? (Suggested band name: Y'All2.)
Comment: wait...what? That's so stupid.

I won't lie, their hate for this album (3.8!) is baffling, so I'm not even going to try to parse the statement. Look, do you like things that are awesome? Yes? OK...then you'll enjoy this album.