Greatest NFL Uniforms Ever, Bar None: The Chargers powder blue unis from the Air Coyrell era (see left). I thought they'd retired these bad boys, but I'm happy to report that they're back...for at least one game this year. Memo to Chargers: wear these every week! It's not like you're going to play any worse than you already have.
Enduring Hilarious Subplot: Peter King being in love with Brett Favre. I don't even really have a joke here. I just think it's funny. I mean, they actually text each other.
Absolutely Ridiculous Stat That is, Somehow, Actually True: The Lions are now 0-21 all-time against the Redskins in Washington.
The Much Ado About Nothing Award: I actually like Brett Favre and I think his resurgence is one of the truly interesting stories this season, but let's face facts: through Week 6, Peyton Manning is only 138 touchdown passes behind Favre. Is there any chance that he doesn't shatter this record? (See also: Rodriguez, Alex and Bonds, Barry.)
Worst Ads: Budweiser's "salute" to NFL fans. These make me angry every time I see them. Like the Jets fan referencing Super Bowl 3 (sorry: III). Like the Dolphins fan referencing the perfect season which--news flash--happened 35 fucking years ago. Arguably, the one with the Cowboys fans is the least egregious, as they are talking about a dynasty from roughly a decade ago, but even that is borderline. Put it this way: I consider myself a die-hard Tigers fan, and I consider the 1984 World Champion squad to be one of the best ever (they started 35-5! Won the AL East by fifteen games! Dropped one playoff game!), to the point where I had a framed copy of the '84 team picture up on the wall in my office when I was in grad school. But, if you ever hear me mentioning the '84 sqaud as a reason to root for the current team, you have my permission to shoot me in the face. You know why? Because those two teams, now 23 years apart, have, aside from their uniforms (and even those have changed) have absolutely nothing in common. If I ever met any of those fans--honestly, dude, Joe Namath's grandson might be too old for the NFL--I would laugh and laugh (and laugh) at them. (I'm fairly certain that Bud handed this ad campaign to a company that had no football knowledge but, to compensate for this, promptly went out and bought a football almanac. "Quick, Johnson, flip to the facts and figures section. I don't want to lose this account!")
Fantasy Football Resurgence: After opening a combined 1-7 in my first three weeks in my fantasy leagues, I went a combined 5-4 in the next three weeks. Say, that's really not that impressive at all, is it? Damn. Well, I've reeled off three wins in a row in the one league I'm paying for to get to 3-3. Still not amazed? Hmmm. I'll get back to you...
Game of the Year: Buffalo vs. Dallas (Week 5). Runners-Up: ummm...Denver vs. Buffalo (Week 1), Indy vs. Tennessee (Week 2), Cincy vs. Cleveland (Week 2), Chicago vs. Minnesota (Week 6). I had to look most of those up--what is up with the dearth of good games this year? It's a little disconcerting.
One-Third MVP: Tom Brady. And it's really not very close at all. I could see Peyton Manning and Randy Moss possibly being in the discussion, but it's Brady's to lose (which [spoiler tag] he won't) at this stage.
This Cannot Be a Good Sign: 44-year old Vinny Testaverde started for the Carolina Panthers last Sunday. His respectable numbers (20 of 33, 206 yards, 1 TD, no INTs) have more to do with Arizona's rather porous defense than anything (on his lone TD pass, which was a 60 yard bomb to the incomparable Steve Smith, the Cardinals cornerback simply stopped defending after 30 yards) but this raises a bigger point: where the hell are all the good QBs?? Did you know that the Cardinals--willingly--offered to pay Tim Rattay to play QB for them? It never ceases to amaze me how, in a league that has 96 QBs on its roster (32 teams x 3, though some teams actually only hava one backup), only a dozen or so are competent. Which is another way of saying: 7 out of every 8 quarterbacks in the NFL are basically terrible.
I thought I'd look up some draft stats on this subject. From 2002-2006 (I didn't include the 2007 draft, since most of the QBs there haven't had a chance to distinguish themselves), 71 quarterbacks were drafted. Of those 71, here are the ones I'd consider adequate or better: David Garrard (2002); Chris Simms, Carson Palmer, Byron Leftwich, Kyle Boller (2003); Eli Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, Philip Rivers, Matt Schaub (2004); Alex Smith, Jason Campbell (2005); Vince Young, Matt Leinart, Jay Cutler, Kellen Clemens (possibly) (2006). That's 14 (or about 1 in 5) quarterbacks having "made it," with roughly triple that number no longer in the league at all. That strikes me as pretty weak. More on this another time...
Fantasy Killers: Shaun Alexander, Larry Johnson, Rudi Johnson, Steven Jackson, Drew Brees, Lee FUCKING Evans (note: I hate you, Lee Evans), Hines Ward, Marc Bulger, Vernon Davis, Devery Henderson, Joe Horn. Thanks for showing up, guys. I hope I'm wrong about LJ, since I traded him straight up for Brees three weeks ago.
Fantasy Sleepers: Derek Anderson, Jason Witten, Dwayne Bowe, and Devin Hester. Funny, I envisioned this list being more substantial.
Projected Records:
AFC East: New England (16-0), Buffalo (5-11), NY Jets (3-13), Miami (1-15)
AFC North: Pittsburgh (13-3), Cleveland (9-7), Baltimore (8-8), Cincinnati (7-9)
AFC South: Indianapolis (14-2), Jacksonville (10-6), Tennessee (10-6), Houston (6-10),
AFC West: San Diego (11-5), Denver (9-7), Kansas City (7-9), Oakland (5-11)
NFC East: Dallas (12-4), NY Giants (11-5), Washington (10-6), Philadelphia (6-10)
NFC North: Green Bay (11-5), Detroit (8-8), Minnesota (7-9), Chicago (7-9)
NFC South: Tampa Bay (10-6), Carolina (9-7), New Orleans (6-10), Atlanta (3-13)
NFC West: Seattle (9-7), Arizona (7-9), San Fran (5-11), St. Louis (2-14)
Note: Initially, I had New England going 15-1, losing to either Indy or Pittsburgh. But screw it, I'm rolling the dice. I think they can do it (unless Brady dies or something...).
Playoffs:
First Round Byes: NE, Indy, Dallas, Green Bay
Wild Card Round: Pittsburgh over Jacksonville (WC), San Diego over Tennessee (WC), Washington (WC) over Tampa Bay, Seattle over NY Giants (WC)
Divisional Round: NE over SD, Indy over Pittsburgh, Dallas over Washington, Seattle over Green Bay
Conference Finals: Dallas over Seattle, NE over Indy
Super Bowl: New England 45, Dallas 24
5 comments:
Kyle I certainly hope you realize Kyle that all of these players would fall before the iron fist of the invincible Iron Man.
Zap it up, zap it up, zap-zap-zap it up, Iron Man.
I really had nothing more salient to say. I don't know football too good.
lol
Call me crazy, but I'm actually really excited to see that movie...
Actually, I don't think Iron Man would lose to New England right now. Pats 45, Stark 12
[/Bill Swirsky Superfan voice]
Just wanted to point out that I nailed all 12 playoff teams. That's right, I'm awesome.
You also had Seattle going over Green Bay in Green Bay, so let's not suck each other's popsicles quite yet, gentlemen.
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