"Even Immigrants Enjoying Measure of Comfort..."

In light of yesterday's Dow downturn, here's my favorite Onion headline ever:

And this is pretty funny, too:

Some Old Man Still Churning Out Marmaduke

MONTGOMERY, TX—"I love what I do," said the elderly cartoonist, his body and mind crippled by an endless and repetitive stream of doodles featuring the Great Dane.